First Light
by rentheadperson
Summary: Eclipse from Edward's POV. The T rating is NOT for safety. I'm sure you can guess why.
1. Prologue

Be kind. I wrote this right after writing Darkest Night. I've been working on them for a while and am just now getting brave enough to share them with people other than a few friends.

Anyhoo, again, YES, the dialogue in the parts with Bella is from the book, but again, it's Edward's commentary on the dialogue.

NOTE: I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!

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_Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty._  
**-François Duc de La Rochefoucauld**

Prologue

I crouched in front of my love, baring my teeth, as I prepared to defend her against the coming monsters. Once again, I wondered why the world of mythical creatures, my world, couldn't just let her be.

It was thanks to this world, and my efforts to keep her protected from it, that I was no longer sure if the girl who sat behind me, the reason for my existence, was even mine to defend anymore. Did she truly love me? Or had her love for my mortal enemy overpowered her love for me? I didn't know. And I couldn't ask her, because I wasn't sure if _she_ knew.

But, as the sadistic vampire who had hunted her for the past year came forward, ready to kill her, I realized something. I didn't care. All I cared about was that she was safe and happy, no matter who it was that she was safe and happy with. If my enemy was who she wanted, I would accept that. I would let her be with him. And I wanted her to live long enough to make the choice.

I sank deeper into my crouch, a growl rumbling in my chest, as the ones who wanted her dead came closer.


	2. 1 Separation

1. Separation

I waited patiently in the tree outside Bella's window for the clock to strike seven. I was only allowed into Bella's house between the hours of seven and nine-thirty p.m., under the supervision of Charlie. But at least I was allowed to see her. Bella had started enough over me that Charlie finally agreed to give me visiting hours during his daughter's prison sentence, which she had earned for an unexplained three-day disappearance (and if Charlie knew that she had really gone to Italy to save my life and not to L.A., he probably would have bricked over the doorway), one episode of cliff diving, and numerous counts of riding a motorcycle.

Of course, I still saw Bella every day at school, which Charlie couldn't do much about. And I spent almost every night with her in her room, but Charlie wasn't aware of that—thank goodness. But the afternoons were agonizing. Ever since I'd come back to Forks, it had been physically painful for me to be apart from Bella, no matter for how short a time. Although she put on a brave face, I knew it was painful for Bella to be apart from me, too. It brought back memories of a time when I had left her for much longer than three hours. And it made me sick to know this. I never wanted to be the cause of any of Bella's pain ever again. I'd caused my love more than enough pain already.

All of a sudden, I smelled burning food. That was odd. Bella was a good cook. She never burned dinner. Charlie must be cooking tonight. Why? I stopped thinking about the pain I was in being away from Bella and listened in on their conversation.

"What did I do wrong?" Charlie asked.

"You're supposed to take the lid off first, Dad," Bella told him, as if she were explaining it to a five-year-old. "Metal's bad for microwaves."

"Did I get the noodles right?"

"Stirring helps," she told him with a hint of humor in her voice.

Charlie sighed. _Maybe I should've just let her cook. I can't even make a pot of spaghetti._

"So what's all this about?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," he grumbled. But I read his motives in his thoughts. He was going to release Bella from her prison sentence early, but he had some conditions. He was trying to soften her up for the conversation.

"Did I miss something? Since when do you make dinner? Or _try_ to make dinner, I should say."

"There's no law that says I can't cook in my own house."

"You would know," Bella teased her father.

I chuckled at her lame joke. Her dad was the chief of police in this small town.

"Ha. Good one," Charlie said dryly.

I heard the chair move as Charlie sat down at the table and read the paper. He came across an article about the recent killings in Seattle and clicked his tongue.

"I don't know why you read the news, Dad. It only ticks you off," Bella said.

"This is why everyone wants to live in a small town. Ridiculous."

"What have the big cities done wrong now?" Bella teased.

"Seattle's making a run for murder capital of the country. Five unsolved homicides in the past two weeks. Can you imagine living like that?"

"I think Phoenix is actually higher up on the homicide list, Dad. I _have_ lived like that."

Yes, Bella had lived in a big city. And she'd never come close to being a murder victim until after she'd moved to Forks. As a matter of fact, she was still on Victoria's hit list, as well as the Volturi's. I cringed at the thought and wished for the millionth time that I could end it once and for all, with my own two hands.

Charlie continued to read the paper as he ate his dinner. After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke again. "You're right. I did have a reason for doing this. I wanted to talk to you."

"You could have just asked," Bella said.

"Yeah. I'll remember that next time. I thought taking dinner off your hands would soften you up."

Bella laughed. "It worked—your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow. What do you need, Dad?"

"Well, it's about Jacob."

Oh, great. Charlie was ridiculously enthusiastic about Bella's friendship with the werewolf.

"What about him?" Bella asked stiffly.

"Easy, Bells. I know you're still upset that he told on you, but it was the right thing. He was being responsible."

I did have to agree with that. I was quite glad that Charlie had found out about the motorcycle. I didn't like the idea of Bella riding a motorcycle any more than Charlie did.

"Responsible," Bella spat. "Right. So what about Jacob?"

_How do I say this without making her throw a tantrum?_ "Don't get mad at me, okay?"

"Mad?" Bella's voice was confused.

"Well, it's about Edward, too." _This is why I didn't want to talk to her about this._ Apparently Bella made a face, because Charlie was suddenly defensive. "I let him in the house, don't I?"

"You do. For brief periods of time."

Yes, brief indeed. Too brief.

"Of course, you might let me _out _of the house for brief periods now and then, too," Bella continued. "I've been pretty good lately."

"Well, that's kind of where I was heading with this…"

"I'm confused, Dad. Are we talking about Jacob, Edward, or me being grounded?"

"Sort of all three," Charlie responded.

"And how do they relate?"

"Okay," he sighed. "So I'm thinking maybe you deserve a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, you're amazingly non-whiney."

"Seriously? I'm free?"

"Conditionally."

"Fantastic," Bella groaned.

_Okay, here goes…_ "Bella, this is more of a request than a demand, okay? You're free. But I'm hoping you'll use that freedom…judiciously."

"What does that mean?"

Charlie sighed. _How do I say this lightly?_ "I know you're satisfied to spend all of your time with Edward—"

I smiled. He was right. She was satisfied to spend all of her time with me. And I was satisfied to spend all of my time with her. There weren't enough hours in the day to spend with my love.

"I spend time with Alice, too," Bella reminded him.

"That's true. But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you _used _to."

So _that's_ what he was getting at. He was freeing Bella, but he wanted her to spend time with her other friends, too. And this included Jacob.

"When was the last time you spoke to Angela Weber?" Charlie asked.

"Friday at lunch."

"Outside of school?"

"I haven't seen _anyone_ outside of school, Dad. Grounded, remember? And Angela has a boyfriend, too. She's always with Ben. _If_ I'm really free, maybe we could double."

I smiled. I liked Angela and Ben a lot. Angela was a good friend to Bella, and Ben was a nice, well-meaning kid. Maybe Bella could pacify her father without involving werewolves.

"Okay. But then…" _How do I bring up Jacob without getting her mad?_ "You and Jake used to be joined at the hip, and now—"

"Can you get to the point, Dad? What's your condition—exactly?"

"I don't think you should dump all your other friends for your boyfriend, Bella. It's not nice, and I think your life would be better balanced if you kept some other people in it. What happened last September…"

Why, oh why, did Charlie have to remind Bella of that? He knew how painful it was for her to remember. That was a low blow.

_Shouldn't have brought that up._ "Well," Charlie said, defensive now, "if you'd had more of a life outside of Edward Cullen, it might not have been like that."

"It would have been exactly like that."

I looked at my watch. Charlie bringing up the subject of my absence had brought back the aching desire to be with my love again. Just a few more minutes now.

"Maybe, maybe not."

"The point?"

"Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced."

"Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though?"

_Well, you could not see Edward at all. That would suit me just fine. _"I don't want to make this complicated. Just don't forget your other friends…particularly Jacob."

I hissed quietly. Bella spending time with the dog was out of the question. It was much too dangerous.

"Jacob might be…difficult," Bella told Charlie.

"The Blacks are practically family, Bella. And Jacob has been a very, _very_ good friend to you."

"I know that."

I couldn't argue with that. Jacob had been a good friend to Bella when I was gone. Maybe I should let her see him occasionally. But he was a _werewolf_. No, I couldn't allow that.

"Don't you miss him at all?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, I do miss him," Bella said, her voice thick. "I miss him a lot."

"Then why is it difficult?"

I panicked. What would Bella say to that? She obviously couldn't tell her father the real reason why she couldn't see her friend, and she'd never been much good at coming up with stories.

"With Jacob there is a…conflict," Bella said. "A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesn't always seem to be enough for Jake."

That was pretty good. And also true.

"Isn't Edward up for a little healthy competition?" Charlie asked sarcastically.

"There is no competition," Bella said strongly.

I smiled. I still wondered constantly why she was with me. Still wondered what I could possibly have done to deserve the angel who had laid her claim on me.

"You're hurting Jake's feelings, avoiding him like this. He'd rather be just friends than nothing."

"I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't want to be friends at all," Bella said, and I could hear the pain in her voice. "Where'd you get that idea, anyway?"

"The subject might have come up today with Billy…"

"You and Billy gossip like old women."

"Billy's worried about Jacob. Jake's having a hard time right now…He's depressed. And then you were always so happy after spending the day with Jake."

"I'm happy _now_," Bella growled.

Charlie burst into laughter at the contrast between Bella's words and her tone, and Bella joined in. Hearing the sound of my angel's laughter, sweeter than the most beautiful music, made me laugh quietly too. I glanced at my watch again. Almost time.

"Okay, okay," Bella said when she'd gotten control of herself. "Balance."

"And Jacob."

I scowled. How could I keep Bella from Jacob without getting her in trouble with Charlie?

"I'll try," Bella said.

"Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, you've got some mail. It's by the stove."

Charlie's thoughts told me that he had opened a rather significant piece of mail addressed to Bella. Her first college acceptance: the University of Alaska Southwest.

"Er, thanks," Bella said. "That was quick. I guess I missed the deadline on that one too."

Charlie chuckled. _Nope, not even close._

"It's open," Bella said, shocked.

"I was curious," Charlie admitted.

"I'm shocked, Sheriff. That's a federal crime."

"Oh, just read it." After a minute, he spoke again. "Congratulations. Your first acceptance."

"Thanks, Dad."

"We should talk about tuition. I've got some money saved up—"

I sighed. I so wanted to pay for Bella's college tuition, but I knew she wouldn't have it. She hated when I spent any money on her at all.

"Hey, hey, none of that," Bella protested. "I'm not touching your retirement, Dad. I've got my college fund."

"Some of those places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don't have to go all the way to Alaska just because it's cheaper."

I chuckled. That wasn't at all why we were going to Alaska, if indeed that was where Bella decided to go. We were going to Alaska because it was it was far away from Forks (Bella's prerequisite) and it had an average of three hundred twenty-one overcast days per year (my prerequisite).

"I've got it covered. Besides, there's lots of financial aid out there. It's easy to get loans."

I chuckled. I knew she had barely done any research at all on the subject.

"So…" Charlie began.

"So what?"

"Nothing. I was just…just wondering what …Edward's plans are for next year?"

What were my plans for next year? I was going wherever Bella went. I would follow her to the end of the earth if she asked me to.

I glanced at my watch again. Oh, thank the good Lord above! I could see my love now. I jumped out of the tree and headed toward the door.

"Oh."

"Well?"

I knocked on the door three times.

"Coming!" I heard Bella yell, while Charlie muttered, "Go away."

The door flew open, and there she stood, my angel. I smiled as she looked at me and chuckled quietly when I realized that she'd stopped breathing. Again. She reached for my hand and we both sighed as our hands met. I was instantly cured of the ache in my chest the second I'd seen her, and her touch was like a cool ointment on a burning wound.

"Hey," she said, smiling.

I raised our interlaced fingers to brush her cheek with the back of my hand. "How was your afternoon?"

"Slow."

"For me, as well."

I pulled her wrist up to my face, still keeping her hand in mine, and closed my eyes as I skimmed my nose along her forearm. She still smelled as sweet to me, but I no longer shied away from it. I knew what it felt like to think I'd lost her, and I knew I could never hurt her. Her blood was no longer a temptation for me. It was oddly sensual, smelling her like this.

I heard Charlie stomping to the door, so I opened my eyes and dropped her arm, still keeping her hand in mine.

"Good evening, Charlie," I said. I was always careful to be polite to Charlie, even when he did not return the favor. I turned to look at my love again. "I brought another set of applications," I told her, holding up the stuffed manila envelope, which was filled with several applications, including one to Dartmouth. I wore a roll of stamps like a ring around my pinky finger.

Bella groaned, and I didn't have to read her mind to know exactly what she was thinking.

"There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions." Of course, no need to say that the exceptions were motivated by rather large sums of money.

She scowled, but her joy at having me in the house made the scowl a very comical expression. I had to laugh.

"Shall we?" I asked her, leading her toward the kitchen table.

Charlie made a noise of disgust and followed us, but his thoughts betrayed that he wouldn't complain about the activity on the agenda for the evening. I hadn't thought he would. I knew he wanted Bella to make a decision about college. And so did I, for that matter.

"Speaking of college applications, Edward," Charlie said, his tone thick with displeasure, "Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?"

_Wherever Bella decides to go._ "Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options."

"Where have you been accepted?"

"Syracuse…Harvard…Dartmouth…and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southwest today," I said, turning my head slightly so I could wink at Bella. She pursed her lips together and I could tell she was trying to keep back a giggle.

"Harvard? Dartmouth? Well that's pretty…that's something." Charlie said. "Yeah, but the University of Alaska…you wouldn't really consider that when you could go to Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to…"

Now it was my turn to stifle a laugh. He wasn't going to keep me away from his daughter that easily. "Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I told him politely.

"Hmph." _How'd I know he'd end up going where Bella did? I wish he'd stay away from her._

"Guess what, Edward?" Bella said, playing along.

"What, Bella?" I smiled.

She pointed to the envelope on the counter. "I just got _my _acceptance to the University of Alaska!"

I grinned. Of course, I'd known this before even Charlie had. "Congratulations! What a coincidence."

Charlie glanced back and forth between his daughter and me. The look on his face was not pleasant, and neither were his thoughts. "Fine," he muttered after a minute. "I'm going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty." That was his usual parting command.

"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?"

Charlie sighed. "Right. Okay, _ten_-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

"Bella's no longer grounded?" I asked, acting like I had no idea.

"Conditionally," Charlie growled. "What's it to you?"

"It's just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights." I smiled at her.

"No!" Charlie growled, his face turning purple.

"Dad!" Bella exclaimed, shocked at this reaction. "What's the problem?"

"I don't want you going to Seattle right now," he told Bella through clenched teeth.

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper—there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle—"

"No, that's fine, Charlie," I interrupted her. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not."

My family had been keeping tabs on the situation in Seattle for a few weeks, and we had come to the conclusion that it was a newborn vampire. Of course I wouldn't have my love within fifty miles of Seattle right now. It was much too dangerous, even if she had Alice or me with her. Even if she had Alice _and_ me with her. I would never take that kind of risk with her safety.

Charlie glared at me for another moment. "Fine," he grunted as he made his way to the living room.

"What—," Bella started to ask.

Charlie was still listening. "Hold on," I said, grabbing the Dartmouth application and pretending to look at it. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions."

She sighed and started to fill out the application. I turned to look out the window. I saw her look up at me and then look back down at her work. Apparently she caught the name of the school, because she snorted and tossed the paper aside.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Be serious, Edward. _Dartmouth_?"

I laid the discarded application in front of her again. "I think you'd like New Hampshire. There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife." I smiled the crooked smile I knew she loved.

She took a deep breath through her nose, and I knew she was thinking of the tuition. I didn't understand why she was being so difficult about it. I so wanted to do this for her.

"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy," I teased. I had no intention whatsoever of letting her pay me back. "If you want, I can charge you interest."

"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?"

"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply."

She clenched her jaw. "You know what? I don't think I will."

I grabbed the application and stuffed it in my jacket before she could throw it out.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I sign your name better than you do yourself," I told her. "You've already written the essays."

"You're going way overboard with this, you know," she whispered. "I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted at Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."

My face tightened in pain as I remembered that Bella was still firm in her decision to have Carlisle change her after graduation. I was still trying to figure out a way to get her to take me up on my offer to change her myself…after she married me. I wanted more than anything to be married to her. "Bella—," I started to say.

"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

"I thought the timing was still undecided," I said, some of the pain I was feeling leaking through in my voice. "You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had." _Like, for instance, getting married._

"I'll get to those afterward."

"They won't be _human_ experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."

She sighed. "You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with."

"There's no danger yet."

She glared at me, and then her face became distressed. I knew she wasn't really ready to be changed, no matter how stubbornly she insisted otherwise. And I wasn't going to let her go through with it until she was one hundred percent ready, until there was no pain in her face when she thought of it.

"Bella," I murmured softly, trying to soothe her. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she whispered, smiling weakly. "I want to be a monster, too."

I clenched my teeth. "You have no idea what you're saying," I said, flinging the newspaper at her. The story about the killings in Seattle was on the front page.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella," I told her sternly.

She stared at the headline again. "A…a _vampire_ is doing this?" she whispered, shocked.

I smiled, but there was no humor in it. "You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."

She dropped her gaze to the paper as I continued.

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there—the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence…Yes, someone brand new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte…" I took a deep breath. "Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

There was a long pause. "It won't be the same for me," Bella finally said. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."

I snorted, trying to break the tension. "Penguins. Lovely."

She laughed shakily and shoved the paper off the table. I knew she was still terrified. "Alaska, then, as planned," she said. "Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau—somewhere with grizzlies galore."

"Better," I said. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large."

Her mouth fell open as she gasped.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but then immediately realized what the problem was. "Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you."

"He was my best friend, Edward," she said, the pain she was feeling evident in her voice. "Of course the idea offends me."

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness," I said. It hurt to realize that someone else meant this much to her, not to mention the fact that he was a werewolf. "I shouldn't have suggested that."

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly, but she stared down, her fists clenched on the table.

I reached over and put my hand under her chin, coaxing her face up, forcing her to meet my gaze. "Sorry," I said. "Really."

"I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that…well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over." Of course I knew that. I had overheard the conversation she'd had with Charlie. "Charlie says Jake is having a hard time," she said, her tone pleading. "He's hurting right now, and…it's my fault."

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella," I said, trying to soothe her.

She took a deep breath. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway—"

"You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella," I said sternly. "And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?"

"Of course not!"

"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I looked away. I needed to change the subject. "I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out—you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading _Wuthering Heights_ again. Don't you know it by heart yet?" I teased.

"Not all of us have photographic memories," she said brusquely. _Wuthering Heights_ was one of her favorite books.

"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each other's lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

"You have some serious issues with the classics," she snapped.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity. Honestly, though, why _do_ you read it over and over?" I reached across the table to cup my hand around her cheek. I stared into the depths of her chocolate eyes, trying once again to unravel the mysteries of her mind. "What is it that appeals to you?"

"I'm not sure. I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart—not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end…"

She did have a point. True love was inevitable. I had personally experienced that.

I smiled at her. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality."

"I think that may be the point," she rebutted quickly. "Their love _is_ their only redeeming quality."

"I hope you have better sense than that—to fall in love with someone so…malignant," I teased.

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with. But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."

I laughed. "I'm glad _you_ think so."

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

"I'll be on my guard." It was far too late for me to worry about who I fell in love with, but of course Bella was one of the most selfless people I had ever met.

She sighed and put her hand over the hand I still had on her face. "I need to see Jacob," she said.

I closed my eyes. She was so stubborn. "No."

"It's truly not dangerous at all," she pleaded. "I used to spend time all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened." Her voice faltered at the end and her heart raced. She was lying.

"Werewolves are unstable," I said slowly. "Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed."

It took a few minutes for Bella's heart rate and breathing to return to normal. Finally, she spoke again. "You don't know them," she whispered.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."

"The last time?"

"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago…We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephriam Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce. We thought the line had died out with Ephriam. That the genetic quirk which allowed the transformation had been lost…Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands."

"But _I_ didn't bring them back. Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."

I stared at her, frozen in surprise. I hadn't considered _that_ explanation.

"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion," she continued. "I thought you would already know…"

I narrowed my eyes. "Is that what they think?"

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"

I blinked in shock, but I relaxed. "Carlisle will be interested in that theory."

"Theory," she spat.

I contemplated this for a moment, staring out the window so I could concentrate better. It was too easy to get distracted when I was looking at the embodiment of human perfection that was sitting beside me. It did make sense. Bella was probably right. But it didn't change the fact that werewolves were dangerous and I could not allow my love to be with them unsupervised.

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant," I told her. "The situation remains the same."

She got up and walked around the table. I opened my arms for her to sit in my lap and sighed quietly as she did so. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, never wanting to let go.

"Please just listen for a minute," my angel begged. "This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in _pain_. I can't _not_ try to help him—I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time…Well, he was there for me when I was…not so human myself. You don't know what it was like…"

I froze in place with the reminder of what my leaving had done to Bella. I knew what it was like better than she realized. Because it had been the same for me. If not for Alice and Jasper, well, it pained me to think what the creature Bella had saved in Italy would have been like.

"If Jacob hadn't helped me," she continued after a pause, "I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."

I closed my eyes, struggling with my decision. I wished so much that it had been a human Bella had bonded so closely with, even if it had been Mike Newton. Much as I hated Mike, he didn't lose control of himself and accidentally kill people when he got mad. I could have dealt with Bella seeing Mike. But Jacob. Of course, the person she felt she owed a debt to was my mortal enemy, someone very dangerous. I couldn't allow it.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I whispered, my eyes still closed. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

She put her hand against my cheek, and I knew she was trying to get me to look at her. But it was painful to do so, knowing how very much my wishes were hurting her. Finally I sighed and opened my eyes, staring into hers.

"You were just trying to do the right thing," she said, her tone soothing. "And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a _dog_."

She flinched at my derogatory term for her friend.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly," I continued. "It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am _not_ going to tolerate anything dangerous."

It hurt me, knowing that I was hurting her. I never wanted to hurt her again. But how could I allow this? I couldn't.

"You have to trust me on this," she said, gazing into my eyes with an expression that broke my dead, frozen heart. "I'll be fine."

"Please, Bella," I whispered, tightening my arms around her. It was all I had left.

She continued to stare into my eyes as she spoke. "Please what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

"I'll work on it," she muttered.

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me?" I asked her. "Any concept at all of how much I love you?" I pulled her closer still, tucking her head under my chin.

She kissed my neck firmly, and the sensation was like a jolt of electricity. I could almost feel my heart beating again. "I know how much _I _love _you_," she answered.

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."

"Impossible."

I kissed the top of her head and sighed. This route wasn't working. "No werewolves," I told her.

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."

"Then I'll have to stop you." I knew that wouldn't be a problem.

"We'll see about that. He's still my friend."

She was right. He was her friend. And I was hurting her by keeping her from him. But allowing her near him was too dangerous. I sighed in frustration as I pulled back to press my lips lightly to hers.


	3. 2 Distractions

2. Distractions

Bella was significantly more cheerful than usual the next day. Perhaps it was because she was no longer grounded. Or perhaps it was because graduation was just a few weeks away, and she wouldn't have to worry about school any longer.

I was elated, too, but it all had to do with the small, fragile hand I held in mine as we walked to the cafeteria. I saw the posters for the prom hanging on the walls, but we would not be attending this year. Bella had made me promise that she wouldn't be subjected to that again.

Alice, Bella, and I headed for our usual lunch table, with Bella's friend Angela Weber and Angela's boyfriend, Ben Cheney.

"Have you sent your announcements, yet?" Angela asked us as we sat down.

"No," Bella answered. "There's no point, really. Renee knows when I'm graduating. Who else is there?"

"How about you, Alice?" Angela asked.

Alice flashed one of her brilliant smiles. "All done."

"Lucky you," Angela said with a sigh. "My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it."

"I'll help you," Bella said. "If you don't mind my awful handwriting."

I smiled. This was good. She was fulfilling Charlie's conditions without involving werewolves. Of course, I knew it wouldn't be this easy to get her to forget about Jacob, but at least it was a step in the right direction.

_I'm glad Edward's back. She's finally back to her old self again._ "That's so nice of you," Angela said, relieved. "I'll come over any time you want."

"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay—I'm sick of mine. Charlie un-grounded me last night."

"Really?" Angela asked. "I thought you said you were in for life."

"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free."

"Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate." _It'll be nice to do something with someone besides Jessica._

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice mused. I smiled in amusement as I saw her ideas of a suitable celebration: a weekend in the Amazon, a trip to Niagra Falls in Canada…

"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm _that_ free," Bella said.

"Free is free, right?"

"I'm sure I still have boundaries—like the continental U.S., for example."

Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice was genuinely disappointed. Her plans changed to a shopping trip in Portland or a movie in Port Angeles.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Alice asked Bella.

"Nothing. Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's a school night, anyway."

"We'll celebrate this weekend, then."

"Sure."

Alice and Angela started talking about options for suitable celebrations. Bella was excited at first, joining in and reigning Alice in whenever her plans got too outlandish, but after a few minutes, I saw a look of sadness cross her face. I knew the cause. She realized that just because she was free, it didn't mean she was free to do _anything_ she wanted, and the thing she wanted most to do, the person she wanted most to see, was off-limits by my restrictions.

All of a sudden, a blank look crossed Alice's face as she saw something that was definitely not the cafeteria walls. Victoria was returning for Bella. She would be in Forks this weekend. _Get Bella out of town, Edward. Do whatever you have to do to get her out of town. The rest of us will take care of Victoria. You keep Bella safe. And don't tell her. Tell her I'm seeing Jasper in Texas or something. If you tell her, she'll insist on staying._

"Alice? Alice!" Angela's worried voice broke my attention from Alice for a moment.

Terrified as I was, I knew I had to play calm. And I would have to distract Bella and not let her get a moment of time alone with me to ask what was happening. But first thing was first.

I laughed quietly. "Is it naptime already, Alice?" I teased.

Alice returned to the present and composed herself. "Sorry. I was daydreaming, I guess."

"Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school," Ben said.

Alice threw herself back into the conversation about celebrations with more enthusiasm than before. Just a little too much, actually. She locked eyes with me once more during lunch. _She'll be okay, Edward. Don't worry about it. Just get her out of here._

I deliberately made sure that Bella wouldn't have a second alone with me during the rest of the day. After lunch, I slowed my pace to match Ben's and chattered mindlessly about some assignment I'd already finished. Then, between our next two classes, I talked with a few other people, not really paying attention to what we were talking about. I just needed to make sure that Bella couldn't ask me what Alice had seen. Maybe, if I kept her from asking long enough, she would forget about it.

After school, I struck up a conversation with Mike Newton, of all people. He was having car trouble.

"I'm needing a jump every morning, but I just replaced the battery," Mike said, frustrated.

"Perhaps it's the cables?" I suggested.

"Maybe. I don't really know anything about cars. I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again.

"I know a few things—I could take a look, if you like," I offered. "Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home."

Bella and Mike both stared at me with gaping mouths. I worried that Bella was seeing through my unusual act.

"Er…thanks," Mike muttered, completely shocked. _Why is he suddenly being nice to me? He hates me._ "But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time."

Alice was already in the Volvo, prepared to prattle endlessly. She was fully aware of what I was trying to do.

"What was _that_ about?" Bella asked as I opened her door for her.

"Just being helpful," I answered.

Alice started babbling the second I got in the car. "You're really not _that_ good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn't be fun to watch his face if _Rosalie_ showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college, I guess that's not the best idea. Too bad. Though, I suppose, for Mike's car, you'll do. It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas. What about as a graduation present?"

Alice continued to babble, while I drove in silence. I could tell Bella was getting more nervous by the second and was settling into her patient mode. She hadn't forgotten. I would have to figure out some other way to distract her.

As I dropped Alice off at the end of our driveway, she gave me a sharp look. _Don't tell her the truth, Edward. You'll frighten her and she'll insist on staying. Get her out of here._

"See you later," I said, trying my best to be perfectly at ease. In truth, I was terrified.

But then I suddenly had an epiphany. Bella had never used the voucher for the plane tickets to Jacksonville that Carlisle and Esme had given her for her birthday last year. I would somehow convince her to use the tickets to see her mother this weekend.

Bella and I were both silent as I drove back to her house. When I parked out front, I finally broke the silence.

"Light homework load tonight," I said absentmindedly.

"Mmm."

"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?"

"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school," she pointed out.

When we got inside, Bella headed up the stairs. I followed her up to her room and made myself comfortable on her bed as she turned on her computer to answer an e-mail from her mother. I had another epiphany. I could make her forget about Alice's vision altogether, at least for a while. I could make her forget her own name.

Bella's fingers tapped restlessly on the desk as she waited for her ancient computer to start up. I walked over to her and put my hand over hers, holding it still.

"Are we a little impatient today?" I murmured.

She looked up at me, I assumed to make a sarcastic remark, judging by the look on her face, but I made sure my face was close enough that she would lose her train of thought. I purposely breathed on her, and a dazed look crossed her face. I didn't give her a chance to recover. I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her with more enthusiasm than normal. Even though I knew I could never hurt her while I was kissing her, I still didn't want to push myself to go further with her. I couldn't do that. I _could_ hurt her if we went further. And I knew how badly she wanted it, so I had to be extremely careful, knowing I wouldn't meet any opposition if my instincts got the best of me.

But I was trying to distract her, so I knotted my fingers in her hair and pulled her closer to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she strained herself closer still. I slid one hand down her back, pressing her against me. She shivered against my cold body, so I loosened my hold ever so slightly, but she pressed herself back into me. I felt the tip of her tongue trace the bottom curve of my lip, and, when my first instinct was to carry her back to the bed, I knew I needed to stop. It took all of my willpower to pull back and unfasten her arms from my neck.

I chuckled once. "Ah, Bella," I sighed.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," she said, breathless.

"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed."

She exhaled. "If you think that's necessary…"

I smiled her favorite crooked smile as I disentangled myself and went back to the bed.

She shook her head a few times, trying to clear it, I assumed, then turned back to her computer, which was warmed up now.

"Tell Renee I said hello."

"Sure thing."

I watched her for a moment as she read Renee's e-mail and shook her head now and then. I smiled. Bella was almost the mother figure in that scenario. She had always taken care of her mother.

While Bella was typing, I got up and walked up behind her, sneakily retrieving the voucher for the airplane tickets without her noticing. It was then that I noticed the heap of metal that was sitting on the floor. It was the stereo system that Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had given her for her truck, and it had been horribly mutilated in her attempt to remove it.

When she had turned the computer off and turned around, I spoke, glad I'd found something else to distract her with.

"What did you _do_ to this?" I asked her in a teasingly horrified voice.

"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard."

"So you felt the need to torture it?"

"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally."

I shook my head. "You killed it."

Bella shrugged. "Oh, well."

"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this," I told her. "I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice."

"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo."

"It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it."

She sighed. She hated when I spent money on her.

This was the perfect opening to suggest the trip to Florida, which I would take her on if I had to drag her kicking and screaming.

"You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year," I said in a disgruntled voice. I started fanning myself with the voucher. "Do you realize these are about to expire?" I asked and held the paper out to her.

"No," she said flatly. "I'd forgotten all about them, actually."

I tried to stay cheerful and lighthearted. "Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated…and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me." I grinned. "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"

She gasped. "By going to Florida?"

"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable," I reminded her.

She glared at me, suspicion in her eyes, not speaking.

"Well," I asked after a long moment of silence, "are we going to see Renee or not?" Of course, we _were_ going to see Renee, but I would try to get her to go willingly rather than drag her there.

"Charlie will never allow it," she pointed out.

"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother," I argued. "She still has primary custody."

"Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult."

I pulled out the crooked smile she loved. "Exactly."

She deliberated for a minute and I watched her face carefully. I could tell she wanted to go, but she didn't want to bring the subject up with Charlie so soon after she'd been liberated.

After a minute, she sighed. "Not this weekend."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me."

It was getting easier to read her all the time. Many times, I didn't need to be able to read her mind to tell exactly what she was thinking.

I pulled my eyebrows together. "I think this weekend is perfect," I muttered. _This weekend is perfect, because I _will_ be getting you as far away as possible from the sadistic vampire who wants to kill you._

She shook her head. "Another time."

"You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know." I frowned.

The suspicion returned to her face. That had been the wrong thing to say. I never complained about anything to do with myself. Besides, I was blissfully happy in this house. I would stay in this house and never leave if it meant I could have Bella with me the whole time.

"You can go anywhere you want," she countered.

"The outside world holds no interest for me without you."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious," I told her.

"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right? For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles…"

I groaned. This wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to get her to Florida one way or another. "Never mind," I said. "We'll talk about it later."

"There's nothing left to talk about."

Oh, yes, there was, because I was getting her on that plane if it meant I had to slip her a Mickey and drag her onto the plane unconscious. But I couldn't let on about that, so I shrugged.

"Okay, then, new subject," she said. "What did Alice see today at lunch?"

Damn it! I'd known I couldn't keep her distracted for long. I hated lying to her, but Alice had told me that she would insist on staying if she knew the truth. I couldn't allow that. I would rather she spent all day, every day with Jacob Black the werewolf than stayed in Forks while a sadistic vampire was trying to kill her. Luckily, Alice had told me what to say.

"She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere near the southwest, she thinks, near his former…family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back. It's got her worried."

"Oh," she said simply. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't realize you'd noticed," I lied again. It killed me. "It's probably nothing important, in any case."

We headed downstairs to work on our homework. I finished mine in just a few minutes, but Bella struggled laboriously through her calculus, the one class she had without me, until she decided it was time to make dinner. I helped her a bit, making faces now and then at the raw ingredients. They smelled disgusting. How did humans eat this stuff?

Charlie was in a good mood when he got home. He didn't even go out of his way to be rude to me, like he usually did. And Bella's dinner, one of his favorites, softened him up even further. I excused myself from dinner, as usual, and went into the other room, flipping on the evening news. I didn't watch it. Instead, I listened in on the conversation in the other room, which didn't begin until after Charlie had finished his dinner.

"That was great, Bells," he complimented her.

"I'm glad you liked it. How was work?"

"Sort of slow. Well, dead slow, really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon. I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while."

"How is he?" Bella asked. Charlie wouldn't be able to notice the subtle change in her voice, but I could hear it, and I knew she was in pain.

"Good, good," Charlie answered. "His joints are bothering him a little."

"Oh. That's too bad."

"Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwaters and the Uleys over too. Sort of a playoff party…"

"Huh," was all Bella said.

I heard dishes clattering and walked back into the kitchen. I grabbed a dishtowel and headed to the sink to help Bella with the dishes. Charlie sighed and got up from the table, but I wasn't going to let him go so fast. This might be the way to get Bella on that plane of her own free will. Whenever Charlie didn't want her to do something, it made her want to do it. And I knew Charlie would object to her flying across the country with me.

"Charlie," I said in a conversational tone.

"Yeah?"

"Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renee?"

Bella dropped the plate she was scrubbing on the floor. Her expression was one of mortified shock. The plate didn't break, but it did splatter the room, and all three of us, with soapy water.

"Bella?" he asked, just as stunned as she was. _Why didn't she ever say anything to me about this?_

"Yeah, they did," she answered.

Charlie spoke to me again. "No, she never mentioned it."

"Hmm," was all I said.

Charlie was suspicious now. "Was there a reason you brought it up?"

I shrugged. "They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not that she'd say anything." That _was_ true…

Bella stared at me, her expression still one of shock.

_Hmm, well, it would be a good idea for Bella to see her mom. But it's so far away. But it is her mom. She'll be fine._ "It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella. She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though."

"I forgot," she said.

Charlie frowned. "You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?"

"Mmm," she said, turning back to the dishes.

_Wait a second…_ "I noticed that you said _they're_ about to expire, Edward. How many tickets did your parents give her?"

"Just one for her…and one for me."

Bella dropped another plate, but this time it landed in the sink, so it didn't make as much noise or mess.

Charlie exhaled sharply. He was furious. _That is out of the question. I am _not _letting my daughter fly across the country with this boy. I don't trust him._ "That's out of the question!" he yelled.

"Why?" I asked, trying to keep my tone of voice innocent. "You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother."

Charlie spoke to Bella now. "You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!"

"I'm not a child, Dad," Bella countered immediately. "And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?"

I fought to keep back a smile. My plan had gone off without a hitch.

"Oh, yes you are," Charlie fumed. "Starting now."

"For what?!"

_Because you're not going anywhere outside of this town with Edward. _"Because I said so."

"Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?"

"This is my house—you follow my rules!"

Bella glared at her father. "If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"

Charlie's face turned bright red and his thoughts became incoherent, a mixture of anger and sadness.

Bella took a deep breath. "I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices."

Charlie sputtered, but his words were as incoherent as his thoughts.

"Now, I know that _you_ know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend," she continued. "You can't honestly tell me that you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela."

"Girls," he grunted, nodding.

"Would it bother you if I took Jacob?"

I clenched my teeth.

_Um, well, I don't…I guess not._ "Yes. That would bother me." His voice was unconvincing.

"You're a rotten liar, Dad."

"Bella—" _I don't want you going out of town with Edward._

"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see _Mom_," she told him. "She's just as much my parental authority as you are."

Charlie gave her a look, but his resolve was dissolving rapidly. He was going to give in soon.

"Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?" Bella asked, her tone threatening.

Charlie flinched.

"You'd better hope I don't mention this to her," Bella warned.

"You'd better not," Charlie said, resigned. He knew he was going to lose this argument. "I'm not happy about this, Bella."

"There's no reason for you to be upset."

Charlie rolled his eyes, but Bella's persuasion had worked. He was giving in.

Bella turned and pulled the plug out of the sink. "So, my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded. I'm going out. I'll be back before ten-thirty."

"Where are you going?" he asked, a little furious again. He didn't like the idea of her going anywhere with me, no matter whether it was in this town or not.

"I'm not sure," Bella admitted. "I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?"

Charlie grunted in resignation. He knew he couldn't really do much about it, but he didn't want me alone with her. He thought Bella and I were more physically involved than we actually were, and he didn't want to give us any more opportunity than necessary to be alone together.

"We're going out?" I asked, enthusiastic.

She turned to glare at me. I could tell she wasn't happy with me for bringing up the trip to Florida. "Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you _alone_."

Of course she would have a thing or two to say to me after that. We walked out the door in silence. She didn't speak until we were in my car.

"What was _that_?" Bella demanded.

I'd already come up with a good lie for this. "I know you want to see your mother, Bella—you've been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually." It burned my throat coming out. Why, oh why couldn't I just tell her the truth?

"I have?" she asked, surprised.

I didn't know if I could keep my tone level if I answered the question verbally, so I just nodded. "But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf."

"Interceded? You threw me to the sharks!"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think you were in any danger."

"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie."

"Nobody said that you had to."

She glared at me. "I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that—my natural teenage instincts overpower me."

I chuckled. "Well, that's not my fault." _And my plan worked beautifully._

I stared out the window in silence. I hated lying to her, and I could tell she was suspicious about my reasons for taking her to Florida. She knew me too well. I was a good liar, and I almost had her believing my entire story, but I would have to be very careful not to let anything slip at all, or she would find out everything.

"Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?" she asked suddenly.

I clenched my jaw. I knew that if it were up to her, she would much rather spend the weekend with Jacob and go to that party than come to Florida with me. "Nothing at all. It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going."

I heard her teeth grinding together. I worked to calm myself down. When I was sufficiently calm, I spoke again.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked.

"Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long."

I smiled. Esme would love to see Bella again. "She'll like that. Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend."

Bella groaned, defeated.

My entire family, minus Rosalie, was thrilled to see Bella again under circumstances that didn't involve a discussion about her mortality. The last time she had been here was to make them all vote on whether or not she would become a vampire. She had been placed on house arrest about three hours later.

As I'd predicted, Esme and Carlisle were both thrilled when they heard about my plans to take Bella to Florida for the weekend.

Alice was happy with our plans, too. _Great idea, Edward. But make sure you have plenty of indoor activities planned. There's not going to be a single cloudy day while you're down there._

I smiled at her.

We relaxed for the evening, just enjoying each other's company. I beat Alice at a game of chess we played mostly in our minds. She foresaw the moves I would make and I picked her moves out of her head. It took all of three minutes before Alice knocked over her king and surrendered.

Bella then played a game of chess with Jasper. Since we'd come back to Forks, he'd been a little more comfortable around her. He felt so horrible about what he'd done before that he knew he would never do something like that again. Bella was horrible at chess and Jasper beat her easily.

I dropped Bella back at her house half an hour before her curfew. Charlie was up waiting, of course, but his thoughts were not at all what I expected them to be. I'd expected him to be waiting to ambush Bella some more and to try to talk her out of going to Florida with me. He was resigned on that point. He knew he couldn't win.

No, Charlie's thoughts were somewhere else entirely. He was thinking about Bella's relationship with me. And he was thinking about the reason he didn't want us to be alone together. He was waiting for Bella to get home so he could give her a sex talk. It took all of my energy not to laugh out loud.

"You'd better not come inside," Bella said, nervous. "It will only make things worse."

"His thoughts are relatively calm," I said in a teasing tone. The corners of my mouth twitched as I fought the amused smile that threatened to break free.

"I'll see you later," she muttered.

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back when Charlie's snoring."

Of course, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to listen to this exchange. It was sure to be quite entertaining. I drove up the street and parked the car out of view, then went up in the tree outside Bella's window to listen.

"Did you have a nice time tonight?" Charlie asked. _I'm sure they had a real nice time together._

"Yes," Bella said, her tone hesitant.

"What did you do?" _Do I want to know?_

"Hung out with Alice and Jasper. Edward beat Alice at chess, and then I played Jasper. He buried me."

_That sounds a little too innocent._ Charlie hit the mute button on the TV.

I smiled, amused. Yes, this was going to be very entertaining indeed.

"Look, there's something I need to say," Charlie said, very uncomfortable.

"What is it, Dad?"

_Here goes…_ "I'm not good at this kind of thing. I don't know how to start…Okay, Bella. Here's the thing. You and Edward seem pretty serious, and there are some things that you need to be careful about. I know you're an adult now, but you're still young, Bella, and there are a lot of important things you need to know when you…well, when you're physically involved with—"

"Oh, please, _please_ no!" Bella interrupted. "Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie."

It was very hard to keep my laughter low enough that they couldn't hear. I knew it was wrong to be intruding on their privacy like this, but the entertainment value was worth it.

_This is…uncomfortable._ "I am your father," Charlie said, his tone matching the discomfort in his thoughts. "I have responsibilities. Remember, I'm just as embarrassed as you are." _Probably _more_ embarrassed than you are._

"I don't think that's humanly possible. Anyway, Mom beat you to the punch about ten years ago. You're off the hook."

_Then why am I putting myself and her through this?_ "Ten years ago you didn't have a boyfriend."

"I don't think the essentials have changed that much."

Charlie was now wishing a pit would open in the floor so he could fall in. "Just tell me you two are being responsible," he pled. _Then we can stop having this discussion._

"Don't worry about it, Dad, it's not like that."

No, it wasn't like that, but how I wished it could be! I wanted it, possibly more than I wanted Bella to marry me, but I would never allow myself to take that kind of risk with my love's safety. Not while she was still human.

"Not that I don't trust you, Bella," Charlie said, "but I know you don't want to tell me anything about this, and you know I don't really want to hear it. I will try to be open-minded, though. I know times have changed."

Bella tried to laugh, and the sound was awkward. "Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about."

Charlie sighed. "Sure he is," he grumbled.

"Ugh!" Bella groaned. "I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. _Really._ But…I am a…virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status."

_I don't really believe her, but somehow I doubt if she'd tell me the truth if she was sleeping with Edward. I'll just drop it and hope she doesn't get pregnant any time soon._

I jumped out of the tree. Charlie was done with the embarrassing part of his speech. He was going to talk to Bella about Jacob now. I didn't want to hear it, and I needed to get far enough away so they wouldn't hear my laughter. That had been quite entertaining indeed.

But it had also saddened me. I briefly thought about breaking my rules. I loved Bella. I couldn't hurt her. I could stop myself if I saw that I was. Or could I? No, I couldn't take that kind of risk. It was too hard to keep my focus, even while I was kissing her. How much more difficult would it be if I was having sex with her? Not that I knew from personal experience, but apparently it was a very intense experience and it was very difficult to stop once you started.

No, I couldn't risk it. If I lost my perspective for even a split second, I could crush every bone in her body. I had to be patient. I would get my wish soon enough, when she was less breakable.

Suddenly, my phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. It was Alice.

"Edward, Bella's future just disappeared. I can't see anything. I think she's planning on going to La Push. I can't even see if she'll come back."

"I'll take care of it," I said, and hung up.

I ran back to her truck and opened the hood, taking out one of the parts that it needed to start. Then I went to sit in the passenger seat and stayed perfectly still.

Bella walked out the door a moment later, looking over her shoulder a couple of times as she headed towards the truck. She didn't notice me as she got in and turned the key. But instead of starting, it just clicked. She tried again. I moved ever so slightly, so she would know I was there.

"Gah!" she gasped.

"Alice called," I said, trying not to show my anger in my voice. "She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

Her eyes widened.

"Because she can't see the wolves, you know," I continued. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little…anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs."

I toyed with the piece of engine in my hands as I spoke. "We're not sure why this is," I mused. "Some natural defense they're born with? That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks', at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant, when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them…"

I wanted to scream at her, to yell. But I couldn't. I couldn't hurt her feelings more. I knew how badly she wanted to see her friend. And it took all of my willpower not to put her truck back together right then and let her go. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't take the small risk that she wouldn't come home. What if something she said upset Jacob and he phased involuntarily? She could get hurt, or killed. No, I couldn't allow her to see him, no matter how much it hurt her. It was for her own good.

Bella was silent through my musing, possibly too angry to speak to me as well.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," I told her.

She pursed her lips and yanked her key out of the ignition without a word.

It hurt to see how much I'd upset her. "Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," I said, unable to speak above a whisper.

My pain at causing Bella pain was such that I couldn't concentrate on her brief talk with Charlie. I only heard voices, not words. I stared at Bella's open window, wondering if she would shut it. At first, she did. But then she opened it again. I smiled. I wouldn't have to endure the agony of a night without my love.


	4. 3 Revelations

3. Revelations

"You've been very quiet," I told Bella as I drove us home from the airport that Sunday night. "Did the plane make you sick?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sad to leave?"

"More relieved than sad, I think."

What? Bella had loved being with her mother for the weekend. I raised an eyebrow at her, curious.

"Renee is so much more…_perceptive_ than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy."

I laughed. Renee had been _very_ observant of our relationship. She saw the intensity of my feelings for Bella within the first half hour we were there. It _was_ a little unnerving. "Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people."

I was glad we'd gone to Jacksonville, and not just because I'd successfully gotten Bella out of the path of Victoria. Bella had had a great time with her mother and Phil. Though she'd protested some more at first, the minute she'd seen her mother waiting for us at the airport, a huge smile had lit up her face. I hadn't seen my angel so happy in a long time. It had been good for her. And Renee had missed Bella terribly. She was beyond thrilled to have us visit for the weekend.

We pulled onto Bella's street and I started listening for Charlie's thoughts. Well, at least he wasn't going to be too difficult with Bella. He'd missed her.

Bella had fallen asleep on our way home. I brushed my fingers against her cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead. I was almost sad to do it. I loved watching her sleep. "We're home, Sleeping Beauty," I said softly. "Time to awake."

It was only then that I heard something else in Charlie's thoughts. Jacob had called, and Charlie was going to insist that Bella call him back. I tried to keep a serene mask on my face, but it didn't quite work.

"How bad?" Bella asked.

"Charlie's not going to be difficult," I told her. "He missed you."

Her eyes narrowed, and I could tell she knew I wasn't telling her everything, but she didn't say anything else. I grabbed her bag from the backseat and walked her inside.

"Welcome home, kid!" Charlie shouted before I'd even shut the door. "How was Jacksonville?"

"Moist," Bella answered. "And buggy."

"So Renee didn't sell you on the University of Florida?"

"She tried. But I'd rather drink water than inhale it."

Charlie turned unwillingly to look at me. "Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes," I answered politely. "Renee was very hospitable."

_I hope she at least made you sleep in separate rooms._ "That's…um, good. Glad you had fun." He turned away from me and grabbed his daughter in a tight hug.

"Impressive," Bella whispered in his ear.

Charlie laughed, a rare sound for him. "I really missed you, Bella. The food around here sucks when you're gone."

"I'll get on it," she promised.

"Would you call Jacob first? He's been bugging me every five minutes since six o'clock this morning. I promised I'd have you call him before you even unpacked."

I stiffened. I'd known this was coming, but it didn't make me any happier about it.

"Jacob wants to talk to me?" Bella asked. She sounded…happy.

"Pretty bad, I'd say. He wouldn't tell me what it was about—just said it was important."

The phone rang again.

"That's him again, I'd bet my next paycheck," Charlie said.

"I got it," Bella said, breaking into a sprint toward the kitchen. She grabbed the phone and turned so she was facing the wall instead of me. "Hello?"

"You're back," Jacob said. I was glad my hearing was good enough to be able to hear what he was saying to her.

"Yes," Bella answered, her voice thick with emotion.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I've been in the house for exactly four seconds and your call interrupted Charlie telling me that you'd called."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Sure. Now, why are you harassing Charlie?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself," Bella said with an edge in her voice. "Go ahead."

"You going to school tomorrow?" Jacob asked after a brief pause.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Just curious."

I wished I could hear Jacob's thoughts to understand why he'd been harassing Charlie just to find out whether Bella would be attending school tomorrow.

"So what did you want to talk about, Jake?" Bella asked after a pause.

"Nothing really, I guess. I…wanted to hear your voice."

I didn't have to read Jacob's thoughts to know he wasn't telling the whole truth, although I was sure he _was_ glad to hear Bella's voice.

"Yeah, I know," Bella said, the sadness back in her voice. "I'm _so_ glad you called me, Jake. I…"

"I have to go."

"What?"

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"But Jake—"

But he'd hung up before Bella had gotten his name out.

"That was short," she muttered. I could hear the disappointment and hurt in her voice. She wanted so much to be able to see Jacob.

I wished that there wasn't a treaty to abide by. I wished I could take her down to La Push right now to see him. I would have no problem with her seeing Jacob, if I could be there, too. But that was out of the question, so her seeing her former best friend was out of the question, too.

"Is everything all right?" I asked, though I knew it wasn't.

She turned to look at me. "I don't know. I wonder what that was about."

"Your guess is probably better than mine," I told her. I tried to smile.

"Mmm," she said as she started gathering ingredients to make Charlie's dinner.

She worked more slowly than normal, trying, I assumed, to figure out what Jacob had wanted. All of a sudden, she dropped the hamburger meat she was holding. I caught it and threw it on the counter, then quickly wrapped my arms around my love, desperate to comfort her.

"What's wrong?" I whispered in her ear.

She just shook her head, a dazed look on her face.

How I wished I could read her thoughts right now! I knew she loved that I couldn't, but it was times like these, when I knew she was worrying about something and wouldn't tell me what, that I wanted so desperately to be able to read her mind.

"Bella?" I asked anxiously after a long pause.

"I think…I think he was checking," she mumbled quietly. "Checking to make sure. That I'm human, I mean."

I stiffened involuntarily and a low hiss escaped my lips.

"We'll have to leave," she whispered, pained. "Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't ever be able to come back."

I tightened my arms around my love, trying to comfort her. "I know," I whispered.

"Ahem," Charlie cleared his throat. _Get your filthy hands off my daughter._

Bella jumped and broke free of my embrace. I leaned against the counter and tried to look casual.

"If you don't want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza," Charlie hinted. _At least get out of the house if you're going to do that. Please. I really don't want to hear it._

I fought to keep back a smile.

"No, that's okay," Bella answered. "I'm already started."

"Okay," Charlie said, and propped himself against the doorframe to watch us.

Bella sighed as she got to work on dinner.

"If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?" I asked Bella as we drove up to school the next day. Jacob was waiting to talk to me there. Bella had been wrong. He hadn't been checking to see if she was human. He really wanted to talk to _me_, and he knew that I would be where Bella was.

"That depends," she answered.

"I was afraid you would say that," I said as I pulled into the parking lot.

"What do you want me to do, Edward?" she asked, suspicious.

"I want you to stay in the car," I told her. "I want you to wait here until I come back for you."

"But…_why?_" she asked.

Then she saw him. A look of pain crossed her face.

"Oh," she said.

"You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night," I told her. "He asked about school because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me. A place with witnesses."

"I'm not staying in the car," she told me.

I groaned. I'd known she wouldn't. She wanted to see Jacob way too much to do what I asked. "Of course not," I muttered. "Well, let's get this over with."

Jacob's face got harder—if that was possible—as he saw us walk toward him, hand in hand. He was jealous of me, I knew. I stopped a few yards away from him and tried to shield Bella in case he phased. I didn't like having her so close to a werewolf, whether he was her friend or not. I pulled her partially behind my body, but I didn't have the heart to completely block her view of him.

He was here because the pack had accused Emmett of crossing the boundary line on Saturday night. Victoria was there, and both my family and the wolves had been trying to catch her, but she seemed to know exactly where the line was. Emmett had actually been in no-man's land, but the wolves accused him of crossing the line. And Jacob was here to warn us that if we crossed the line again, it would start a war.

"You could have called us," I told him in a hard voice.

"Sorry," he spat. "I don't have any leeches on my speed dial."

"You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course."

Jacob clenched his jaw. _Even while she was grounded, she was still allowed to see the bloodsucker. And Charlie doesn't even _like_ him. How is that fair?_

"This is hardly the place, Jacob," I told him, desperate to get this conversation over with.

"Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school," Jacob said, his voice as hard as mine. "What's wrong with now?"

I glanced at the humans around us, humans who had no idea that vampires and werewolves even existed. These people were hesitating on the sidewalk, watching our conversation with intent interest.

"I already know what you came to say," I told him in a low but threatening voice. "Message delivered. Consider us warned."

I glanced down at my love, who was clinging to me with all of her strength.

"Warned?" she asked, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't tell her?" Jacob asked. "What, were you afraid she'd take our side?" _Payback time, bloodsucker._

"Please drop it, Jacob," I begged in the most even voice I could manage. I didn't want Bella to know anything about this.

_Not a chance. _"Why?"

Bella frowned, confused. "What don't I know? Edward?"

I glared at Jacob, unwilling to answer her question. I could have killed him for bringing it up.

"Jake?" she asked.

Jacob turned to look at his friend for the first time since we'd been talking. He raised an eyebrow at her. "He didn't tell you that his big…_brother_ crossed the line Saturday night?" His eyes flickered back to me. _Yeah, I told her. What are you going to do about it?_ "Paul was totally justified in—"

"It was no-man's land," I hissed, furious.

"Was not!"

"Emmett and Paul?" Bella whispered. "What happened? Were they fighting? Why? Did Paul get hurt?"

I looked down at Bella. "No one fought. No one got hurt. Don't be anxious."

Jacob stared at us, not believing what he was hearing. Major _payback time. _"You didn't tell her anything at all, did you? Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that—?"

"Leave now," I cut him off before he could tell Bella why I had taken her to Florida.

Jacob raised his eyebrows. _Not a chance, bloodsucker._ "Why haven't you told her?"

We glared at each other for a long minute. Too long. Bella was suddenly trembling violently at my side, gasping for breath. She knew.

"She came back for me," Bella choked out.

I held my angel tightly, angling my body so I was between her and Jacob, and stroked her face, trying to soothe her. _This_ was why I hadn't wanted to tell her, besides the fact that Alice had told me not to. "It's fine," I whispered. "It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine." Then I turned to glare at the dog. "Does that answer your question, mongrel?"

"You don't think Bella has a right to know? It's her life." _Ha! How swiftly the mighty fall._

"Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?" I said in a voice so low anyone besides the three of us wouldn't have a prayer of hearing.

"Better frightened than lied to," Jacob challenged.

Bella was crying now, scared for her life. I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my fingers.

"Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?" I murmured, still looking at my love.

"She's tougher than you think," Jacob retorted. "And she's been through worse."

Suddenly, I saw an image in Jacob's mind. It was Bella, or at least I thought it was. I couldn't be sure. I barely recognized her. Her face was twisted with grief, her eyes red. She was lying on the forest floor, shuddering and crying. _This is what she looked like when Sam found her in the forest the night you left,_ Jacob thought.

I cringed. This was worse than any agony I'd been in before, even while I was away. I couldn't bear to see what I'd done to my sweet angel. How had I ever left her?

"That's funny," Jacob said, laughing at me, mocking my pain.

Bella glanced between us, her expression one of wide-eyed horror. I could tell she didn't understand my expression.

"What are you doing to him?" she asked Jacob.

"It's nothing, Bella," I managed to whisper. "Jacob just has a good memory, that's all."

Jacob grinned. Another image of Bella during the time I was gone came to his mind. _This is what she looked like the first day she came to my house._ Her face was blank, emotionless. She didn't even look human. She looked like a zombie. There was no life in her at all. There was nothing. Then, another image floated up. Bella was wincing, wrapping her arms around herself. It looked like she was trying to hold all of her organs inside her body. _She used to do this all the time, whenever she thought about you._

I winced again. I couldn't take this. I would never leave my love again. I tightened my hold on her ever so slightly, making sure that she was still here with me now.

"Stop it!" Bella shrieked. "Whatever you're doing."

"Sure, if you want," Jacob said, and the image faded from his mind. _I hope you got a good look, bloodsucker. I hope you saw what you did to her._ "It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though."

Bella glared at Jacob. She didn't like seeing me in pain.

"The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property," I said. "Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved."

"Overprotective, isn't he?" Jacob taunted Bella. "A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?"

I glowered at Jacob, baring my teeth ever so slightly.

"Shut up, Jake," Bella said, annoyed now.

Jacob laughed. "That sounds like a _no_. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

"You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would."

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back." He tried to smile at his friend, but it didn't work. He missed her.

"Jake…" Bella began. She was in pain. She wanted so much to go to La Push and spend time with Jacob.

I wished I could let her, but it was definitely out of the question now, after that dog had put me through such agony. I was not about to give him what I knew he wanted most, which also happened to be the most precious thing in the world to me. But it was hurting Bella so much.

Jacob leaned in toward Bella. "I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

I kept my arms around Bella, restraining her now so she didn't move any closer to Jacob. But I kept a calm look on my face as she looked up at me.

"I, er, don't know about that, Jake," she said, her pain evident in her voice.

Jacob's face became warm as he looked at his best friend. "I miss you every day, Bella," he told her. "It's not the same without you."

Bella's voice was still pained as she spoke. "I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just…"

_Of course he won't let her see me._ He shook his head and sighed. His thoughts were pained. Good. He was getting a taste of his own medicine. "I know," he told Bella. "Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?" He grimaced. _It feels like part of me is gone without you, Bella. Please come back. Please._

I tightened my grip on Bella.

"Okay, get to class," Mr. Greene said as he walked out into the parking lot. "Move along, Mr. Crowley."

I released Bella, keeping only her hand, and pulled her behind my body again.

"Get to school, Jake," Bella whispered.

"I mean it," Mr. Greene threatened. "Detention for anyone who's still standing here when I turn around again." He saw me, and headed in my direction. "Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here?"

"Not at all, Mr. Greene," I tried to make my voice reassuring. "We were just on our way to class."

"Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend." He turned to Jacob. "Are you a new student here?" He scrutinized Jacob, and he sensed a threat.

"Nope," Jacob said with an arrogant smirk.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself from school property at once, young man, before I call the police."

Jacob grinned, imagining Charlie showing up to arrest him. Of course he could get out of any trouble he had with the law. Charlie loved Jacob. "Yes, sir," Jacob said, snapping a military salute. He got on his motorcycle and rode away.

"Mr. Cullen, I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again," Mr. Greene told me.

"He's no friend of mine, Mr. Greene, but I'll pass along the warning."

Mr. Greene pursed his lips. My spotless record and perfect grades were definitely weighing things in my favor with him. "I see," he said. "If you're worried about any trouble, I'd be happy to—"

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Greene," I assured him. "There won't be any trouble."

"I hope that's correct. Well, then. On to class. You, too, Miss Swan."

I nodded and pulled Bella toward the English building. Once we were past the principal, I worried that Bella might be feeling ill. She had a weak stomach, and this had been a _very_ eventful morning. Besides, I was sure she would want to talk to me, after Jacob had told her about Victoria. "Do you feel well enough to go to class?" I asked her.

"Yes," she whispered.

We got to class late and took our seats quickly. Mr. Berty didn't acknowledge our entrance at all. He was reciting a Frost poem and refused to let us break his rhythm.

As soon as we were seated, Bella yanked a blank sheet of paper out of her notebook and began scribbling furiously.

**What happened? Tell me everything. And screw the protecting me crap, please.**

I sighed. I guessed there was no way around it. I cursed Jacob silently as I took the paper from her and wrote down my explanation.

_Alice saw that Victoria was coming back. I took you out of town merely as a precaution—there was never a chance that she would have gotten anywhere close to you. Emmett and Jasper very nearly had her, but Victoria seems to have some instinct for evasion. She escaped right down the Quileute boundary line as if she were reading it from a map. It didn't help that Alice's abilities were nullified by the Quileutes' involvement. To be fair, the Quileutes might have had her, too, if we hadn't gotten in the way. The big gray one thought Emmett was over the line, and he got defensive. Of course Rosalie reacted to that, and everyone left the chase to protect their companions. Carlisle and Jasper got things calmed down before it got out of hand. But by then, Victoria had slipped away. That's everything._

Bella frowned, then shuddered. She scrubbed out the paragraph I had just written with her eraser and wrote a new sentence over it.

**What about Charlie? She could have been after him.**

I was shaking my head before she finished writing. I held out my hand, but she ignored me.

**You can't know that she wasn't thinking that, because you weren't here. Florida was a bad idea.**

I agreed with her, to a point, but I was desperate to distract her and get her mind off of Victoria, and Jacob, for that matter.

_I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive._

She cracked a hint of a smile, so I knew my attempt at distraction had worked, at least for the moment.

**So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?**

_Why is the plane crashing?_

I tried to hide a smile as she wrote.

**The pilots are passed out drunk.**

_Easy. I'd fly the plane._

Apparently that had been too obvious. She was trying to stump me. She pursed her lips as she tried again.

**Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.**

_I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history._

She stared at me, awestruck.

"What?" I whispered.

She shook her head. "Nothing," she mouthed.

She scrubbed out the conversation and wrote one more line.

**You will tell me next time.**

I stared into her eyes, trying to gauge her mood. Her face was whiter than normal, terrified, and her eyelashes were still wet from crying. It probably would have been better if she'd found out from me before than from Jacob after the fact. I sighed and nodded once.

**Thanks.**

Mr. Berty was coming up the aisle, so I quickly grabbed the paper from under Bella's hand. He saw the gesture, but I had hidden it before he could see.

"Is that something you'd like to share there, Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

I held out my notes, a perfect transcription of his lecture. "My notes?" I asked innocently.

Mr. Berty scanned the notes, then walked away, frowning.


	5. 4 Waning

4. Waning

Of course, after Bella found out that Victoria had come back for her, she had tried to convince my family yet again to change her before graduation. But, thankfully, everyone had agreed with me on this point. No one was going to change Bella until she was one hundred percent ready, and especially not while she felt threatened.

"There are seven of us, Bella," Carlisle had told her. "And with Alice on our side, I don't think Victoria is going to catch us off guard. I think it's important, for Charlie's sake, that we stick with the original plan."

Esme had said, "We'd never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart. You know that. Please don't be anxious." And then she'd kissed Bella's forehead.

Emmett was the funnyman, as always. "I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around."

Rosalie had glared at him.

"I'm offended," Alice had said, rolling her eyes. "You're not honestly _worried_ about this, are you?"

"If it's no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?" Bella had demanded.

"Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?"

Jasper had used his gift of controlling emotions to calm Bella down and she had let us talk her out of her pleas for the moment.

I knew my response had frustrated her the most, and that was my intention. "That's between you and Carlisle," I'd told her. "Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it between you and me at any time you wish. You know my condition." And then I'd pulled out the crooked smile she loved.

Emmett and Jasper wanted to go hunting this weekend, and Bella had encouraged me to go with them. Alice was staying close to home to hunt, so she was going to keep an eye on Bella for me. She hadn't foreseen anything out of the ordinary, but I knew Bella might try to make a run to La Push if I didn't keep her under surveillance.

"Relax, Edward. Nothing will happen to her," Alice told me.

"I know. It's just…it's hard for me to be away from her."

"It's okay, Edward. She'll be fine. Don't you trust me to take care of her for you?"

"Of course I do, Alice."

"Then go hunt. It won't help Bella if you're suffering more than necessary just because you refuse to feed yourself."

She had a point.

I knew Bella was scared about Victoria and that this week hadn't been the best of her life, and it pained me to leave her when she was already having a bad week. But she'd all but kicked me out the door when I told her about Emmett and Jasper's plans.

"Go have fun," she'd told me. "Bag a few mountain lions for me."

I knew she was just putting on a brave face. I knew it terrified her to be away from me, that it brought back memories of the time when I had left her for much longer, not intending to come back. But of course she would never admit that to me.

It was just as difficult for me, if not more difficult. It was boring to hunt the small, easy prey in town, but at least it allowed me to be close to my love. I was planning on being gone all day, and into the night. An entire twenty-four hours without her was almost more than I could bear to think about. The note I'd left on her pillow was to reassure myself as much as her.

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart—I've left it with you.

And I left with Jasper and Emmett. I promised them I'd try to be in a good mood, but I was checking my phone every fifteen minutes to see if there had been any word from Alice about Bella.

Sure enough, about five hours into our trip, my phone rang. It was Alice.

"Edward, Bella disappeared again. The decision was so fast I didn't have time to stop her. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Alice," I reassured her. "I'm on my way."

I made my apologies to Emmett and Jasper and left, speeding back toward Forks as fast as my car would go. I parked just out of view right on the Quileute boundary line. It took every ounce of strength I had not to break the treaty and go after her. I had to let myself believe that she'd be okay. I had to let myself believe that Jacob wouldn't hurt her.

As I waited, I thought. Bella cared about Jacob. Was she in love with him? I knew she loved me. There wasn't any doubt in my mind about that. But Jacob had stitched her back together after I'd left. That was bound to leave its mark on her. And on him. I couldn't help but wonder what she would do if he tried to take the relationship further. Would she leave me? He was certainly better suited for her in a lot of ways. She wouldn't have to change to be with him.

And then I rethought everything. I was disgusted with myself for doubting Bella's affection for me. I knew how deep the bond between us went. Jacob was her friend, nothing more. And she cared about him. She saw how he was hurting and she wanted to help him. Maybe I should be more lenient with her about him. If she came back safely today, I'd consider it. But what guarantee had I that she would? I was furious with her for ignoring my wishes and coming here today. I didn't even know if she'd come back. How could she do this to me? No, I couldn't let her visit him again.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her truck come back over the boundary line. I started to follow her immediately. I saw her look in the rearview mirror and I saw the look of panic on her face. I knew she probably wouldn't pull over so I could chastise her right then. She would want Charlie as a buffer, to force me to keep myself under control. It was probably the smarter thing for me to wait until then. I was furious, but I needed to keep my temper in check.

She pulled into Angela Weber's driveway, and I drove past the house. I parked out of sight nearby, then ran back to the house to keep an ear out for Bella.

"Thank you for doing this, Bella," Angela said. "From the bottom of my heart. Not only are you saving my hands from permanent injury, you also just spared me two long hours of a plot-less, badly dubbed martial arts film." She sighed.

"Happy to be of service," Bella said. "Where's your family?"

"My parents took the twins to a birthday party in Port Angeles. I can't believe you're really going to help me with this. Ben's pretending he has tendonitis."

"I don't mind at all," Bella assured her. "Oh!"

I risked a peek in Angela's window. There were two huge stacks of envelopes waiting to be addressed. I sighed. Bella would be here for a while.

"I thought you were exaggerating," Bella said.

"I wish. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Put me to work. I've got all day."

I wished she hadn't said that. I wanted to speak with Bella, to tell her how furious I was with her, and I wanted to do it _now_. I didn't want Bella to take all day.

Angela and Bella worked in silence for a few minutes before Angela spoke.

"What's Edward doing tonight?"

What was I doing tonight? I was having a long talk with Bella about werewolves. That's what I was doing.

"Emmett's home for the weekend. They're _supposed _to be hiking."

"You say that like you're not sure. You're lucky Edward has his brothers for all the hiking and camping. I don't know what I'd do if Ben didn't have Austin for the guy stuff."

"Yeah, the outdoors thing is not really for me. And there's no way I'd ever be able to keep up."

The outdoors thing seemed to be for her when she was with Jacob. She rode motorcycles, she went cliff diving, she went hiking. But only with Jacob. Not with me.

Angela laughed. "I prefer the indoors myself."

They worked in silence for a few more minutes.

"Is something wrong?" Angela asked suddenly. "You seem…anxious."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really." _Yeah, it kind of is._ "You don't have to talk about it unless you want to. I'll listen if you think it will help."

I smiled. Angela really was a good friend to Bella. Much better than Jessica.

When Bella didn't respond, Angela got nervous. "I'll mind my own business."

"No, you're right. I am anxious. It's…it's Edward."

I snorted quietly. She had good reason to be anxious about me right now. Not that I would actually hurt her, but she knew that what was waiting for her at home was not going to be pleasant.

"What's wrong?" Angela asked, genuinely concerned.

"Oh, he's mad at me."

"That's hard to imagine," Angela said. _He always looks at her like…like she's the only person in the world. He loves her so much. What could he possibly be mad at her about?_ "What's he mad about?"

Bella sighed. "Do you remember Jacob Black?"

I tensed. Surely she knew better than to tell Angela about vampires and werewolves.

"Ah," Angela said.

"Yeah."

"He's jealous."

"No, not _jealous_…Edward thinks Jacob is…a bad influence, I guess. Sort of…dangerous. You know how much trouble I got in a few months back…It's all ridiculous, though."

_No, that can't be the real reason. He's jealous._

Apparently Angela made some sort of face.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Bella, I've seen how Jacob Black looks at you. I'd bet the real problem is jealousy."

"It's not like that with Jacob," Bella said instantly.

"For you, maybe. But for Jacob…"

"Jacob knows how I feel. I've told him everything."

"Edward's only human, Bella. He's going to react like any other boy. He'll get over it," Angela assured Bella.

"I hope so. Jake's going through kind of a tough time right now. He needs me."

"You and Jacob are pretty close, aren't you?"

"Like family."

"And Edward doesn't like him…That must be hard. I wonder how Ben would handle that?"

"Probably just like any other boy," Bella said with a small laugh.

"Probably."

Angela's assessment caught me off-guard. I'd been so concerned with Bella's safety that I hadn't even stopped to examine my personal feelings about Jacob. _Was_ I jealous? I knew, logically, that this made no sense. I knew Bella loved me, and she'd just told Angela that she didn't think of Jacob romantically. But, although I wasn't actually human, I did have human instincts. I had experienced jealousy over Bella before, and then it had been directed at someone that Bella didn't even particularly like. Maybe I was jealous because Bella now wanted to spend some of her time with another boy. It wasn't logical, but was love ever logical?

Angela changed the subject. "I got my dorm assignment yesterday. The farthest building from campus, naturally."

"Does Ben know where he's staying yet?"

"The closest dorm to campus. He's got all the luck. How about you? Did you decide where you're going?"

There was a short pause before Bella answered. "Alaska , I think. The university there in Juneau."

"Alaska?" Angela sounded surprised. "Oh. Really? I mean, that's great. I just figured you'd go somewhere…warmer." _It's so far away, and Bella's one of my best friends. I'll miss her._

Bella laughed a shaky laugh. "Yeah. Forks has really changed my perspective on life."

"And Edward?"

"Alaska's not too cold for Edward, either."

_I'm glad they're going to college together. I swear they were made for each other._ "Of course not."

I smiled, forgetting for a moment that I was furious with Bella. We _were_ made for each other.

Angela sighed after a short pause. "It's so far. You won't be able to come home very often. I'll miss you. Will you e-mail me?"

"If I can type again after this."

They both laughed.

Satisfied that Bella was safe, I went to get my car and take it back home. Then I ran to Bella's house and climbed in her window to wait for her.

A couple of hours later, I heard the door open.

"Bella?" Charlie called.

"Hey, Dad."

"So, how was your day?"

"Good. They didn't need me at work, so I went down to La Push."

Charlie's excitement was wordless. He was glad Bella had finally seen Jacob. "How's Jacob?" he asked, trying to sound indifferent.

"Good."

"You get over to the Webers'?"

"Yep. We got all her announcements addressed."

"That's nice. I'm glad you spent some time with your friends today."

"Me, too."

A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps nearing the stairs.

"I'm going to go study," Bella told Charlie.

"See you later," Charlie said. _Sure, she's going to go study…anatomy._

I couldn't help myself. I snorted.

The bedroom door opened, then closed. I just glared at her for a few long moments.

"Hi," she finally said, the nervousness breaking through in her voice.

A growl started to rumble in my chest, but I didn't speak or move.

"Er…so, I'm still alive."

The growl got more pronounced. I was furious with her.

"No harm done."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers, trying to calm myself so I could speak. "Bella," I managed to whisper, "do you have _any_ idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?"

She gasped. "You can't!" she said, a little too loudly. After a moment, she continued in a much lower volume. "Edward, they'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can't ever break the rules!"

You_ broke _my _rules._ "Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight."

"Don't you start," she snapped at me. "You made the treaty—you stick to it."

"If he'd hurt you—"

"Enough!" she said, cutting me off. "There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous."

"Bella," I said, rolling my eyes. "You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous."

"I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you."

I clenched my jaw and balled my hands into fists at my sides. She took a deep breath and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I wanted to return the gesture, but I was furious with her. I couldn't.

"I'm sorry I made you anxious," she murmured.

That was all it took. I was putty in her hands. Most of my anger dissolved. Bella was okay, and she was here with me now. I sighed and wound my arms around her waist as I spoke. "_Anxious_ is a bit of an understatement. It was a very long day."

"You weren't supposed to know about it. I thought you'd be hunting longer."

She looked up at my still-black eyes and frowned.

"When Alice saw you disappear, I came back," I told her.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now you'll have to go away again." Her frown intensified.

"I can wait."

"That's ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob, but you should have known—"

"But I didn't," I interrupted her. "And you can't expect me to let you—"

"Oh, yes, I can. That's exactly what I expect—"

"This won't happen again."

"That's right! Because you're not going to overreact next time."

"Because there isn't going to be a next time." I knew the words were a lie almost as soon as I'd spoken them. My resolve to keep her away from Jacob was weakening every day, and I couldn't let this drive a wedge between us. If she needed to see Jacob to be happy, I would have to deal with that and trust that he wouldn't hurt her.

"I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it—" Bella protested.

My defenses were back up. "That's not the same. I'm not risking my life."

"Neither am I."

"Werewolves constitute a risk."

"I disagree."

"I'm not negotiating this, Bella." Actually, I was pretty sure it _would_ be up for negotiation soon, but I had to think about it some more first.

"Neither am I."

I balled my hands into fists again, but it wasn't in anger at her. It was in frustration and indecision. On the one hand, I wanted to keep Bella safe, and I didn't trust the werewolves. On the other, Jacob was her friend, and, if I would admit it, I knew he wouldn't hurt her. I didn't know what to do.

"Is this really just about my safety?" Bella asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"You aren't…I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?"

Angela's explanation flooded back to me, and it made more sense now even than it had before. I raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"

"Be serious."

"Easily—there's nothing remotely humorous about this."

She frowned. "Or…is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled—"

"This is _only _about you," I said instantly, although I doubted the words even as I spoke them. "All I care about is that you're safe."

"Okay," she sighed. "I believe that. But I want you to know something—when it comes to all this _enemies_ nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but my resolve was dissolving rapidly with each passing second.

"Switzerland," she repeated.

I frowned at her and then sighed. I was giving in, at least for now. I didn't have the strength to be angry at her anymore, so relieved was I that she was safe. "Bella…" I said, wrinkling my nose.

"What now?"

"Well…don't be offended, but you smell like a dog." I smiled her favorite crooked smile and tightened my arms around her.


	6. 5 Surrender

5. Surrender

Of course, since I'd come home before I'd had a chance to hunt, I had to leave again for a few days. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle were coming with me to a reserve in northern California that had a mountain lion problem.

I knew Bella had called Jacob and made plans to see him again while I was gone. I was almost ready to give in and let her go, but not quite, and not while I was gone.

So, I bought a bed to put in my room and had Alice keep Bella over for a slumber party while I was gone. And I bribed her to do a good job: I bought her the yellow Porsche, exactly like the one she stole in Italy. It terrified me to be away from Bella, and I wanted to know for sure that she would be safe.

I brought my phone with me, but I kept it off, determined to actually hunt while I was away this time. I was much better company without the constant worry of my phone. And, this time, I did catch some mountain lions.

I decided to talk to Carlisle about my situation with Bella and Jacob. I was still so torn, and I didn't know what the right thing to do was. I had a feeling I knew what he would say, and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it, but I knew Carlisle would guide me on the right path as he had so many times in the past.

"Carlisle," I said on our final afternoon while we were watching Emmett wrestle with a grizzly bear, "I need your advice."

"Something to do with Bella, I assume."

I chuckled. What else would it be? "Naturally."

"What is it?"

"Well, while I was gone, she bonded with Jacob Black, the werewolf. He protected her, kept her alive when I didn't. And he helped her to heal a little bit from the wound I'd left her with. Bella's already left once to go see him. Alice can't see the wolves, you know, and I went crazy worrying about whether she'd come back. I came very close to crossing the boundary line and going after her when I found out."

"Edward, you know you can't do that."

"I know, Carlisle, but werewolves are dangerous. Jacob could lose control at any second and accidentally hurt or even kill Bella. I can't bear the thought of it."

"I get the feeling there's more to this than you're letting on, Edward. If you really think about it, I think you'll realize that Jacob wouldn't hurt Bella. He's a good kid, and he's her best friend."

"I know that. I don't know what to do, Carlisle. I worry about her every second that I'm not with her. I'm worried about her even now, even though I know she's safe with Alice and Esme and Rose. And I can't stand not knowing if she'll come back or not. But it's hurting her so much. Every time she sees him or even thinks about him, I can tell how much pain she's in."

"I think you might be a little jealous."

I snorted. So now Carlisle was taking the jealousy route, too. "You're not the first one to suggest that. Angela Weber seems to think so, too. Not that she knows about the vampire/werewolf bit. And Bella even asked me if I was jealous."

"Be honest with yourself, Edward. Are you?"

"I don't know."

"Edward, there's no shame in it. It's a perfectly natural reaction. You love Bella, more than you love anyone else on this planet. There's no shame in admitting that it hurts you that there's another man…er, boy, that she wants to spend time with now."

"But I know better than to think that he's a threat to me. Bella thinks of him as family, not as a romantic interest."

"How does Jacob see Bella?"

"He loves her, as a friend, I think. I don't know. It's difficult to tell. He's very intense about her, and the pain I read in his thoughts whenever he thinks about Bella makes it very hard to see what his feelings about her are."

"Look, Edward, I know this isn't going to be easy for you to hear, but I think you need to let up on Bella a little bit. I know you're just looking out for her safety, but you're going to push her away if you keep her smothered like this."

"But, Carlisle—"

"Listen, you know none of us, not even Rosalie, would let anything happen to Bella. And with Alice watching her, we'll be warned of any potential threats."

"Not if the Quileutes are involved."

"Edward, I really don't think the werewolves pose a threat to us or to Bella. She spent most of her time in La Push while you were away, and the only time she ever got hurt was when she acted foolishly on her own."

I sighed. He was right.

"And there's no reason at all for you to be jealous. I can see how Bella looks at you. There will never be any competition in her mind. But you have to realize that she has other friends now. Friends that were there for her when you weren't. Friends that helped to stitch her back up again when you left her cut open and bleeding. Jacob was one of those friends. It was your choice that caused her to form a friendship with Jacob, and you're going to have to live with that."

"You're right."

"Look, even if she does go down to La Push while we're here, don't be angry with her about it. It will only drive a wedge between you, and I know you don't want that."

I sighed again. I guessed it was time for me to give in. "No, I don't. Thanks, Carlisle."

"You're welcome, son. Anytime." He left to pounce on an elk nearby.

Later on that night, I heard the sound of a sports car racing up to where we were. I turned to look. It was a yellow Porsche. Alice jumped out and raced to me as fast as her feet could carry her. My first reaction was anger, because she wasn't watching out for Bella like she'd promised, but then I realized that Esme and Rosalie were still at home and that Alice wouldn't be here unless there was something really wrong.

"Alice?" I asked, my anxiety coming through in my voice. "What's wrong? Is Bella all right?"

"Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No. She needs you, Edward. Badly. Please come back with me."

"What happened?" I asked. I tried to think of what could have possibly happened that would upset Bella to the point that Alice would drive all the way out here to bring me back home.

"I'll tell you in the car. Let's go."

"Let me just find someone and tell them what's going on."

"Already taken care of. I called Jazz on the way here. Come on," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the still-running car.

When we got in the car, she started talking. "Okay, Edward, please don't be mad at me. I couldn't stop it. Jacob came to the school today and Bella left with him. I went crazy worrying about her all day, but I was fairly confident that she would be all right, so I didn't call you. But then she rode her motorcycle into the garage this afternoon and, Edward, I think the only time I've ever seen her in more pain is while we were gone. She wouldn't talk about it. She just ran upstairs, took a shower, and went in your room. I left as soon as she was in your room for the night. I think you're the only one who will be able to comfort her."

I sighed. Her motorcycle. Even though I'd decided to let up on Bella about Jacob, it didn't mean I liked the idea of her on a motorcycle.

"By the way, you might want to check your phone messages."

"What?"

"You'll see why. Just so you're prepared for any possible reaction."

I turned my phone on and called the voice mail. There was one unheard message and it was from Bella. "You are in trouble," she said slowly, her voice full of anger. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home."

I had to laugh. Bella threatening violence was hilarious. But she was right to be angry. I had acted just a little bit mental, having Alice hold her hostage.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I wish I could have stopped her. But please don't get angry with her. Jacob hurt her pretty badly."

"I'm not mad at her, Alice, and I'm not mad at you, either. I had a talk with Carlisle this afternoon, and I've decided that I need to let up on Bella. Jacob is her friend, and if she says he's not dangerous, I'm going to believe her. It's hurting her, keeping her away from him, and it's driving a wedge between us. And I think the problem was more about my jealousy and my prejudice against werewolves than anything else."

"So does this mean I get to keep my Porsche?" she asked playfully.

I laughed. "Of course. It was a gift."

It was early in the morning when we got back. I saw Bella's motorcycle parked in the garage and I scowled. If she was going to keep riding that thing, I would definitely at least insist that she wear a helmet and a riding jacket. No, I would go one better. If she was going to ride her bike, I would go with her. I'd buy myself a motorcycle and go riding with her. Then I'd be able to save her if she started to crash or started going too fast.

When we got in the house, Rosalie was thinking about a conversation she'd had with Bella. She'd told her story, using a little more detail than I would have liked, and given Bella the reasons why she thought she should stay human. Maybe it would help stall Bella a little bit, give her something to think about. But coming from Rosalie…I worried that it might have been too much for Bella to handle.

Alice saw my first plan almost before I'd thought of it. _Go on upstairs, Edward. I'll get everyone out and give you some privacy._

"Oh, great," I whispered, nervous. I was embarrassed that Alice had seen it, and I didn't know if I'd be able to follow through.

_Be careful._

"I…I don't know if I can do this."

_I wouldn't be encouraging it if I didn't have faith in you. You can control yourself, and you'll do the right thing, whatever the right thing ends up being. You haven't decided everything. Go on. She needs you._

I smiled nervously and went up to my bedroom. I saw my angel curled up on my couch and snorted silently. Of course she wouldn't have actually _used_ the bed I had bought for her. Her face was still red from crying. I wanted to kill Jacob Black for hurting her. I lifted her gently off the couch, trying not to wake her, and laid her on the bed, then lay down beside her. Whether it was from the movement or the temperature of my skin, I couldn't tell, but she stirred and opened her eyes.

"Sorry," I murmured quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She tensed at first, but then relaxed. She reached out in the darkness and found my hands. She grasped them as she pulled herself closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as her mouth searched along my throat, up to my chin, until she found my lips. I kissed her softly for a moment, then chuckled quietly.

"I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often."

"Give me a minute to work up to it," she said, kissing me again.

I knotted my fingers in her hair as I whispered against her lips. "I'll wait as long as you want."

"Maybe in the morning."

"Whatever you prefer."

I moved my mouth down her chin and pressed my lips under her jaw.

"Welcome home," she said. "I'm glad you came back."

"That's a very good thing," I agreed.

"Mmm," she murmured, tightening her arms around my neck.

I hesitated for a moment before I continued, making sure I was in complete control of myself. If I was very gentle with her, this might work. I ran my hand down her arm, around her elbow, across her ribs, over her waist, tracing down her leg and around her knee. I hesitated, curling my hand around her calf. Could I really do this? Could I not hurt her? I felt fine. Completely in control. I quickly pulled her leg up, hitching it around my hip.

My lips moved against her throat. "Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?"

Before she could answer, I rolled to the side, pulling her on top of me. I angled her face so I could reach her throat, and I kissed it softly but firmly. The sound of her hammering heart and her loud breathing was disrupting my concentration. I didn't know if I could do this, but I would try.

"The bed?" I asked again. "_I_ think it's nice."

"It's unnecessary," she gasped.

I pulled her face back down, kissing her softly, but very intensely. Slowly this time, I rolled over again, until I hovered over her. I supported my weight very carefully, making sure she didn't feel any pressure, but that she felt my body press against hers.

I laughed quietly. "That's debatable," I said. "This would be difficult on a couch."

I lightly traced the shape of her lips with my tongue. My head was spinning. I couldn't do this. I couldn't keep up my concentration.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked, breathless.

I sighed. Well, I _had_ at first, but then I had changed it again. But I wasn't going to tell her that. I knew what she would say. So I told a half-truth. "Don't be ridiculous, Bella," I said in a disapproving tone as I rolled back on my side. "I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like. Don't get carried away."

"Too late," she muttered, disappointed. "And I like the bed."

"Good," I said, kissing her forehead. "I do, too."

"But I still think it's unnecessary. If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?"

I sighed. I had wanted to. I had come very close to it just now. But it was too dangerous. "For the hundredth time, Bella—it's too dangerous."

"I like danger," she insisted.

Of course she did. She had ridden her motorcycle here all the way from La Push. "I know," I said, unable to keep the sour edge out of my voice completely.

"I'll tell you what's dangerous. I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days—and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

Unwillingly, I pushed her away.

"What are you doing?" she objected, clinging to me.

"Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you…"

"I can handle it," she insisted.

I wrapped my arms around her again and held her close. Then I remembered why I was here. I shouldn't have done that, when I wasn't sure if I'd be able to follow through. I'd made her unhappy again, when I was supposed to be trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression," I told her. "I didn't mean to make you unhappy. That wasn't nice."

"Actually, it was very, very nice."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself so I wouldn't try again. "Aren't you tired? I should let you sleep."

"No, I'm not. I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again."

I smiled. "That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away."

"Yes, I am," she grumbled.

I chuckled. "You have no idea, Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

"Can _I_ apologize?"

"For what?"

"You were angry with me, remember?"

"Oh, that."

"I'm sorry," I told her sincerely. "I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely _here_." I tightened my arms around her for emphasis. "I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it."

"Didn't you find any mountain lions?"

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea."

"Yes," she agreed.

"I won't do it again."

"Okay. But slumber parties do have their advantages…" she said, pulling herself closer to me and kissing my shoulder. "_You_ can hold me hostage any time you want."

"Mmm," I sighed, totally content. "I may take you up on that."

"So is it my turn now?"

"Your turn?" I asked, pretending to be confused. I knew she was about to apologize for going to La Push.

"To apologize."

"What do you have to apologize for?" I kept the same confused tone in my voice.

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"No." How could I be mad at her when she was in pain?

"Didn't you see Alice when you got home?"

Of course I had. She was the one who brought me here. But I decided not to add in that detail. "Yes—why?"

"Are you going to take her Porsche back?"

"Of course not. It was a gift."

"Don't you want to know what I did?"

I already knew what she'd done. And I didn't care. "I'm always interested in everything you do—but you don't have to tell me unless you want to."

"But I went to La Push."

"I know."

"And I ditched school."

"So did I."

She stared in my direction, tracing the lines of my face with her fingers. "Where did all this tolerance come from?" she asked.

I sighed. "I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my…" _jealousy_ "…prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."

"Wow."

"And…more importantly…I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us."

She rested her head against my chest and sighed.

I wanted to know what had happened in La Push that had made Alice come get me, but I wasn't going to ask her outright. "So," I said casually, "did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?"

She stiffened. Whatever happened, it still pained her to think about it.

"Just so that I can make my own plans," I said, trying to ease her tension. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you."

"No," she said, her voice thick with pain. "I don't have plans to go back."

"Oh," I said, still acting like I didn't know anything. "You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't think I'm welcome anymore," she whispered.

Now we were getting somewhere. "Did you run over someone's cat?" I asked lightly.

"No." She took a deep breath. "I thought Jacob would have realized…I didn't think it would surprise him." She hesitated. "He wasn't expecting…that it was so soon."

"Ah," I said quietly. Now I understood part of it. She had told him she planned to be changed into a vampire right after she graduated from high school.

"He said he'd rather see me dead," she said, her voice breaking.

Anger coursed through my body. I wanted to break the treaty, to run down to La Push and kill the mongrel for saying that to my angel. My poor Bella. I crushed her gently to my chest. "I'm so sorry," I said, unable to speak above a whisper for fear the anger would leak through.

"I thought you'd be glad," she whispered back.

I pressed my lips to her hair as I spoke. "Glad over something that's hurt you? I don't think so, Bella."

She sighed and relaxed, snuggling up against me. A few tears wet my shirt, and feeling the moisture made the anger and the urge to kill Jacob Black return, stronger than before. I tensed again.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"You can tell me."

I paused for a minute, considering. "It might make you angry," I warned her.

"I still want to know."

I sighed. "I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I _want_ to."

She tried to laugh. "I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control."

"I could slip," I said thoughtfully. I was seriously considering it. How _dare_ that dog say that to my Bella!

"If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it," she said, trying to pull herself up to kiss me.

I held her tighter, restraining her, and sighed. I wished I could lapse in that area. But it was much too dangerous. "Must I always be the responsible one?"

I could hear the grin in her voice as she spoke in the darkness. "No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes…or hours."

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Wait—there was something I wanted to ask you about."

"What's that?" I asked, curious.

"I was talking to Rosalie last night…"

I tensed again, waiting for the argument about her mortality. "Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?"

"She told me a little bit…about the time your family lived in Denali."

What? "Yes?"

"She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires…and you."

Oh, great. Rosalie was never one to be tactful. But why would she feel the need to tell Bella about Tanya? I hoped she didn't mention Tanya ambushing me in the forest. Alice had told her about that and she'd been quite amused.

"Don't worry," she said when I didn't answer. "She told me you didn't …show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of _them_ had. Shown a preference for you, I mean."

I really didn't want to answer that. I was silent again.

"Which one?" she asked. "Or was there more than one?"

Again, I didn't speak.

"Alice will tell me," she said, trying to get up. "I'll go ask her right now."

I held her tighter, restraining her. "It's late," I said, a nervous edge in my voice. "Besides, I think Alice stepped out…"

"It's bad," she guessed. "It's really bad, isn't it?" Her heart started racing.

Yes, it was very bad. Tanya had kissed me while I was grieving for Bella. But I wasn't going to tell Bella that.

"Calm down, Bella," I said, kissing the tip of her nose. "You're being absurd."

"Am I? Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because there's nothing to tell," I lied. "You're blowing this wildly out of proportion."

"Which one?" she insisted.

I sighed. She wasn't going to let this go. "Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story." Well, if you called kissing me a _little_ interest and me shoving her off, landing her flat on her back, _a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion…_

"Tell me something," she said. "What does Tanya look like?"

"Just like the rest of us—white skin, gold eyes."

"And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful."

"I suppose, to human eyes." But Tanya had _nothing_ on the angel in my arms. "You know what, though?"

"What?"

"I prefer brunettes," I whispered right into her ear.

"She's a blonde. That figures."

"Strawberry blonde. Not at all my type."

I ran my lips slowly down her cheek, along her throat, and back up again, breathing softly on her. I made the circuit three times before she finally spoke.

"I _guess_ that's okay, then," she said.

"Hmm," I whispered against her cheek. "You're quite adorable when you're jealous. It's surprisingly enjoyable."

I felt her face twist into a scowl beneath my mouth.

"It's late," I crooned. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

I started humming her lullaby, and she sighed and snuggled closer into my arms. I kissed the top of her head, glad that I'd come home and helped to relieve her pain.


	7. 6 Visitor

6. Visitor

Bella smiled when she woke to find me still there. I kissed her softly and stroked her hair as I held her. She made no move to get up, and I was perfectly happy just to lie there with her.

"Are you all right?" I asked after about fifteen minutes.

"What do you mean?"

"You were upset last night, about Jacob."

"Oh, that. It still hurts, but not nearly as bad now. Being with you makes it not hurt as much." She blushed and smiled at me.

I smiled back. "I'm glad I came back early."

"Me, too," she said, kissing me again. She snuggled up against me and laid her head on my chest. She smiled, then sighed.

I sighed, too. I wished this moment would never end.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. After about an hour of comfortable silence, Alice timidly knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"The door's open, Alice," I said.

Alice walked in and assessed the situation. Bella was semi-awake, still resting her head on my chest, and I had my arms around her. We were both, obviously, fully clothed.

_I'm proud of you, Edward. See, I told you you'd do the right thing._

I lifted my head up so Bella couldn't see. "Did you see?" I asked, so low that Bella wouldn't have a prayer of hearing.

_No. I blocked it out. I wanted to give you some privacy. I was embarrassed enough that I saw the beginning of it. But it's kind of obvious what your decision was. The bed is too neat._

I snorted silently and smiled at my favorite sister.

She grinned back at me. "I hate to interrupt your moment here, but I have to take Bella back to Charlie," she said.

Bella groaned quietly.

"Sorry, love, but we have to keep up the charade," I whispered to her, kissing her hair. Then I looked at Alice. "I'll send her downstairs in a few minutes."

Alice threw a shopping bag on the bed. "Well, what's a shopping trip to Olympia without new clothes?" she said with a smile. "See you in a few minutes, Bella."

"'Kay," Bella groaned.

Alice walked out, shutting the door behind her.

I laughed quietly and sat up, forcing Bella up with me. She groaned again. I could tell she didn't want to leave. I was battling with my desire to have Alice call Charlie and delay Bella's return, but I had to stay on Charlie's good side, if possible.

"I'll be over as soon as they get back," I promised her. "I'll give you some privacy to get dressed."

She hugged me tightly before letting me go. "I love you," she murmured quietly.

I grinned. I would never tire of hearing those three simple words come out of my angel's mouth. "I love you, too," I said, kissing her quickly. I hurried out the door to let her get dressed.

Five minutes later, Bella came downstairs dressed in what was obviously a new pair of jeans and blue blouse. She looked utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful.

Alice smiled at me. _I know blue's your favorite on her. That's why I picked it. I'll go wait in the garage so you can say goodbye._

Bella waited for Alice to leave before running up to me and wrapping her arms tightly around my waist. "I wish I didn't have to leave," she whispered.

"So do I," I told her as I wound my arms around her, "but unless you'd like Charlie to press kidnapping charges, you should probably go. I promise I'll be there soon."

She sighed. "I miss you already."

"Likewise," I told her. "You have no idea."

She stood up on her toes to kiss me, and I lifted her up off the floor so I wouldn't have to bend. She was the one who broke the kiss, gasping for breath.

"Alice is waiting for you in the garage," I murmured, a little breathless myself. "I'll be over so soon you won't have time to miss me." I kissed her one more time, then set her down. "Go on, love."

Bella left unwillingly and a familiar ache appeared in my chest as I watched her walk out the door.

I waited impatiently for Carlisle and my brothers to return from hunting. They did so about two hours after Alice got back from dropping Bella at Charlie's house.

I should have suspected something strange when Carlisle pulled me into his office and shut the door. But he'd talked to me in his office before, so I didn't find anything unusual in it.

"Is Bella all right?" he asked me.

"A little better," I said. "I'm glad I came back."

"What happened?"

"She did go to La Push. And Jacob found out she was planning on having you change her after graduation. He told her he'd rather see her dead. I could kill the mongrel. I think the only time I've seen her in worse pain is Jacob's memories of the time we were gone."

Carlisle's sympathy for Bella's pain was wordless. He didn't know how to tell me how sorry he was for my love's suffering. Then he thought of something else._ By the way, Alice told me what happened when you got back. I'm proud of you, son._

If I could have blushed, I would have. That part of last night wasn't something I wanted the entire family knowing. As it was, I did grimace a little.

Carlisle laughed quietly. _Don't worry, Emmett won't hear anything about it from me or Alice._ He smiled. _But I just want you to know that I have faith in you to keep yourself under control if you decide to actually follow through with that decision in the future. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for._

"That's exactly why I _didn't_ follow through last night. I'm too strong. I don't trust myself not to hurt her. I don't trust myself to be able to keep up my concentration."

_That's not what I meant. I know how physically strong you are, obviously. I meant mentally. You're mentally strong enough to know how much, er, force is too much. I don't think you'd hurt her._

Even though Carlisle was a good friend to me, it didn't relieve the embarrassment I felt having this conversation with him. He _was_, after all, my father figure. I had a feeling I knew a little better now how Bella had felt when Charlie had tried to have his sex talk with her. I wished a pit would open up in the floor so I could fall in.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said, trying to keep the embarrassment out of my voice. Apparently it didn't completely work.

_Look, I know it's not an easy subject to talk about and I understand if you don't want to tell me about it. But I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here. I won't judge you and I'll try not to make you feel uncomfortable, if that's possible._

"Thanks again," I said, still just as embarrassed. "Speaking of Bella, I'm going to go to her house. She wasn't particularly keen on leaving me this morning. She's still hurting. I was just waiting for you guys to get back."

He smiled warmly. _Really, you don't have to use her as an excuse to escape from the patronizing sex talk. You can just tell me to drop it._

I groaned. _Patronizing._ That was a perfect word to describe it.

Carlisle laughed quietly. _All right, all right. I won't bring it up again. Go see Bella._ He grinned as I turned to walk out the door. Right before I got to the door, Carlisle tried to reassure me one more time. _I promise this discussion won't leave this room._

I turned back to face my father figure. "Thanks," I breathed. I was a little relieved. Of all the people to talk to about this subject, I guessed Carlisle was the one I felt most comfortable with. Alice probably saw that. That was why she'd told him.

I arrived at Bella's house and at first didn't notice anything other than Charlie's thoughts. Jacob had called to apologize to Bella, but she was refusing to call him back. Good. Let the mongrel suffer for a few days. Of course, I knew she'd forgive him eventually, but I also knew how much he'd hurt her, and I knew a simple "sorry" wasn't going to be enough for her. Not yet. I rang the doorbell, aching to see Bella again, even though it had only been a few hours.

"Door," Charlie called out.

"Don't strain yourself, Dad," Bella told him.

But then I noticed something else. I sniffed, making sure it wasn't just my family's trail I was smelling. It wasn't. It was definitely a vampire, but I didn't recognize the scent. I bared my teeth involuntarily.

Before I had a chance to investigate further, Bella opened the door with a huge smile on her face.

"Edward?" she asked when she saw my expression. "What—?"

I put a finger to her lips to silence her. "Give me two seconds," I whispered. "Don't move."

I ran to the tree outside her house, climbed up, and went into her room, making sure Bella's visitor wasn't still there, waiting for her. The scent was strongest there, but her room was empty. Whoever it was had been there early this morning. The scent was several hours old. I felt ill. Someone had been there, in Bella's room. They could have been there still, waiting for her. How had Alice not seen this? I was furious, I was terrified, I was confused. I was so many things at once. I left her room and went back to the door, where she was still standing, frozen in shock.

I put my arm around her waist and pulled her swiftly toward the kitchen without a word. I looked around us, making sure Bella's visitor wasn't still here. I didn't think so, but I wasn't leaving anything to chance.

"Someone's been here," I hissed in her ear after I'd pulled her far enough away that Charlie wouldn't hear us.

"I swear that no werewolves—"

"Not one of them," I interrupted her. "One of us."

Her face went white. "Victoria?" she managed to choke out.

"It's not a scent I recognize."

"One of the Volturi."

"Probably."

"When?" Her voice was shaking.

"That's why I think it must have been them—it wasn't long ago, early this morning while Charlie was sleeping. And whoever it was didn't touch him, so there must have been another purpose."

"Looking for me," she said.

Hearing the words said out loud made me freeze in terror and shock. Of course they'd been looking for Bella. What if she hadn't been at our house this morning? What if she had been here when this unknown visitor had dropped by? I wouldn't be standing here talking to her now. I would be helping Charlie with funeral arrangements. The sick feeling returned, stronger now than before. I breathed a silent prayer of thanks that Bella had been with us last night and tightened my arms around her.

"What are you two hissing about in here?" Charlie asked as he brought his dishes from lunch to the sink. He saw Bella's terrified expression, and he misread it. He grinned. "If you two are having a fight…well, don't let me interrupt."

When I finally found my voice again, I spoke. "Let's go," I whispered.

"But Charlie!" she managed to gasp. She was having trouble breathing now.

I deliberated for a bit. Whoever it was had left early this morning, and clearly they weren't looking for Charlie. But I didn't want to chance Bella's father getting killed. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Emmett's number.

"Emmett," I muttered when he answered. "Someone was here. A vampire. It's not a scent I recognize. Alice didn't see anything, or at least she didn't tell me if she did. We need to talk to her now, but I don't want to leave Charlie unprotected. Can you and Jasper come sweep the woods and make sure he's safe?"

"Of course, kid. We'll be there in two minutes."

I shut the phone and started to drag Bella toward the door. She resisted, and I knew she was still scared for her father.

"Emmett and Jasper are on their way." I tried to make my voice reassuring, but it didn't work very well. "They'll sweep the woods. Charlie is fine."

She let me drag her along then, and Charlie looked at us with a confused expression as I pulled her out the door. _What's happening? If they're fighting, why is she leaving with him? Well, maybe they don't want me to hear it._

"Where are we going?" Bella whispered after we were in my car.

"We are going to talk to Alice," I said in a normal volume.

"You think maybe she saw something?"

I narrowed my eyes and stared straight ahead. No, I didn't think she saw something. I thought she _hadn't _seen something that she should have. But I didn't want to frighten Bella any more than she already was. "Maybe," I told her.

My family was waiting for us after Emmett had told them about my phone call. They were all frozen in shock.

"What happened?" I demanded of Alice as we walked in the door. I was furious with her.

She stood with her hands folded across her chest. She remained unmoving as she answered me. "I don't know. I didn't see anything."

"How is that _possible_?" I hissed, still furious.

"Edward," Bella whispered in a condescending tone. I ignored her.

"It's not an exact science, Edward," Carlisle reminded me in a soothing tone. I wasn't soothed.

"He was in her _room_, Alice. He could have still been there—waiting for her."

"I would have seen that," she said confidently.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Really? You're sure?"

Alice didn't answer for a long moment. Her thoughts were incoherently furious. When she finally did answer, it was in a cold, hard voice. "You've already got me watching the Volturi's decisions, watching for Victoria's return, watching Bella's every step. You want to add another? Do I have to watch Charlie, or Bella's room, or the house, or the whole street, too? Edward, if I try to do too much, things are going to start slipping through the cracks."

"It looks like they already are," I fired back.

"She was never in any danger," Alice said, trying to pacify me. "There was nothing to see."

"If you're watching Italy, why didn't you see them send—"

"I don't think it was them," Alice interrupted. "I would have seen that."

"Who else would leave Charlie alive?" I insisted.

Bella shuddered at my side. I tightened my arm around her waist.

"I don't know," Alice said.

"Helpful," I snapped.

"Stop it, Edward," Bella whispered.

I turned to look at my love, my teeth still clenched. I was prepared to reproach her for not taking this more seriously, for not being just as furious with Alice. But then I saw her expression. She was terrified, too. She was taking this seriously. I sighed. She was right. I shouldn't be taking this out on Alice.

"You're right, Bella," I said in a much softer voice. "I'm sorry." I turned to look at my sister. "Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. That was inexcusable."

"I understand," Alice said in a reassuring tone. "I'm not happy about it, either."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Okay, let's look at this logically. What are the possibilities?"

Everyone relaxed, seeing that I wasn't going to bite Alice's head off now. Alice relaxed and leaned against the back of the couch. Carlisle walked toward Alice slowly. Esme sat on the couch, curling her legs up on the seat. I pulled Bella toward the couch and sat her between myself and Esme. Esme shifted to put her arm around Bella. I surrendered her to Esme, keeping only one of her hands. I held it tightly in both of my own. Only Rosalie remained unmoving, staring out the window with her back to us.

"Victoria?" Carlisle finally asked.

I shook my head. "No. I didn't know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I've never met…"

Alice shook her head. "Aro hasn't asked anyone to look for her yet. I _will_ see that. I'm waiting for it."

Something fell into place then. My head snapped up and I turned to look at Alice. "You're waiting for an official command."

"You think someone's acting on their own?" Alice asked. "Why?"

"Caius' idea," I suggested. Caius had wanted to kill us all when we were in Italy, and he wasn't thrilled about leaving Bella alive in the first place.

"Or Jane's…" Alice mused. "They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face…"

I scowled as I remembered Jane trying to incapacitate Bella with her so-called gift. "And the motivation."

"It doesn't make sense, though," Esme interjected. "If whoever it was meant to wait for Bella, Alice would have seen that. He—or she—had no intention of hurting Bella. Or Charlie, for that matter."

Bella cringed.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," Esme said reassuringly, stroking my angel's hair.

"But what was the point, then?" Carlisle asked.

"Checking to see if I'm still human?" Bella asked.

"Possible," Carlisle agreed. _They wouldn't have had to actually see her to know that she's still human. The scent in her room would have been enough to tell them that._

I heard Emmett and Jasper approaching. Rosalie sighed in relief and turned toward the kitchen, waiting for Emmett to come in. They hadn't found anything new or anything to help us understand the situation any better. Emmett and Jasper ran through the kitchen door a moment later.

"Long gone, hours ago," Emmett announced. "The trail went east, then south, and disappeared on a side road. He had a car waiting."

"That's bad luck," I muttered. "If he'd gone west…well, it would have been nice for those dogs to make themselves useful."

Bella winced again. Esme rubbed her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

Jasper looked at Carlisle. "Neither of us recognized him. But here," he said, holding out a broken fern frond to Carlisle. "Maybe you know the scent."

Carlisle sniffed the frond. "No," he said. "Not familiar. No one I've ever met."

"Perhaps we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's a coincidence…" Esme started to say, but she stopped when everyone glared at her. "I don't mean a coincidence that a stranger happened to pick Bella's house to visit at random," she clarified. "I meant that maybe someone was just curious. Our scent is all around her. Was he wondering what draws us there?"

"Why wouldn't he just come here then? If he was curious?" Emmett pointed out.

"You would," Esme said, smiling at Emmett. "The rest of us aren't always so direct. Our family is very large—he or she might be frightened. But Charlie wasn't harmed. This doesn't have to be an enemy."

I snorted silently. Of course Esme would be looking for alternative explanations that didn't involve someone trying to kill Bella. She was always the optimist. I didn't buy this explanation for a second. Carlisle wanted to, but something was stopping him. Alice didn't buy it, either, nor did Emmett or Jasper. Rosalie simply didn't care. She wasn't paying much attention at all to our deliberations.

Alice finally pursed her lips, then spoke. "I don't think so. The timing of it was too perfect…This visitor was so careful to make no contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see…"

"He could have had other reasons for not making contact," Esme said. She was starting to doubt her own explanation, too, but she still desperately wanted to believe that no one was trying to hurt Bella.

"Does it really matter who it was?" Bella asked suddenly. "Just the chance that someone _was_ looking for me…isn't that reason enough? We shouldn't wait for graduation."

"No, Bella," I said almost before she'd finished speaking. "It's not that bad. If you're really in danger, we'll know." _And I'm not going to let you make a decision this life-altering while you're feeling threatened._

"Think of Charlie," Carlisle reminded Bella. "Think of how it would hurt him if you disappeared."

"I _am_ thinking of Charlie!" Bella insisted. "He's the one I'm worried about! What if my little guest had happened to be thirsty last night? As long as I'm around Charlie, he's a target, too. If anything happened to him, it would be my fault."

"Hardly, Bella," Esme said, patting her head. "And nothing will happen to Charlie. We're just going to have to be more careful."

"_More_ careful?" she said, shocked.

"It's all going to be fine, Bella," Alice promised her. _It will be okay, Edward. I promise. I'll see if she's in danger. I'm watching her very closely. Remember, I love her, too._

I squeezed her hand, reassured by Alice's thoughts.

Luckily, no one agreed with Bella's assessment that she needed to be changed right then. They were still on my side, the side of waiting until the sword was removed from over Bella's head before allowing her to make this choice.

Neither Bella nor I spoke much as I drove her home, but I did try to reassure her a little.

"You won't be alone for a second," I promised her. "Someone will always be there. Emmett, Alice, Jasper…"

She sighed. "This is ridiculous. They'll get so bored, they'll have to kill me themselves, just for something to do."

I threw her a sour look. The subject of her death was hardly a laughing matter. "Hilarious, Bella," I chastised her.

Charlie, still misreading the tension between Bella and I, was in a cheerful mood when we got back. I excused myself for a moment to do some surveillance, but Charlie waited to give Bella her messages until after I got back.

"Jacob called again," Charlie said when he knew I could hear.

"Is that a fact?" Bella said, trying to sound unconcerned.

Charlie frowned. "Don't be petty, Bella. He sounded really low."

"Is Jacob paying you for all the P.R., or are you a volunteer?" Bella snapped. She was still very hurt by Jacob's remark.

Charlie just grumbled incoherently until his food cut him off.

When I officially left for the evening, I was surprised to find Rosalie waiting in the woods outside Bella's house. She was certainly the last one I expected to volunteer for the job of Bella's temporary bodyguard, especially after her noninvolvement in today's conversation.

"Rose?" I questioned her.

_Yeah, you're not going crazy. At least not more crazy than normal. It's me._

"What are you doing here?"

_Isn't it obvious? I'm watching out for Bella and Charlie._

I just stared at her, disbelieving.

_Look, just because I don't like her doesn't mean I want her to die. And I seem to remember promising you that I'd be nice to her after you got back from Italy. I meant that. I don't want to lose you, so, by default, that means I don't want to lose her, either. Go on home. I'll look out for her. I promise I won't let anything happen to her or Charlie._

"Thanks, Rose," I managed to whisper, in spite of my shock.

She smiled. _You're welcome._

When I got to the house a few minutes later, I was still in shock. I couldn't believe Rosalie was really out there, in the pouring rain, standing guard over Bella and Charlie for me.

Carlisle was smiling as I walked in. _You can trust her, Edward. She was just as mortified as the rest of us by Bella's visitor. And she remembered what thinking you'd lost Bella made you do in the past. Jasper and Emmett wanted to go tonight, but Rose insisted on it. Even though she doesn't like Bella, she doesn't want to lose you, so she recognizes the necessity of Bella's survival._

I smiled. "Thanks, Carlisle."

_Well, I'm assuming you don't want to continue our conversation from this morning, so go ahead and get changed and get back where you really want to be._ He grinned to show me he was joking.

I laughed as I headed up to my bedroom to get a dry set of clothes.

Bella was exhausted when I got back to her house. It had been a very long day for her. I hummed her lullaby for her, and she drifted off to sleep in my arms.

"I'm going to let Jacob off the hook," Bella informed me the next morning after she'd eaten breakfast.

I smiled. "I knew you'd forgive him. Holding grudges is not one of your many talents."

She rolled her eyes as she picked up the phone and dialed Jacob's number. Once again, I was grateful for the ability to hear what Jacob was saying to Bella.

"Hello?" Jacob answered.

"Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, his voice full of relief. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't mean it," he continued, tripping over his words. "I was just being stupid. I was angry—but that's no excuse. It was the stupidest thing I've ever said in my life and I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, please? Lifetime of servitude up for grabs—all you have to do is forgive me."

"I'm not mad," Bella assured him. "You're forgiven."

"Thank you," he exclaimed. "I can't believe I was such a jerk."

"Don't worry about that—I'm used to it."

Jacob laughed. "Come down to see me. I want to make it up to you."

I tensed. I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt Bella, and I was glad they'd made up, but I didn't want to let Bella out of my sight until I knew where her little visitor had come from.

Bella frowned. "How?"

"Anything you want. Cliff diving," he said with a laugh.

"Oh, _there's _a brilliant idea," Bella said, laughing too.

"I'll keep you safe," he promised her sincerely. "No matter what you want to do."

She glanced at me before answering. "Not right now."

"_He's_ not thrilled with me, is he?" Jacob asked, but, for once, there was no antagonism in his voice. He knew he had been wrong.

"That's not the problem," Bella told him, trying to keep her tone light. "There's…well, there's this other problem that's slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf…"

"What's wrong?" he demanded.

"Um…" she hesitated.

I suddenly realized that Jacob and his pack might have some information that would be useful to us. I held out my hand for the phone. Bella scrutinized my face, hesitating.

"Bella?" Jacob asked after a long pause.

"Do you mind speaking to Edward?" she asked, her voice hesitating. "He wants to talk to you."

There was another long pause. "Okay," Jacob finally said. "This should be interesting."

She handed the phone to me, warning me with her eyes to be nice to Jacob.

"Hello, Jacob," I said, keeping my tone polite. Much as I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, Bella had forgiven him for what he'd said to her, so I would refrain.

"What do you want, bloodsucker?" he asked in a bitter tone.

I kept my tone polite. "Someone was here—not a scent I know. Has your pack come across anything new?"

"Oh my God, are you serious? No, we haven't come across anything new."

"Here's the crux, Jacob. I won't be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It's nothing personal—"

"She'll be perfectly safe with me, bloodsucker. We're able to handle anything."

"You might be right—"

"Hey, do you mind renegotiating the boundary lines or maybe just forgetting about them altogether for the time being? I want to be able to catch anyone who gets too near Forks. I'm just as concerned about Bella's safety as you are."

"That's an interesting suggestion. We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable."

"Look, I'm not sure if Sam will go for this, but until I get him to come around, I'll keep an eye on things in Forks, too, since it's neutral territory. Bella will be safe."

"Thank you," I told him sincerely. I really meant it. It was good to know that there were others out there trying to protect Bella, too.

"Why don't you send her down here while you guys meet with us to talk things over?"

"I'd planned to go alone, actually. And leave her with the others."

"Look, bloodsucker, the safest place for Bella to be, especially while you're gone, is on the reservation. I promise you my pack will keep her safe. And you know your family needs to be at this meeting with us, too. Please look at this objectively."

"I'll try to consider it objectively," I told him. "As objectively as I'm capable of."

"Hey, do you mind if I can come up so I can catch the scent of Bella's unwanted guest? That way we'll know it if we come across it again."

"That's not a half-bad idea. When?"

"Is now all right? And would you mind leaving while I'm there? I don't want to get your scent mixed up with the intruder's. It's better if you're as far away from the house as possible. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"No, that's fine. I'd like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyway. Ten minutes."

"Can I talk to Bella again?"

"Certainly," I said, holding the phone out to Bella. "Bella?"

She took it slowly, a confused look on her face.

"What was all that about?" she asked Jacob.

"A truce, I think," he told her. "Hey, do me a favor. Try to convince your bloodsucker that the safest place for you to be—especially when he leaves—is on the reservation. We're well able to handle anything."

"Is that what you were trying to sell him?"

"Yes. It makes sense. Charlie's probably better off here, too. As much as possible."

"Get Billy on it," she told him. "What else?"

"Just rearranging some boundaries, so we can catch anyone who gets too near Forks. I'm not sure if Sam will go for it, but until he comes around, I'll keep an eye on things."

"What do you mean by 'keep an eye on things'?"

"I mean that if you see a wolf running around your house, don't shoot at it."

"Of course not. You really shouldn't do anything…risky, though."

Jacob snorted. "Don't be stupid," he told her. "I can take care of myself."

She sighed.

"I also tried to convince him to let you visit," he said. "He's prejudiced, so don't let him give you any crap about safety. He knows as well as I do that you'd be safe here."

"I'll keep that in mind," Bella told him.

"See you in a few."

"You're coming up?" she asked, pleased.

"Yeah. I'm going to get the scent of your visitor so we can track him if he comes back."

"Jake, I really don't like the idea of you tracking—"

"Oh _please_, Bella," Jacob said with a laugh, then he hung up.

Bella studied my face after she hung up, trying to gauge my mood.

"It's fine," I assured her. "I have to leave in a few minutes, though. Before Jacob gets here."


	8. 7 Jealousy

7. Jealousy

Bella wasn't happy that I had to leave in order for Jacob to come over. But, quite frankly, even though I had promised Bella I would be more reasonable about the wolves, I still didn't want to push myself. I was glad Jacob had asked me to leave.

"It's not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella," I lied. "It's just easier for both of us. I won't be far away. You'll be safe."

"I'm not worried about _that_."

Then I realized that just because I'd promised Bella I'd be nice to the dog, it didn't mean I couldn't have a little bit of fun with him. I pulled my love close to me and buried my face in her hair, breathing on her. Jacob wouldn't like the smell of vampire on her one bit.

"I'll be right back," I told her, laughing out loud. I couldn't wait to hear Jacob's reaction to that.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

I grinned and ran out the front door, following the scent of Bella's intruder. Emmett had been right. The trail was hours old and there was no sign of anyone. Frustrated that I hadn't been able to come up with anything new, I headed back to Bella's house to listen in. I grabbed the mail on the way in and smiled when I saw that her Dartmouth acceptance had come in. Of course, I'd sent in her application, along with a generous donation to the school.

I climbed up into my usual perch in the tree to listen to the conversation. I smelled bleach and werewolf blood. Jacob must have cut himself.

"I got this," Bella was saying. "Throw that towel in the wash, will you?"

"Do you have obsessive-compulsive disorder?" Jacob asked after a minute.

"We're a bit sensitive to blood around here. I'm sure you can understand that."

"Oh." _Of course. The bloodsucker is in this house all the time._ Jacob's thoughts had a jealous air about them.

"Why not make it as easy as possible for him?" Bella said. "What he's doing is hard enough."

I smiled. It wasn't really that hard anymore. I almost didn't smell her at all. I didn't think of her blood as food. I'd tasted it before, I'd been around it when it was flowing, and I'd refrained from killing her. And I knew what it felt like to think I'd lost Bella. I could never hurt her like that. But she was right. It was easier when I didn't have to be around her flowing blood, or anyone else's, for that matter.

"Sure, sure," Jacob said sarcastically. "Why not?" He hesitated a second. "Can I ask you something, Bella?"

Bella sighed.

"What's it like—having a werewolf for a best friend?"

Bella laughed, and the sound was like music.

"Does it creep you out?" he pressed.

"No. When the werewolf is being nice, it's the best."

That made Jacob happy…a little too happy. "Thanks, Bella," he said. He must have hugged her, because after a second, he said, "Ugh. Your hair stinks worse than your room."

It took all of my energy not to laugh out loud.

"Sorry," Bella muttered.

"One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires. It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively." _Yes, a very minor hazard when you're kissing someone with venom-coated teeth. Ugh._

"I only smell bad to you, Jake."

_I can hear you out there, bloodsucker. _"See you around, Bells."

"Are you leaving?"

"He's waiting for me to go. I can hear him outside."

"Oh."

"I'll go out the back," he said. After a second, he spoke again. "Hold up a sec—hey, do you think you can come to La Push tonight? We're having a bonfire party. Emily will be there, and you could meet Kim…And I know Quil wants to see you, too. He's pretty peeved that you found out before he did."

"Yeah, Jake, I don't know about that. See, it's a little tense right now…"

I smiled. I knew Bella would love to go spend time with her Quileute friends. And now, when Jacob was free of the pain he had been in the past few times I'd seen him around Bella, I could see the intensity of his friendship with her, how close they really were. He wouldn't hurt her. Of course I would let her go. It would be good for her to be able to relax for an evening and forget about everything going on in her life.

"C'mon," Jacob said, "you really think somebody's going to get past all—all six of us?"

I read in his thoughts that there were more than six wolves now, but apparently their numbers weren't something he was allowed to discuss. I also read how very much he wanted Bella to attend their little gathering tonight. I smiled. I had been so foolish not to allow Bella to spend time with Jacob. He really was a good friend to her.

"I'll ask," Bella said.

Jacob made a noise of disgust. "Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and—"

"Okay!" Bella cut him off. "Time for the werewolf to get out!"

"Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask _permission_," he said sarcastically.

I walked in the door seconds after Jacob left. I saw the big boning knife on the counter, still with Jacob's blood on it.

"Did you two get into a fight?" I asked.

"Edward!" she sang, throwing herself into my arms.

"Hi there," I said, laughing and pulling her close. "Are you trying to distract me? It's working."

"No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?"

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him," I teased. "Not that I object." I gestured with my chin to the knife on the counter.

"Dang! I thought I got everything," she said, breaking free of my embrace and running to put the knife in the sink, then drenching it in bleach. "I didn't stab him," she told me. "He forgot he had a knife in his hand."

I chuckled. "That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it," I teased again.

"Be nice," she scolded me.

I grabbed the mail out of my jacket and tossed the Dartmouth acceptance on the counter. "I got your mail."

"Anything good?"

"_I _think so," I said. I couldn't quite keep my excitement hidden.

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she went to the counter and grabbed the envelope. She unfolded it and smoothed it on the counter. "Dartmouth? Is this a joke?"

"I'm sure it's an acceptance. It looks exactly like mine."

"Good grief, Edward—what did you _do_?"

"I sent in your application, that's all," I lied.

"I may not be Dartmouth material, but I'm not stupid enough to believe _that_," she told me. I could hear the disapproval in her voice.

"Dartmouth seems to think you're Dartmouth material," I said, dodging the accusation.

She took a deep breath and hesitated before she spoke. Trying to calm herself, I imagined. "That's very generous of them. However, accepted or not, there's still the minor matter of tuition. I can't afford it, and I'm not letting you throw away enough money to buy yourself another sports car just so that I can pretend to go to Dartmouth next year."

I tried to keep the sadness out of my voice as I spoke. I was still trying to come up with a way to stall her and get her to marry me first. "I don't need another sports car," I told her. "And you don't have to pretend anything. One year of college wouldn't kill you. Maybe you'd even like it. Just think about it, Bella. Imagine how excited Charlie and Renee would be…"

"Edward, I'm worried about living through graduation, let alone this summer or next fall."

I wrapped my arms around her again, trying to comfort her. I was worried about it, too, but I wouldn't let it spoil the precious time I had with her. "No one is going to hurt you," I said, trying to convince myself as much as her. "You have all the time in the world."

She sighed. "I'm mailing the contents of my bank account to Alaska tomorrow. It's all the alibi I need. It's far enough away that Charlie won't expect a visit until Christmas at the earliest. And I'm sure I'll think of some excuse by then. You know, this whole secrecy and deception thing is kind of a pain."

I hardened my expression, determined to talk her into my offer somehow. "It gets easier," I told her. "After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved."

She flinched.

I mentally scolded myself for saying that. "Sorry, that was harsh."

She stared blankly at the Dartmouth envelope. "But still true."

"If I get this resolved, whatever it is we're dealing with, will you please _consider_ waiting?" I begged.

"Nope."

"Always so stubborn."

"Yep."

The washing machine thumped to a halt.

"Stupid piece of junk," Bella muttered, annoyed, as she pulled away from me again. "This reminds me," she said after she'd restarted the washing machine, "could you ask Alice what she did with my stuff when she cleaned my room? I can't find it anywhere."

I was confused. I was pretty sure Alice hadn't cleaned her room and the only thing she had taken to my house had been Bella's bag of toiletries. "Alice cleaned your room?"

"Yeah. I guess that's what she was doing. When she came to get my pajamas and pillow and stuff to hold me hostage." She threw me a disapproving look. "She picked up everything that was lying around, my shirts, my socks, and I don't know where she put them."

My confusion turned to terror as I realized what had happened to Bella's belongings. I was pretty sure Alice hadn't done any cleaning while she was here, and the only thing she'd taken to my house was Bella's bag of toiletries. These things all had her scent on them. I guessed that her visitor had taken them.

"When did you notice your things were missing?" I asked in a strained voice.

"When I got back from the fake slumber party. Why?"

"I don't think Alice took anything," I told her. "Not your clothes, or your pillow. The things that were taken, these were things you'd worn…and touched…and slept on?"

"Yes. What is it, Edward?"

"Things with your scent."

"Oh!"

We looked at each other for a long moment, neither of us wanting to state the obvious out loud.

"My visitor," she finally said.

"He was gathering traces…evidence. To prove that he'd found you?"

"Why?" Bella whispered in terror.

"I don't know. But, Bella, I swear I _will_ find out. I will."

"I know you will," she said as she laid her head against my chest.

I sighed. She trusted me so completely, with her life, with her heart, with everything. My phone rang, interrupting our moment.

I pulled it out and checked the number. It was Carlisle. "Just the person I need to talk to," I muttered, flipping the phone open. "Carlisle, I—"

"Edward, the newborn problem is Seattle is getting much worse. It's getting very sloppy and out of control. I don't think this is the work of just one newborn. Too many people are dying. There's got to be more than one. We've got to do something. Look at the newspaper today if you haven't already."

"I'll check it out," I promised him. "Listen, whoever was in Bella's room took some of her things. Her clothes, her pillow, things with her scent on them."

"What? Are you sure it was them?"

"Yes, I'm positive. Bella noticed her things were missing when Alice dropped her off yesterday morning. And Alice didn't take anything besides Bella's toiletries to our house."

"Why would they be gathering things with Bella's scent?"

"I was hoping you would tell me."

"We'll look into it. Don't worry. And we'll look out for Bella as closely as possible. Look, Emmett wants to go to Seattle to look into things. Do you mind going with him?"

"Maybe I'll go…" I said, trailing off as I looked at my angel sitting across from me. She was terrified. I couldn't leave her now. "Maybe not. Don't let Emmett go alone, you know how he gets. At least ask Alice to keep an eye on things. We'll figure this out later." I hung up. "Where's the paper?" I asked Bella.

"Um, I'm not sure. Why?"

"I need to see something," I told her. "Did Charlie already throw it out?"

"Maybe…" she said.

I ran outside to the trash can and found the paper on the top. I grabbed it and headed back inside. I spread it out on the kitchen table, reading the most recent article about the Seattle killings.

"Carlisle's right…yes…very sloppy," I muttered as I was reading. "Young and crazed? Or a death wish?" I mused.

She came to peek over my shoulder as I was reading. "It's getting worse," she said in a soft voice.

I frowned. "Altogether out of control. This can't be the work of just _one_ newborn vampire. What's going on? It's as if they've never heard of the Volturi. Which is possible, I guess. No one has explained the rules to them…so who is creating them, then?"

"The Volturi?" she repeated, shuddering.

"This is exactly the kind of thing they routinely wipe out—immortals who threaten to expose us. They just cleaned up a mess like this a few years ago in Atlanta, and it hadn't gotten nearly this bad. They will intervene soon, very soon, unless we can find some way to calm the situation. I'd really rather they didn't come to Seattle just now. As long as they're this close…they might decide to check on you."

She shuddered again. "What can we do?"

"We need to know more before we can decide that. Perhaps if we can talk to these young ones, explain the rules, it can be resolved peacefully." I frowned. I knew the chances of that were slim to none. "We'll wait until Alice has an idea of what's going on…We don't want to step in until it's absolutely necessary. After all, it's not our responsibility. But it's good we have Jasper. If we are dealing with newborns, he'll be helpful."

"Jasper? Why?"

I smiled darkly. I hadn't told Bella about Jasper. "Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires."

"What do you mean, an expert?"

"You'll have to ask him—the story is involved."

"What a mess," she muttered.

"It does feel that way, doesn't it? Like it's coming at us from all sides these days." I sighed. "Do you ever think your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?"

"Maybe," she said. "It wouldn't be much of a life, though."

"For me," I added. Then I smiled. "And now, I suppose, you have something you want to ask me?"

She stared at me, uncomprehending. "I do?"

"Or maybe not." I grinned. "I was rather under the impression that you'd promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf soiree tonight."

"Eavesdropping again?" she accused me.

I grinned again. "Just a bit, at the very end."

"Well, I wasn't going to ask you anyway. I figured you had enough to stress about."

I put my hand under her chin, holding her face so I could read her eyes. I could see she wanted desperately to go. "Would you like to go?" I asked her.

"It's no big thing. Don't worry about it."

"You don't have to ask my permission, Bella. I'm not your father—thank heaven for _that_. Perhaps you should ask Charlie, though."

"But you know Charlie will say yes."

"I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it's true."

She stared at me, disbelief written all over her face.

"Bella," I said, "I told you that I was going to be reasonable and trust your judgment. I meant that. If you trust the werewolves, then I'm not going to worry about them."

"Wow," she said, awed.

"And Jacob's right—about one thing, anyway—a pack of werewolves ought to be enough to protect even you for one evening."

"Are you sure?" she asked. I could tell she still didn't quite believe me.

"Of course. Only…I hope you won't mind taking a few precautions? Allowing me to drive you to the boundary line, for one. And then taking a cell phone, so that I'll know when to pick you up?"

"That sounds…very reasonable," she agreed.

"Excellent." I smiled.

Of course, Charlie had no problem with Bella going to La Push for the bonfire. And Jacob's excitement made even Charlie look gloomy about it. Jacob was only too eager to agree to my safety measures, if that was the only trouble he was going to get out of me. We agreed to meet at the boundary line at six.

Bella had originally planned to sell her motorcycle, but then decided against it. I had bought one of my own, so that I could ride with her if she still wanted to. It seemed like it was something she enjoyed, and I didn't like the idea of her riding on her own. But she asked me if I would agree to take the bike with us tonight so she could put it back in Jacob's garage. I nodded, but I wasn't thrilled about the idea of her on that motorcycle without me. And I'd sort of been looking forward to riding with her, if I admitted it.

"What is _that_?" she asked when she saw the motorcycle I'd bought.

"Nothing," I murmured.

"It doesn't _look_ like nothing."

"Well, I didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride your bike anyway. It sounded like it was something that you enjoyed. I thought I could go with you, if you wished." I shrugged, trying to blow it off.

"I wouldn't be able to keep up with you," she whispered. She sounded sad.

I put my hand under her chin, pulling her face so I could look into her eyes. She was frowning. I tried to push the corner of her mouth up with my finger. "I'd keep pace with you, Bella," I told her.

"That wouldn't be much fun for you."

"Of course it would, if we were together."

She bit her lip as she considered it. "Edward, if you thought I was going to fast or losing control of the bike or something, what would you do?"

I tried to figure out what she wanted me to say. Of course I would find some way to save her before she crashed. But I had the feeling that wasn't what she wanted to hear. I just smiled. "This is something you do with Jacob," I said finally. "I see that now."

"It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess…"

"Don't worry about it," I said, then I laughed. "I saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has her Porsche now."

"Edward, I—"

I broke her off with a quick kiss. "I said not to worry," I told her. "But would you do something for me?"

"Whatever you need," she promised.

I let go of her face and leaned over the side of the motorcycle, retrieving the helmet and riding jacket I'd bought for her. "Please?" I asked, flashing the crooked smile she loved.

She took the red helmet and held it for a moment. "I'll look stupid," she said.

"No, you'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt." I threw the riding jacket over my arm and took her face between my hands. "There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without. You could take care of them."

"Okay, fine," she agreed. "What's the other thing?"

I laughed as I shook the jacket out. "It's a riding jacket. I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable, not that I would know myself."

I held the jacket out for her. She sighed and flipped her hair back so she could put on the helmet on. Then she turned around and put her arms in the sleeves. I zipped the jacket shut and smiled a little. She looked surprisingly attractive in this getup.

"Be honest, how hideous do I look?" she asked.

I took a step back and pursed my lips.

"That bad, huh?"

"No, no, Bella," I assured her. "Actually…You look…sexy." And I wasn't lying to her, either. She did.

She laughed. "Right."

"Very sexy, really."

"You are just saying that so that I'll wear it. But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. "You're silly. I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its drawbacks." And I pulled the helmet off so I could kiss her.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Bella asked as I drove her to the boundary line. "It's just like when I was a kid and Renee would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old."

I laughed. I supposed it did kind of feel like that to her.

I parked the car thirty yards away from the boundary line and went to retrieve her motorcycle and gear from the trunk.

"Do you have it all?" I asked her.

"No problem," she said.

I had a sudden idea then. I could find out _exactly_ how Jacob felt about her. Very easily. I sighed and leaned toward her. She turned her face up, and I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with as much enthusiasm as I had in the garage, maybe more.

Jacob's jealousy got the best of him and his thoughts turned sour. He wished it was him.

I laughed quietly when Bella broke away from me, gasping for air. "Goodbye," I said, keeping my voice light. "I really do like the jacket."

As she turned away, I started to panic. What if Jacob told her how he really felt about her? Would she leave me? She seemed perfectly at ease with Jacob. He was her best friend. She'd described him once as "family." Of course, if he was who she wanted, I wouldn't stand in her way if she wanted to leave me, but it would rip my heart out from my chest.

"What's all that?" I heard Jacob call to her.

"I thought I should put this back where it belongs."

_Yes! She really does want to spend time with me again!_ Jacob grinned.

The second Bella crossed the boundary line, Jacob ran up to her and caught her up in a bear hug. I couldn't bear to watch more. I turned the car on and sped away.

I hunted a bit in town while I waited for Bella to call me to come pick her up, but I was worrying about Bella and Jacob the whole time. I worried that she wasn't safe. I worried that Victoria might somehow know I wasn't with her and try to hurt her. I worried that she might be stronger than the wolves.

And I worried about Bella leaving me. I knew it was irrational. I knew how she'd reacted when she'd been forced to live without me. But that was just the thing. She'd been forced into it before. If she wasn't forced into it, if she did it of her own free will…she probably could live without me. But could I live without her? Could I live every day imagining her with Jacob? Maybe he would be better for her. Maybe I should try to talk her into leaving me for him. She'd be able to stay human. And she'd be able to have kids, have a family. All things she couldn't have with me. But I was too selfish. I wanted her for myself. I tried to remind myself that she loved me, that there was nothing to worry about, but without her there to comfort me, it didn't work.

I was getting quite nervous about this prospect when my phone rang. It was Bella's phone.

"Bella?"

"No, it's me," came Jacob's voice.

"Hello, Jacob. Is Bella all right?" I asked, suddenly panicked. Why was Jacob calling me instead of Bella?

"Yeah, she's fine. She just fell asleep. Come on back to the boundary. I'm on my way with her now. And I called Charlie, too, so he won't give you guys too hard a time when you get back."

Relief washed over me. I could see Bella again and erase all the irrational fears that had taken over my mind in her absence. "Thank you, Jacob. I really appreciate it."

"Sure, sure," he said, and then hung up.

I took her truck to pick her up and got to the boundary line before Jacob and Bella did. I started pacing impatiently back and forth. A few minutes later, I saw Jacob's car coming around the bend. Bella was in the passenger seat, sleeping. He shook her arm lightly to wake her up. After a few minutes, she opened the door and I could hear the conversation.

"Sleep tight, Bells," Jacob said. "Don't worry about anything—I'll be watching out for you tonight." _And every night_.

Jealousy washed over me again, taking the place of the gratitude I felt before. I didn't _want_ Jacob watching out for her. I could do that myself. I tried to calm myself and remind myself that the more protection Bella had, the better.

"No, Jake," Bella protested. "Get some rest. I'll be fine."

"Sure, sure," he said in a patronizing tone. _Not a chance._

"'Night, Jake. Thanks."

"'Night, Bells," he whispered as she hurried toward me. _I love you._

"Bella," I sighed in relief as she came over the boundary line. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, and suddenly all my fears from earlier faded away. All was right in the world again.

"Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and—"

"I know. Jacob explained."

She stumbled along sleepily toward the truck.

"Are you tired?" I asked. "I could carry you."

"I'm fine."

"Let's get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah—it was amazing, Edward. I wish you could have come. I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends and it was like…like magic."

I smiled. "You'll have to tell me about it. After you've slept."

"I won't get it right," she said, and then she yawned.

I chuckled as I opened her door for her. I lifted her into the seat and buckled the seat belt around her. She waved sleepily toward Jacob's headlights.

After I'd gotten Bella past Charlie, I left for a bit to do some surveillance. I heard Jacob's mind. He was glad to have had some time with Bella tonight. _I know you can hear me, bloodsucker. I'm here, and I'll be watching out for Bella just as fervently as you will. I'm not going anywhere._

I still didn't like the idea of him watching her, but I guessed that the more protectors she had, the better, whether they were werewolves or vampires.

I found who I was really looking for, Esme, shortly after that. When she saw that I was here, she headed home. And I went back to Bella's room.

"Is Jacob out there?" she asked as I came into the window and wrapped my arms around her.

At first, I panicked, but then I remembered that she didn't want him out there. "Yes…somewhere. And Esme's on her way home."

Bella sighed. "It's so cold and wet. This is silly." She shivered.

"It's only cold to _you_, Bella," I said with a chuckle.

I sang to her again, and she fell asleep in my arms. While she was asleep, I picked up her much-abused copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and started reading it. I was discovering I could sympathize with Heathcliff more and more. I understood his jealousy now.

All of a sudden, Bella's eyes opened. She buried her face in my chest immediately.

"Did I wake you?" I asked, tightening my arms around her and dropping the book.

"No," she mumbled, sighing. "I had a bad dream."

I held her even tighter, wanting to make it go away. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head. "Too tired. Maybe in the morning."

I laughed silently in relief. She was fine. "In the morning."

"What were you reading?" she mumbled sleepily.

"_Wuthering Heights_."

She frowned. "I thought you didn't like that book."

"You left it out. Besides…the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I'm discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before."

"Mmm," she sighed.

"Go back to sleep, my Bella. I love you. You're safe."

But she was already asleep.

I came across a passage while I was reading, a passage that I could have written myself. It was so perfect for my feelings about the situation with Jacob, it was almost frightening.

_And there you see the distinction between our feelings: had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I never would have raised a hand against him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then—if you don't believe me, you don't know me—till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head!_

I left the book out, open to that page, on her nightstand, hoping she would see it the next morning and understand how I felt.

I asked her about her dream the next morning, but she couldn't remember it. She just remembered that she was cold and that she was glad I was there when she woke up. I smiled and kissed her until her heart was racing, then headed home to change and get my car.


	9. 8 Answers

8. Answers

"I have foreseen…" Alice began in an ominous tone as we walked to my car after school.

I threw an elbow playfully at her ribs, but she dodged it neatly.

"Fine," she grumbled unhappily. "Edward is making me do this. But I _did_ foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you."

"In English?" Bella asked, confused.

"Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums."

"Now I'm scared."

"So you're—I mean _we're_—having a graduation party. It's no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that you _would_ freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party"—I reached over to muss her hair, but she dodged me again—"and Edward said I had to tell you. But it's nothing. Promise."

Bella heaved a sigh. "Is there any point in arguing?"

"None at all."

"Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise."

"That's the spirit! By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn't have."

"Alice, I didn't!"

"Oh, I know that. But you will."

"Amazing," I muttered. "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

Alice laughed. "It's a talent."

"Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?" Bella asked. "Now I'll just be stressed that much longer."

Alice frowned at her, and I suddenly realized that Bella had no clue what the date was.

"Bella," Alice said slowly. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Monday?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, it is Monday…the fourth."

Alice grabbed Bella's elbow and spun her around to look at the posters for graduation—exactly one week from today—that were taped to the gym door.

"It's the fourth?" Bella almost shrieked. "_Of June?_ Are you sure?"

Alice shook her head, while I raised my eyebrows.

"It can't be! How did this happen?" she said, panicked.

Bella didn't speak for the entire ride home. She wasn't even really there in the car with us. I dropped Alice at our driveway and then raced to Bella's house. I was going mad trying to figure out what could possibly be troubling Bella this much. I'd never seen her completely silent for so long when something was on her mind. I knew she didn't like parties, especially when the party was focused around her, but this was a little much for her to just be worried about an event where she would be the center of attention. I couldn't understand what could be upsetting my Bella so much. I wished she would tell me.

When we got to her house, I pulled her onto the sofa and let her just stare out the window for about an hour before I finally couldn't take it anymore. I put my hands on either side of her face and stared into her eyes, trying to decipher the emotion I saw there.

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking?" I begged. "_Before_ I go mad?"

She didn't speak.

"Your lips are white. Talk, Bella."

She exhaled. "The date took me off guard," she whispered. "That's all."

I waited for an explanation, although I was fairly sure now what was on her mind.

"I'm not sure what to do…what to tell Charlie…what to say…how to…" her voice trailed off as she panicked about making her arrangements.

"This isn't about the party?" I asked, although I knew it wasn't.

She frowned. "No. But thanks for reminding me."

"You're not ready," I whispered. I'd known she wasn't for a while. But now, seeing her panic like this when she thought of it, it made me that much more sure that we needed to wait.

"I am," she said. Apparently she could tell that I saw through her lie, because she amended her statement. "I have to be."

"You don't have to be anything," I told her, trying to make my voice sound soothing.

"Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room…!" she mouthed, unable to speak.

"All the more reason to wait."

"That doesn't make any sense, Edward!"

I tightened my hold on her face as I spoke. "Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done…to Rosalie especially. We've all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be that way for you. You _will_ have a choice."

"I've already made my choice," she insisted.

"You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you," I promised. "When we're through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're afraid. You won't be forced into this."

"Carlisle promised," she mumbled. "After graduation."

"Not until you're ready," I told her. "And definitely not while you feel threatened."

She didn't answer.

"There," I said, kissing her forehead. "Nothing to worry about."

She laughed nervously. "Nothing but impending doom."

"Trust me," I told her. I would not allow anything to happen to my angel.

"I do."

I continued to watch her face, waiting for her to relax. I could tell there was something else on her mind now.

"Can I ask you something?" she said suddenly.

"Anything," I told her.

She hesitated and bit her lip. "What am I getting Alice for graduation?"

I snickered. "It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets…"

"That's right!" she said. "The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD."

"It's a great idea. Thank you."

"I hope it's not sold out."

"It's the thought that counts," I assured her. "I ought to know." Indeed, I should know. I had wanted to buy her so many things, but she hated when I spent money on her.

She sighed. I could tell there was something else on her mind.

"There's something else you meant to ask," I prodded her.

She frowned. "You're good."

"I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me."

She closed her eyes and buried her face against my chest, possibly too embarrassed to look at me. "You don't want me to be a vampire," she finally said.

"No, I don't," I said softly, waiting for the question. When she didn't ask, I prodded her again. "That's not a question."

"Well…I was worrying about…_why_ you feel that way."

What could she possibly be worried about? "Worrying?" I asked.

"Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

I still didn't understand why she was worried about it. "If I answer your question, will you then _explain _your question?"

She nodded against my chest.

I took a deep breath. I'd never told her why I didn't want her to become immortal, but I supposed I had to sometime, and it might as well be now.

"You could do so much better, Bella," I told her. "I know that _you _believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours…For me to allow this—to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you—is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for _myself_. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in—it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever.

"If there were any way for me to become human for you—no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

She stared at me for a moment, absorbing what I had just said, then a smile slowly lit up her face. "So…it's not that you're afraid you won't…like me as much when I'm different—when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

I exhaled. "You were worried I wouldn't _like _you?" I started to laugh. "Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!" When I had recovered from the laughter, I continued. "I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella, when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I'll miss. This, for one…" I stared straight into her eyes as I stroked her cheek, watching her blush scarlet. I laughed gently. I loved seeing her blush. "And the sound of your heart," I continued. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. _This_," I said, taking her face between my hands again. "_You_. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable."

She sighed a happy sigh and closed her eyes.

Since I had answered a difficult question for her, I figured I deserved a difficult answer from her as well. "Now will you answer a question for me?" I asked her. "The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

"Of course."

I spoke slowly. "You don't want to be my wife."

Her heart skipped a beat, then started racing. I waited for her answer.

"That's not a question," she whispered when she found her voice.

I looked down and dropped my hands from her face, picking up her left hand and playing with her fingers. "I was worrying about why you felt that way," I said.

"That's not a question, either." She was still whispering.

"Please, Bella?"

"The truth?" she mouthed.

"Of course. I can take it, whatever it is."

She took a deep breath. "You're going to laugh at me."

I lifted my gaze back to her eyes, shocked. "Laugh? I cannot imagine that."

"You'll see," she muttered, and then she sighed. She blushed as she spoke. "Okay, fine! I'm sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just so…so…so _embarrassing_!" she said, hiding her face against my chest.

"I'm not following you," I said after a pause.

She tilted her head back to look at me. "I'm not _that girl_, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't going to be that girl! That's not who I am…" she trailed off, losing steam.

I was relieved. That was all? Really? I'd been afraid that she didn't really want me. That it was just the idea of immortality that she wanted, and not so much me. I couldn't have seen any other possible explanation for her to not want to marry me. I'd been convinced that if she loved me the way I loved her, she would have been just as eager to get married as I was. But it did make sense. Renee had drummed some very strong opinions on getting married into her head, and I had grown up in a very different time.

"That's all?" I finally asked.

She blinked in shock. "Isn't that enough?"

"It's not that you were…more eager for immortality itself than for just me?"

She started laughing uncontrollably. "Edward!" she gasped out between her giggles. "And here…I always…thought that…you were…so much…_smarter_ than me!"

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, as I laughed with her.

"Edward," she said when she'd gotten control of herself, "there's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you."

"Well, that's a relief," I said.

"Still…it doesn't change anything."

"It's nice to understand, though," I told her. "And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd like it very much if you'd try to consider mine."

She nodded and tried to keep the frown off of her face.

I stared into her eyes as I spoke. "You see, Bella, I was always _that boy_. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love—no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war they were selling prospective draftees then—but if I had found…" I paused, cocking my head to the side. "I was going to say if I had found _someone_, but that won't do. If I had found _you_, there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was _that boy_, who would have—as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for—gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations." I smiled her favorite crooked smile.

She stared at me with wide eyes. She'd forgotten to breathe. Again.

"Breathe, Bella," I told her.

She did.

"Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?" I asked.

She hesitated before she spoke. "The thing is, Edward, in my mind, _marriage_ and _eternity_ are not mutually inclusive concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean."

She wasn't getting out of this that easily. "But on the other hand," I countered, "you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?"

She pursed her lips. "When in Rome?"

I laughed, still exuberant with relief that she really did want me the way I wanted her: forever. "You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella," I told her. "It's good to understand both sides, though, don't you think?"

"So your condition…?"

"Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself…"

"Dum, dum, dah-dum," she hummed under her breath. I was pretty sure she was going for the wedding march, but it sounded a little like a dirge.

I chuckled and kissed her enthusiastically.

The next morning, I came back in from doing surveillance to find Bella sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. I knocked on the doorframe, but she didn't answer.

"Bella?" I asked softly.

She gasped and whirled around in shock.

"Did I startle you?" I asked. "I'm sorry. I did knock…"

"No, no. Have you seen this?" she asked, pointing to the newspaper.

I frowned. "I haven't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do something…quickly."

"What does Alice say?"

"That's the problem," I told her. "She can't see anything…though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away."

"Can that happen?"

"Who knows? No one's ever done a study…but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go…and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there. Maybe we'll have to do it blind."

Bella shuddered. "No."

"Did you have a strong desire to attend class today?" I suddenly asked. "We're only a couple of days from finals; they won't be giving us anything new."

"I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to Jasper." Jasper was an expert on newborns. He'd been raised trying to keep armies of newborns under control. Maybe he would have some insights for us.

I picked up the paper and we left. When we got to the house, Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper were watching the news intently. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the staircase, her face in her hands.

_I don't understand it_, she thought. _What am I not seeing?_

Emmett sauntered through the kitchen door as we walked in. "Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella?" He grinned at her.

"We both are," I reminded him.

Emmett laughed. "Yes, but it's _her_ first time through high school. She might miss something."

I rolled my eyes as I tossed the newspaper to Carlisle. "Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?" I asked him.

Carlisle sighed heavily. "They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning."

"We can't let this go on," I said. I definitely didn't want the Volturi coming to take care of the problem.

"Let's go now," Emmett said enthusiastically. "I'm dead bored."

Rosalie hissed from upstairs. _You're not going anywhere. It's too dangerous._

"She's such a pessimist," Emmett grumbled.

"We'll have to go sometime," I agreed.

Rosalie appeared at the top of the staircase and came down slowly, wearing a perfect poker face.

Carlisle shook his head. "I'm concerned. We've never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi."

"I don't want the Volturi to have to come here," I said. "It gives us so much less reaction time." _And it's too dangerous for Bella. If they find her still human, they could kill her on the spot if the mood strikes them._

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Esme said softly. "It's not right to let them die this way."

Carlisle sighed. _They're right._ "I know."

_It's an army, bro. A newborn army. That's the only explanation._ Jasper was staring at me intently.

"Oh," I said, turning to look at him. "I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything."

Everyone stared at Jasper and I in confusion, looking slightly annoyed by the one-sided conversation.

"I think you'd better explain to the others," I told Jasper.

Alice quickly came and stood next to Bella. "What is he rambling about?" she asked Jasper. "What are you thinking?"

Jasper was uncomfortable in the spotlight. He looked at each of us, saving Bella for last. His gaze lingered on her. "You're confused," he said to Bella.

"We're all confused," Emmett grumbled.

"You can afford the time to be patient," Jasper told him. "Bella should understand this, too. She's one of us now. How much do you know about me, Bella?"

Emmett sighed theatrically and plopped himself on the couch, waiting for the explanation.

"Not much," Bella told Jasper.

Jasper looked at me. _You didn't tell her about me, bro?_

"No," I answered. "I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now."

I hadn't told Bella about Jasper because I didn't want to frighten her, especially when she was already so nervous about becoming a vampire. But, with everything that was happening, I supposed now was the time. And it would make her understand more what vampires were really like. The ones who didn't lead "vegetarian" lifestyles. I was positive that she hadn't fully grasped that concept.

Jasper nodded thoughtfully as he rolled up the sleeve of his sweater. He held his bare wrist under the lampshade beside him and traced one of his many scars with his finger.

Bella looked studious for a moment, and then she got it. "Oh. Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine."

Jasper smiled a little. "I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella." He pulled the arm of his sweater up the rest of the way, revealing just some of the many battle scars that he'd received from mutinous newborns.

Bella gasped as she looked at his mutilated arm. "Jasper, what _happened_ to you?"


	10. 9 Army

9. Army

"The same thing that happened to your hand," Jasper told Bella in a quiet voice. "Repeated a thousand times over." He laughed without a trace of humor and touched one of his many scars. "Our venom is the only thing that leaves a mark."

"_Why?_" Bella asked, already horrorstruck. This was why I'd been reluctant to tell Bella about Jasper.

"I didn't have quite the same…upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something else entirely."

Bella gaped at Jasper, unable to stop staring at his mutilated arm.

"Before I tell you my story," Jasper said, "you must understand that there are places in _our_ world, Bella, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries."

Everyone else in the family had heard the story before. I'd heard it more times than I cared to remember. But I wanted to make sure that Jasper wasn't frightening my love too much, so I paid attention, unlike everyone else.

"To really understand why," Jasper began, "you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy…the perpetually thirsty.

"You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection.

"Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we—well, those who exist this way—can feed without attracting notice."

Bella shuddered, but I supposed she needed to understand this to understand Jasper's story, so I let him continue and tried to control my stress.

"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It's the Volturi that keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed.

"The North is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly—anonymity is important to us all.

"It's a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because it has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside—food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi."

"But what are they fighting for?" Bella asked. She seemed intrigued.

Jasper smiled warmly at her. "Remember the map with the red dots?"

He waited for Bella to nod before continuing.

"They fight for control of the thickest red.

"You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition.

"Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others.

"But the _most_ effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won."

"How did he win?" Bella asked, wary now.

"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost.

"You see, though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they're allowed to bring strength to bear they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case, overwhelming numbers.

"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own…

"All hell broke loose—and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either."

Bella shuddered, and I almost made Jasper stop, but I knew the worst part of the story was almost over, so I let him continue.

"When the body count reached epidemic proportions—in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump—the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize—Mexico City. The Volturi started with him, and then moved on to the rest.

"Anyone who was found with the newborns was executed immediately, and, since everyone was trying to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time.

"The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán."

Jasper shuddered. _Don't worry, bro, I won't tell her that. It's horrifying even for me to think of._

"It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life.

"But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South.

"It didn't take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you'll forgive the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the Volturi no reason to return.

"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue…" Jasper stared off into space as he finished his history lesson.

"That's how you were changed," Bella realized in a whisper.

"Yes," he told her. "When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it.

"My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always…liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston—well, it was more of a skirmish, really—I was the youngest major in Texas, note even acknowledging my real age.

"I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston.

"I remember that one night very clearly.

"We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn't time to rest.

"Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen.

"They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three.

"'He's speechless,' the tall girl said in a lovely, delicate voice—it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin was snow white.

"The other one was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel's. She leaned toward me with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply.

"'Mmm,' she sighed. 'Lovely.'

"The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl's arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it.

"'Concentrate, Nettie,' she said.

"I'd always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they'd been military, I would have said that she outranked them.

"'He looks right—young, strong, an officer…' The brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to speak. 'And there's something more…do you sense it?' she asked the other two. 'He's…compelling.'

"'Oh, yes,' Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again.

"'Patience,' the brunette cautioned her. 'I want to keep this one.'

"Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed.

"'You'd better do it, Maria,' the taller blonde spoke again. 'If he's important to you. I kill them twice as often as I keep them.'

"'Yes, I'll do it,' Maria agreed. 'I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don't want to have to protect my back while I'm trying to focus.'

"My hair was standing on the back of my neck, though I didn't understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them.

"'Let's hunt,' Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girl's hand. They wheeled—they were so graceful!—and sprinted toward the city. They seemed to almost take flight, they were so fast—their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone.

"I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously.

"I'd never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I'd never believed in ghosts or any other such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure.

"'What is your name, soldier?' Maria asked me.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost.

"'I truly hope you survive, Jasper,' she said in her gentle voice. 'I have a good feeling about you.'

"She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."

Jasper sensed the tension that was now emanating from me. Did he have to use _quite_ so much detail? Really? _Okay, bro, I'll edit._

"A few days later," he continued, "I was introduced to my new life.

"Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long—Maria had rounded up the other two—all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their…herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded…"

_Chill out, bro. I'm editing out the worst of it._

"She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong.

"There were six of us when I joined Maria's band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male—Maria wanted soldiers—and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others, better at combat. Maria was pleased with me, though put out that she had to keep replacing the ones I destroyed. I was rewarded often, and that made me stronger.

"Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others—as if I were being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. The casualties went down dramatically, and our numbers swelled to around twenty.

"This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily.

"Maria grew quite fond of me—she began to depend upon me. And, in some ways, I worshipped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way things were, and we believed.

"She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight, and I was eager to prove myself. I pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end—twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires, organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic.

"We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had only nine newborns at the time, and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more easily than Maria could believe, losing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin of victory.

"And we were well trained. We did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware.

"Success made Maria greedy. It wasn't long before she began to eye other cities. That first year, she extended her control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. Then the others came from the South to dislodge her."

Jasper brushed two fingers along his arm.

"The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and Lucy turned on Maria eventually—but that one we won.

"Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive…

"Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us—they were pawns, they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, we _did_ dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed…

"Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived his first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was…civilized—I suppose that's the right word. He didn't enjoy the fight, though he was good at it.

"He was assigned to deal with the newborns—babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job.

"And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one…It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no.

"We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I called out the next victim. To my surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow—he was a good fighter, but he was never a match for me.

"The newborn I'd summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt…averse to destroying him.

"Maria was irritated with me for that…"

Jasper could feel the tension that was exuding from me while he told Bella his story. _Chill, bro. The worst is over._

"Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive.

"Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She'd never felt a moment's depression, and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me—sometimes there was fear…and malice—the same feelings that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned.

"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, there had never been a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem.

"In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted.

"I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me—this borrowed memory—than it was for anyone else, because I could _feel_ everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect _me_. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

"It began to be too much.

"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing—killing anyone, even mere humans.

"Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline…challenging. I still haven't perfected that."

Jasper was sad for a moment as he remembered that his lack of perfect self-discipline had almost killed the girl he was talking to, the girl he now counted as a sister, and had made mine and Bella's lives both a living hell for eight months. He smoothed his expression into a smile and continued with his story, to his happy ending.

"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day—something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

"She was there—expecting me naturally." He chuckled and looked at Alice. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.

"It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before.

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said."

Alice, who had come to stand behind Bella, laughed. "And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am.'"

Jasper smiled at his true love. "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope." He took Alice's hand as he spoke.

Alice grinned. "I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up."

They smiled at each other for a long moment before Jasper turned back to Bella to finish his story.

"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," I interjected, rolling my eyes and turning toward Bella to explain. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak"—I nudged my favorite sister playfully—"who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."

Alice and Jasper laughed together.

"When I got home," I continued, "all my things were in the garage."

"Your room had the best view," Alice said with a shrug.

We all laughed together.

"That's a nice story," Bella said.

All three of us looked at her, questioning her sanity.

"I mean the last part," she clarified. "The happy ending with Alice."

"Alice has made all the difference," Jasper agreed. "This is a climate I enjoy."

"An army," Alice whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Everyone was paying attention now, staring intently at Jasper to explain.

"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to _fight_ for it. No one to defend it from.

"But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked.

"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon." Jasper was disturbed by this prospect, but he realized the necessity of it. "I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out."

Something occurred to me then. "Maybe they won't have to," I said in a bleak voice. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is…us?"

Jasper's eyes narrowed. _Of course! How could I have been so blind?_

Carlisle's eyes widened in shock. _Us? Who would want to destroy us?_

"Tanya's family is also near," Esme said. She was always the optimist, always wanting to believe that no one was out to destroy her loved ones.

"The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme," I told her. "I think we have to consider the idea that _we_ are the targets."

"They're not coming after us," Alice insisted, but then she paused. "Or…they don't _know_ that they are. Not yet."

Alice suddenly was remembering flickers of memories, but I couldn't make sense of it.

"What is that?" I asked. "What are you remembering?"

"Flickers," she told me. "I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view…"

"Indecision?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know…" Alice said, clearly disturbed.

I suddenly realized _exactly_ what was going on. It came in a flash, like a light bulb turning on over my head. "Not indecision," I growled. "_Knowledge_. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."

"Who would know that?" Alice whispered, suddenly terrified.

"Aro knows you as well as you know yourself," I pointed out.

"But I would see if they decided to come…" she insisted.

"Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty."

"A favor," Rosalie suggested, speaking for the first time. "Someone in the South…someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance—if they take care of this one small problem…That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."

"Why?" Carlisle asked. "There's no reason for the Volturi—"

"It was there," I said quietly, interrupting him. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head, he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan—he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having…not _more_ than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found…"

Bella stared at me, terrified.

"They're too committed to their mission," Carlisle disagreed. "They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for."

"They'll clean up afterward. A double betrayal," I said grimly. "No harm done."

Jasper shook his head. "No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This…person, this threat—they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."

"Then let's _go_," Emmett said, impatient. "What are we waiting for?"

Carlisle caught my eye for a long moment. _We have to go to Seattle, son. It's the only way to stop the Volturi from coming here. You can leave Bella with the girls again._

I nodded once. I didn't like this idea, and I knew Bella wouldn't either.

"We'll need you to teach us, Jasper," Carlisle said, resigned. "How to destroy them." His jaw was set as he spoke. He hated violence of any kind, and he was averse to destroying anyone.

"We're going to need help," Jasper said. "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing…? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."

"We'll ask," Carlisle agreed.

Jasper dug his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Carlisle. "We need to hurry."

Carlisle was visibly shaken, worried about all of us. Worried about the outcome. We could do this alone, but some of us wouldn't come back. The thought was agonizing. I was tempted to not go with them. I took Bella's hand and led her to the white loveseat. I couldn't die. I had too much to live for.

I listened to Carlisle's conversation. He was asking for their help. But they explained that Laurent had been killed by werewolves, trying to do reconnaissance for Victoria. Victoria had sent Laurent to see how easy it would be to get to Bella. He'd run into her, in our meadow, and he had been about to make her his lunch when the werewolves arrived. He hadn't survived the werewolves to report back. Irina's tie with Laurent had grown stronger since we'd last seen them, and she now wanted vengeance for her mate's death. She held us responsible, because of Bella. Because Bella was the reason that Victoria had sent Laurent here in the first place.

"Oh," Carlisle said. "We didn't realize…that Irina felt that way."

"Damn it," I groaned. "Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."

Carlisle pleaded with them, tried to get them to see reason, but they wouldn't. It didn't help that he was talking to Tanya, who was still a little bitter with me for refusing her so adamantly the last time I had seen her. They finally offered to trade their help in Seattle for our permission to take down the pack of werewolves that had killed Laurent.

"There's no question of that," Carlisle said sternly. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that..."

"Then we're sorry to tell you that we won't be able to help you," Tanya said in a very final tone.

"Of course," Carlisle said. "We'll just have to do our best alone." He shut the phone without waiting for a response.

"What's the problem?" Emmett muttered to me.

"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew," I explained. "She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants—" I paused, looking down at my love. I didn't want to frighten her more than she was already.

"Go on," Bella encouraged, her voice shaking.

"She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission."

"No!" Bella gasped.

"Don't worry," I said flatly. "Carlisle would never agree to it. Nor would I. Laurent had it coming and I still owe the wolves for that."

"This isn't good," Jasper said. "It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" Jasper's eyes flashed to Alice's face, then away.

I looked at my angel. Her face grew even more terrified as she grasped what Jasper meant. And I resolved then that I would survive somehow. Bella was the most important thing in my world, and I would survive this fight to see her again.


	11. 10 Competition

10. Competition

"You can't be serious," Bella complained on Wednesday afternoon at lunch. "You've completely lost your mind!"

"Say whatever you like about me," Alice said. "The party is still on."

Bella stared at Alice with wide eyes, speechless.

"Oh, calm down, Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent."

"But…the…you…I…insane!" Bella sputtered incoherently.

"You've already bought my present. You don't have to do anything but show up."

"With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate."

"Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost passé."

"Alice!"

Alice sighed. "There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time. As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school—for the first time—once. You don't get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot."

I'd been silent through their little tiff, but Alice's words were dangerous. I threw her a warning look.

_Like anyone could hear me over the noise in here_. Alice stuck her tongue out at me.

"What few things do we need to get in order?" Bella asked.

I spoke now. "Jasper thinks we could use some help. Tanya's family isn't the only choice we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He's considering talking to Maria…but no one really wants to involve the southerners."

Alice shuddered as she thought of what Maria would do to Jasper if she ever saw him again.

"It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help," I continued. "Nobody wants a visit from Italy."

"But these friends—they're not going to be…_vegetarians_, right?"

I panicked. Bella was with us all the time. Our friends weren't vegetarians, and she would be an easy target who smelled almost irresistible. "No," I answered, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Here? In Forks?"

_Calm down, Edward. Peter and Charlotte never hunt while they're here. They won't touch Bella, and neither will any of Carlisle's friends._ "They're friends," Alice said in a reassuring tone. "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination…"

I perked up a little at this reminder. I was very much looking forward to that.

"When are you going?" Bella asked, her voice expressionless.

"A week," I answered. "That ought to give us enough time."

Bella suddenly looked sick. I knew she was terrified, and I would have made a small wager that it was because she was thinking of us fighting the newborns, worrying about whether we'd come home.

"You look kind of green, Bella," Alice commented, worried. _I wish I could tell you to stay home with her, Edward, but we need you._

I put my arm around my love and pulled her tightly against my side. "It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me."

Bella was silent for a moment. When she spoke again, her tone was…hopeful. "You're looking for help," she said slowly.

"Yes," Alice answered, cocking her head to the side, trying to figure out what was on Bella's mind, just like I was.

Bella looked only at Alice as she answered. "_I _could help," she said, just louder than a whisper.

I stiffened and exhaled. The stress made it come out like a hiss. I hoped Alice had a good rebuff for that, because if Bella had said the same thing to Jasper, he would have been enthusiastically supportive right now.

"That really wouldn't be _helpful_," Alice answered. _I've got a good rebuff, Edward. Calm down. She needs you to be calm right now._

"Why not?" Bella argued. "Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time."

"There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella," Alice countered. "Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you." She folded her arms across her chest, proud of herself for coming up with it.

Bella slumped in her seat, acknowledging Alice's logic.

I relaxed and whispered the reminder in Bella's ear. "Not because you're afraid."

A blank look crossed Alice's face. She was seeing someone cancelling, not coming to the graduation party. "Oh. I hate last-minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five…"

"_Sixty-five!_" Bella exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock.

"Who canceled?" I asked, ignoring Bella's response.

"Renee."

"What?" Bella gasped.

"She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You'll have a message when you get home."

I was a little disappointed that Renee wasn't going to be coming, because I knew Bella would love to see her mother again, but at the same time, I knew Bella would be relieved. She wouldn't have to worry about her mother getting killed by our non-vegetarian vampire guests. I supposed I was a little relieved, too. I had enough to worry about already, like whether or not _I_ would be coming home. I didn't need to add Bella's harebrained mother to my list of people to worry about.

Alice had been right, of course. Bella's answering machine had a message from Renee waiting for her when she got home. Apparently Phil had broken his leg while trying to demonstrate a slide to the high school baseball team he coached. He was completely dependent on her, so there was no way she could leave him to come to Bella's graduation. Renee apologized profusely, and I could tell from her tone that she really wanted to come see her daughter graduate. She was still apologizing when the message cut off.

"Well, that's one," Bella sighed.

"One what?" I asked, although I was fairly certain I knew the answer.

"One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week."

I rolled my eyes, trying to seem unconcerned, although I was just as terrified as she was. I didn't want any of my family to die, and I desperately wanted to live through this. I had too much to live for, and all of my reasons were standing there in front of me, terrified that I wouldn't come home from Seattle.

"Why won't you and Alice take this seriously? This is _serious_."

_Oh, I am, Bella. I'm taking this more seriously than you are, if that's possible._ I smiled, trying not to show my anxiety. "Confidence."

"Wonderful," she grumbled, as she picked up the phone to call Renee back.

I was patient while Bella talked with her mother. Actually, to be more accurate, while Bella's mother talked to her. Bella could barely get a word in edgewise that wasn't an assurance that she wasn't mad.

I just played with Bella's hair for the whole time, memorizing her face again, and smiling her favorite crooked smile every time she looked up at me. I wanted my angel to be calm. It would help calm me down if she were calm, too. But I knew she wouldn't be. She was terrified that someone she loved, one of my family members, wouldn't come home. And she was right to be terrified.

But I figured I would concentrate on the good things while I still could. It was probably superficial to notice such things, but every time she smiled in response to one of my smiles, it metaphorically knocked the breath out of me (not literally since I technically didn't have to breathe). She was so beautiful. And, by some miracle, she was mine.

The second she hung up the phone, she stretched up to kiss me. I lifted her up onto the counter so she wouldn't have to reach as far, and she wrapped her arms and legs around me, holding me prisoner there as she melted against me. When I was getting to be overwhelmed by the desire to take it further, I pulled back.

Her face slipped into a pout, and I had to laugh at her expression as I extricated myself from her arms and legs. I leaned against the counter next to her and put one arm around her shoulders.

"I know you think I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case," I teased.

"I wish," she sighed.

I sighed, too. So did I. Well, really, I wished I trusted myself enough to take it further, especially right now, when we only had so much time left to us. But I didn't. I didn't trust myself to be able to control myself enough not to hurt her.

"After school tomorrow," I said, desperate to change the subject, "I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours—we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe."

"Ugh," she grumbled. "I hate being babysat."

"It's temporary," I assured her.

"Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me."

"They'll be on their best behavior."

"Right," she grumbled. She paused for a minute, her expression thoughtful. "You know…I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire."

I tried to keep my expression calm. I knew she would much rather spend the day with Jacob than take a ribbing from my brothers for an afternoon. But, now that I knew how Jacob really felt about her, I was apprehensive about Bella visiting him.

"I'd be safe enough there," she reminded me when I didn't respond.

I thought about it for a few seconds. "You're probably right," I sighed.

"Are you thirsty already?" she asked, touching my cheekbone lightly.

"Not really," I said. I didn't want to explain myself. I didn't want her to think about what was going to happen in a week any more than necessary. But she waited, so I explained. "We want to be as strong as possible. We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game."

"That makes you stronger?"

I searched her face for some sign of distress, but all I saw was curiosity.

"Yes," I said when I was confident I wouldn't scare her. "Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating—adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical—but he won't suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say."

"Would that help?" she asked in a small voice.

"It doesn't matter. We aren't going to change who we are."

She frowned, then shuddered.

I realized suddenly that she was willing to have a stranger die to protect me. That realization was almost enough to make me stay here, but I couldn't do that to my family. I would just be careful, protect myself, and I would come home after the fight in Seattle.

"That's why they're so strong, of course," I said, changing the subject. "The newborns are full of human blood—their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year."

"How strong will _I _be?"

I grinned, glad that I'd distracted her a little. "Stronger than I am."

"Stronger than Emmett?" she asked playfully.

My grin widened. "Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him."

She laughed, then hopped off the counter to go study for her finals.

After a few hours of studying for her calculus final (which, despite my tutoring, she was quite nervous about), she took a break to call Jacob with the news of her visit the next day. I tried to be just as patient with this phone call as I was when she had called Renee. I played with her hair again. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that something would happen tomorrow when she went to see Jacob. I didn't know why, but I was apprehensive about it.

Jacob was, of course, ridiculously enthusiastic, and eagerly embraced my safety precautions of meeting me at the boundary line again.

"So how do you feel you did on your exams?" I asked on the way to the boundary line the next day.

"History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed."

I laughed. "I'm sure you did fine. Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A," I teased.

"Er, thanks, but no thanks."

I laughed again, but stopped instantly when I heard Jacob's thoughts. So _this_ was why I had been nervous about Bella visiting him.

_I'm going to tell her, bloodsucker. I'm going to tell her how I feel about her. The truth. I'm in love with her, and I'm going to tell her._

I frowned, suddenly nervous. The feelings of fear and anxiety I'd had the last time Bella had spent time with Jacob returned. Would Bella leave me for Jacob?

"What's wrong?" my love asked, sensing my tension.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I lied.

"You're not _listening _to Jacob, are you?"

"It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting."

"Oh," she said. After a pause, she spoke again. "What's he shouting?" she whispered nervously.

"I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself," I said.

Jacob honked his horn, his impatience getting the best of him. _Hurry it up, bloodsucker._

"That's impolite," I growled.

"That's Jacob," Bella sighed, getting out of the car and hurrying toward the boundary line.

She waved to me before she left, but I was still irritated with Jacob for doing this, especially now. Didn't I have enough to worry about without this, too? Couldn't I at least have the few days before I went to Seattle to enjoy with Bella without worrying that she would leave me for her best friend, the werewolf? I sped away, and noticed, too late, that Bella had left the cell phone I had given her in the car. Was she not planning on coming back?

During the hunting trip, I was distracted and I ended up going back to the house early and waiting impatiently for Bella to call me. Just because she didn't have her cell phone didn't mean that she didn't have access to a phone. After a few hours, I was starting to get worried that maybe she'd left her phone on purpose so I couldn't call her. Maybe she would leave me for Jacob. Of course, the fact that Alice couldn't see whether Bella was going to come back didn't help my nerves at all, although she tried to comfort me.

"Edward, relax," she told me. "Bella loves you. She's not going to leave you for Jacob."

I tried to relax, but it didn't work. My phone finally rang, and it was Bella's home number. I was elated.

"Bella?" I answered on the first ring, unable to keep my joy out of my voice. I raced to my car and was driving down the driveway within ten seconds. "You left the phone…I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," she grumbled unhappily. "Will you come and get me, please?"

"I'm on my way. What's wrong?"

"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."

Had that mongrel hurt my angel? "What happened?" I asked, trying to keep all of the emotion out of my voice.

"I punched Jacob," she said a little smugly.

"Good," I said bleakly. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt."

"I wish I'd hurt _him_." She sighed, frustrated. "I didn't do any damage at all."

"I can fix that," I teased, hoping to lighten her mood.

"I was hoping you would say that."

"That doesn't sound like you," I said warily. "What did he _do_?"

"He kissed me," Bella growled.

I accelerated as fast as the car would go, unable to focus on anything else in my rage. How _dare_ that _dog_ kiss my Bella? Well, at least she hadn't wanted him to. She had punched him. She was still mine. I smiled a little at the thought.

"Is the dog still there?" I asked when I had gotten control of myself.

"Yes."

"I'm around the corner," I said, then hung up. I screeched to a stop in front of her house a second later.

"How's your hand?" I heard Charlie ask as I rushed to the door with human speed, so as not to attract attention from the neighbors.

"It's swelling," Bella responded.

"Maybe you should pick on people your own size."

"Maybe," Bella said, opening the door before I could knock.

"Let me see," I murmured.

She held out her hand, and I examined it gently, making sure not to cause her any pain. She was right. It probably was broken. She had to have put some force behind the punch to have broken her hand.

"I think you're right about the break," I told her. "I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."

"As much as I have," she sighed. "Not enough, apparently."

I kissed her injured hand softly. "I'll take care of it," I promised her, then called, "Jacob," trying to keep my voice even.

"Now, now," Charlie cautioned, coming to the door. "I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" he asked, looking only at me. His thoughts betrayed that he was on Jacob's side. Of course, I'd already guessed that he would be. "I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."

"That won't be necessary," I said, trying to keep myself from yelling at Charlie.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" Bella asked. "I'm the one throwing punches."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at his daughter. "Do you want to press charges, Jake?"

"No," he said, grinning. "I'll take the trade any day." He pulled his memory of the kiss to the front of his mind, taunting me.

I grimaced.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute," Bella said, annoyed.

"Enough, Bella," Charlie said evenly.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I told Bella, desperate to get out of here, away from Jacob's fantasies, which were getting more graphic by the minute. He was trying to make me believe that it had really happened the way he was thinking of it, but Bella's broken hand proved otherwise. I knew she had fought him off, not kissed him back. I put my arm around my angel, careful not to touch her hand, and pulled her gently toward the door.

"Fine," she said, leaning against me.

I sighed. Everything was all right now, and all of my fears from earlier once again seemed ridiculous. Of course Bella loved me. Of course she wouldn't leave me for the dog. I had been foolish to ever doubt her affections.

"What are you doing?" Charlie whispered to Jacob as I walked Bella to the car. "Are you crazy?"

"Give me a minute, Charlie," Jacob answered, completely calm. "Don't worry, I'll be right back." He shut the door to Bella's house and followed us outside.

I ignored the dog at first as I helped Bella into my car and fastened her seatbelt so she wouldn't have to use her broken hand to do it. I left the window open and turned slowly to face Jacob. He was standing with his arms folded across his chest, casually, confidently.

"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella," I said, making my voice gentle but threatening.

"Hmph," Bella grumbled.

I turned to look at my love, flashing her favorite crooked smile. "It would bother you in the morning," I told her, brushing my fingers across her cheek.

Then I turned back to Jacob. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again—and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head—if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. _Right. I can take you any day, bloodsucker._

"Who's going back?" Bella muttered.

I was glad to hear Bella say that, but I continued as if I hadn't heard her. "And if you ever kiss her again, I _will_ break your jaw for her," I vowed.

"What if she wants me to?" Jacob said arrogantly. He again pulled out one of his little fantasies.

"Hah!" Bella snorted.

I shrugged. "If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I said. I was fairly confident that wouldn't ever happen, based on Bella's reaction this time. "You might want to wait for her to _say_ it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language—but it's your face."

Jacob grinned as he imagined kissing Bella.

"You wish," Bella grumbled.

"Yes, he does," I mumbled.

"Well, if you're done rummaging through my head, why don't you go take care of her hand?" Jacob said, annoyed.

Something about Jacob's fantasies suddenly bothered me. I couldn't stand the thought of them coming true. "One more thing," I said slowly. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," Jacob growled. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."

Beating? He thought he would win? Had Bella told me everything? "She _is_ mine," I said, unable to control myself entirely. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

"Neither did I," Jacob said, still arrogant.

"Best of luck," I said sarcastically.

Jacob nodded. "Yes, may the best _man_ win."

"That sounds about right…pup."

Jacob grimaced, then leaned around me and smiled at Bella. I wanted to break the little punk's jaw, but I refrained.

"I hope your hand feels better soon," he told her. "I'm really sorry you're hurt."

I walked around the car and got in the driver's seat, desperate to get away from the dog's fantasies, which now involved Bella topless. I had to believe that if she knew he thought of her like that, she wouldn't want to spend time with him. I almost told her what he was thinking, but I didn't want her to break her other hand punching him.

"How do you feel?" I asked as we drove away.

"Irritated," she said.

I chuckled, imagining how much more irritated she would be if she knew what Jacob was thinking right now. "I meant your hand."

She shrugged. "I've had worse."

"True," I agreed. I frowned, remembering her covered in gauze and plaster after our little excursion to Phoenix a year ago.

We were already back at the house, and I drove into the garage. Rosalie was working on Emmett's Jeep, and he was holding it up, acting as the jack. Emmett watched curiously as I carefully helped Bella out of the car, making sure not to touch her injured hand.

Emmett's eyes zeroed in on her hand, which she held cradled against her chest. He grinned. "Fall down again, Bella?"

Bella glared at him. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

Emmett blinked in surprise, and then burst into a roar of laughter. _She did _what?

"Jasper's going to win the bet," Rosalie said from underneath the Jeep.

Emmett stopped laughing and looked at Bella, genuinely worried that he would lose.

"What bet?" Bella demanded, pausing.

Oh, great. _Why_ had Rosalie mentioned the bet? "Let's get you to Carlisle," I urged, glaring at Emmett.

"_What bet?"_ Bella demanded as I dragged her inside.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I muttered, tightening my arm around my love's waist.

"Edward…" Bella grumbled.

"It's infantile," I said, shrugging. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."

"Emmett will tell me," she said, trying to turn around. I tightened my grip on her even more, restraining her.

I sighed. "They're betting on how many times you…slip up in the first year."

"Oh," Bella said, grimacing. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," I admitted. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor."

"Jasper's betting high," she said, sounding a little high herself.

I quickened our pace. "It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting," I told her. "He's tired of being the weakest link."

"Sure. Of course it will," she said in a monotone. "I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?"

I squeezed her gently, being careful not to hurt her hand. "You don't need to worry about it now," I assured her. "In fact, you don't need to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

She groaned. I worried that it was her hand, so I pulled her even faster toward the house. When we got inside, I picked her up and raced up the stairs to Carlisle's office.

Her hand _was_ broken, but it wasn't bad. Just a tiny fissure in a knuckle. Of course, she didn't want a cast, and Carlisle told her she'd be fine in a brace if she promised to keep it on.

I could tell Bella was out of it as Carlisle worked, fitting the brace to her hand. I worried aloud that she was in pain, but she assured me that wasn't it.

What was it, then? Was she considering Jacob? I tried not to think of her leaving me, concentrating instead on planning my maneuvers to make sure she stayed with me. I didn't know if I'd be able to stand seeing her with the dog, especially having seen his disgusting fantasies. If she wanted him that much, I would let her go, but it would be the most difficult thing I would ever do. And I wasn't going to give in without a fight. She was way too important to me.


	12. 11 Epiphany

11. Revelation

Bella looked beautiful when I arrived at her house to ride with her and Charlie to graduation. Alice had bought her a new outfit to wear, since whoever had been in Bella's room had severely limited her wardrobe options. Of course, like most of the clothes Alice bought Bella, it was blue, my favorite color on her. She was breathtaking.

She also looked like she'd just seen a ghost. A little too nervous for it to just be about the ceremony or the party. But, since we were riding in Charlie's police cruiser and he made me sit in the back, while Bella was in the front, I never got a chance to ask her what was wrong. Charlie enjoyed the thought of me in the backseat, behind the fiberglass divider. It was a little amusing, I had to admit.

"Are you all right?" I whispered to my angel as I helped her from the front seat when we got to school.

"Nervous," she answered.

"You are so beautiful," I told her, trying to ease her nerves. I wanted to ask her what she was nervous about, to soothe her, but Charlie shrugged in between us and monopolized his daughter, putting his arm around her shoulder.

"Are you excited?" he asked her.

"Not really," she said.

"Bella, this is a big deal," Charlie said enthusiastically. "You're graduating from high school. It's the real world for you now. College. Living on your own…" _Probably getting knocked up with Edward's kid in the first year._

It took all of my energy not to smirk or snort. I would never admit it, but I wished so much that Bella and I had that kind of potential. Not right now, of course. I knew she wasn't ready for it now. But I hated taking away from her the opportunity for it in the future.

"You're not my little girl anymore," Charlie continued, choking up a bit.

"Dad," Bella moaned. "Please don't get all weepy on me."

"Who's weepy?" Charlie growled. "Now, why aren't you excited?"

"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something."

"It's a good thing that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up."

"Sure," Bella said sarcastically. "A party's exactly what I need."

Charlie and I both laughed. Bella hated any special occasion, especially when a party was involved. He squeezed her shoulders, and then left us at the back door of the gym to go find a seat. I heard Jacob's thoughts as he and his father arrived to support Bella. _Don't worry, bloodsucker. I won't try anything right now. I'll let her be happy today. And…I'm sorry about before. It wasn't right of me to kiss her, or to think of what I thought of while you were there. Not that I don't wish it would happen, but I am sorry I was such a jerk._

I was glad Jacob was apologizing, but I wasn't going to forgive him for his improper thoughts about my Bella quite so easily. I sighed and led my angel inside, where it was mayhem as Ms. Cope and Mr. Varner tried to line everyone up in alphabetical order.

"Up front, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Varner ordered.

"Hey, Bella!" Jessica Stanley called, waving.

I kissed Bella quickly and sighed as I went to go stand in my place. Alice wasn't there. This was odd. I wondered what was going on. Alice wasn't there, and Bella still looked like she had just seen a ghost. Bella couldn't be this nervous about just the party. There had to be something else going on.

My suspicions were confirmed as Alice arrived at the last minute, translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic in her head. When she was finished with Arabic, she moved on to Korean sign language. I tried to concentrate, listening for my name to be called, but I was worried. Alice was keeping something from me, and Bella was worried about something. I guessed that Bella was worried about whatever it was that Alice was keeping from me. Alice left the second she had her diploma.

Jacob and Charlie both hooted and hollered when Bella's name was called, and I smiled. I supposed I was glad Jacob was here to support her. Despite his little fantasies, he did care about her and he was a good friend to her. He just couldn't help himself. Who could? She was too beautiful to _not_ fantasize about. I did occasionally, but it was my right. She _was_, after all, mine.

The ceremony seemed to drag on forever. I was desperate to be with Bella again, to get two seconds alone with her so I could ask her what was wrong. Finally, we turned our tassels and threw our caps up in the air.

I made my way to my angel through the crowd. "Congratulations," I whispered in her ear as I wound my arms around her waist from behind.

She turned to face me. "Um, thanks."

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet," I said.

"Not quite yet."

"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible." I knew it wasn't the party she was worried about, but I wasn't going to tell her that outright.

She was craning her head in all directions, looking for someone. Alice, I assumed. "Who are you looking for?" I asked her.

"Alice—where is she?"

"She ran out as soon as she had her diploma," I told her, unable to keep the worry out of my voice.

"Worried about Alice?" she asked me.

"Er…" I didn't really want to answer that. Yes, I was, but if Alice was keeping something from me, it probably was something she didn't want me to know about right then.

"What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean."

I looked down at her and narrowed my eyes. So she _did_ know what Alice was hiding. "She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language."

Bella laughed nervously. "I suppose that _would_ keep her head busy enough."

"You know what she's hiding from me," I accused.

"Sure," she said, smiling weakly. "I'm the one who came up with it."

I waited for her to tell me.

She glanced around, looking for Charlie, I guessed, before speaking. "Knowing Alice," she whispered, "she'll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being cancelled—well, don't go berserk, regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"Just stay calm, okay?"

I nodded once, unsure if I would be able to keep my promise. If she was asking me to stay calm, that meant that what she was about to tell me would have the opposite effect on me.

"I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides," she explained in a hurried whisper. "I think it's mostly coming at us from one side…and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes—all of it goes together. My scent is for them."

I froze in shock. Of course she was right. She had to be.

"But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good—Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!"

I was panicking now. Good? How could she possibly think this was good? Someone was creating a newborn army to kill her, and all she could think about was that no one was after my family. So classically Bella. I stood there, frozen, unable to keep the gaping horrified expression off of my face.

She put her hand on my cheek. "Calm," she pleaded.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled as he got to her. "Congratulations, baby!"

"Thanks," she muttered, still looking at me.

I _was_ making a bit of a spectacle of myself. My eyes were still wide with horror and I had my hands halfway extended toward her. I was seriously considering taking her and making a run for it. Running to the other side of the world, where she would be safe from the ravenous newborns who were being programmed to destroy her.

"Jacob and Billy had to take off—did you see that they were here?" Charlie asked, taking a step back to look at Bella.

I couldn't think any more. I couldn't concentrate. I was past being scared now. I was furious. Who would want to kill my Bella? And _why_? I didn't understand it, and now all I wanted was for them to be here right now, so I could end it with my own two hands. I would do whatever it took to protect her.

"You coming too, Edward?" Charlie asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I composed myself just before Charlie turned around to look at me. "No, thank you," I said in a cold voice.

"Do you have plans with your parents?" Charlie asked. _This is strange. He's usually very polite to me._

"Yes," I said. "If you'll excuse me…" I turned and hurried away. A little too fast. But I didn't care. I was too upset to care who saw what. I raced to the Lodge to wait for Bella. I couldn't let her out of my sight for one second.

I probably looked like some sort of stalker as I watched her through the window, making sure she was all right. She hid pieces of her food in her napkin when Charlie's attention was focused elsewhere, too upset to eat.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Bella walked outside. I walked up to her.

She gasped at the sudden movement, but then sighed in relief as she saw me. Without a word, I pulled her tightly to me, not wanting to let her go. I tilted her chin up with one finger and kissed her, my jaw still tense with fear.

"How are you?" she asked when I let her breathe.

"Not so great," I murmured. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there."

"My fault," she said. "I should have waited to tell you."

"No, this is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!"

"You've got a lot on your mind," she said, trying to make her anxious tone soothing.

"And you don't?" I asked her. I kissed her again, not letting her respond, but pulled back after just a second when I heard Charlie's approach. "Charlie's on his way."

"I'll have him drop me at your house."

"I'll follow you there," I said, and then left before Charlie could see me.

I still couldn't concentrate as I followed Charlie's car from a safe distance, keeping out of sight as I ran. I couldn't think straight. I needed to talk to Carlisle, to Jasper, to make some sense out of this madness. What would we do now? Someone would have to stay behind to protect Bella when we went to Seattle. And we would probably have to go sooner than we'd originally thought if we were going to keep them from attacking us.

Was it really the Volturi trying to kill Bella? That didn't make sense. If they wanted her dead, she'd be dead already. Then who? Victoria? That didn't seem likely. For one, I would have recognized her scent if she had been the one in Bella's room. And she wouldn't know about Alice's visions, not enough to know how to get around them. No, it had to be the Volturi. Maybe they figured that they'd just take us down, too, while they were at it…


	13. 12 Vision

12. Vision

"Bella?" I asked softly when she got out of Charlie's car at my house.

She turned around, and I sprang lightly up the porch steps, pulling her into my arms without another word. I held her recklessly close, never wanting to let go, wanting to shield her from everything. I kissed her again, the tension still in my jaw. I tried to relax, but I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her again. I'd lost her once, and that was more than enough. It had almost killed me last time.

"Let's get this stupid party over with," she muttered. She wouldn't look at me.

I took her face in my hands, waiting until she looked up before I spoke. "I won't let anything happen to you," I told her. I wished I could feel as confident as I sounded.

She touched my lips with the fingers of her good hand. "I'm not worried about myself so much," she murmured.

"Why am I not surprised by that?" I muttered, trying to stay positive. Somehow, I forced my lips upward in a small smile. "Ready to celebrate?"

Bella groaned.

I held the door open for her, keeping my arm around her waist. I couldn't let her go. I couldn't be away from her for a single second. She froze as she saw the decorations. Alice had transformed the interior of our home into a nightclub, complete with pulsing colored lights and a disco ball.

"Unbelievable," Bella muttered.

"Alice will be Alice," I sighed.

"Edward!" Alice called from behind a speaker. "I need your advice." She gestured toward a stack of CDs. "Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or"—she gestured toward a different pile—"educate their taste in music?"

How could Alice be thinking about this when an army of newborn vampires was being prepared to kill Bella?

"Keep it comforting," I told her, trying to keep the agitation out of my voice. "You can only lead the horse to water."

Alice nodded seriously and tossed the "educational" CDs into a box.

"I think I'm underdressed," Bella noted, taking in Alice's red leather pants and tank top.

"You're perfect," I told her.

"You'll do," Alice said.

"Thanks," Bella sighed. "Do you really think people will come?" We could all hear the hope in her voice. She didn't want to celebrate, not now. Neither did I, really, but it was a little late to cancel now.

"Everyone will come," I answered. "They're all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens' mystery house."

"Fabulous," Bella groaned.

I refused to let Bella leave my side as I hunted up Jasper and then Carlisle to tell them of her epiphany. We discussed our attack on the army in Seattle. We had to get to them before they could get to Forks. There weren't enough of us to protect the town, and I would be basically useless if they came to Forks, concentrating only on saving Bella. Jasper wasn't happy with the way our numbers stood. We hadn't been able to contact any of our nomadic friends, so we would have to go alone. We all worried about gambling with the stakes this high.

The doorbell rang, interrupting our planning.

_Son, we have to play our parts. Nothing will happen to Bella tonight._ A warm smile replaced Carlisle's worried expression as he went downstairs to chaperone the party.

Alice turned up the music, and we all settled into our human charade, playing our parts.

Bella played the role of the hostess remarkably well, considering the fact that she was about to fall to pieces. She chatted with everyone for a bit, not really giving anyone much time to talk to her. This was probably wise. If she had actually talked to anyone for any length of time, they probably would have noticed how scared she was. I still refused to leave her side. I kept my arm around her all the time, pulling her closer now and then in response to some of the boys' more vulgar thoughts about her. That Mike Newton really was a deplorable person. How did anyone stand him?

When we'd circled the room once and Bella was back to Jessica Stanley (probably a good person for her to talk to, seeing as a conversation with Jessica was usually very one-sided), Alice called me silently. _Edward, we need to talk. Now. Upstairs._

"Stay here," I murmured in Bella's ear. "I'll be right back."

I made my way through the crowd quickly and flew up the stairs. Alice was waiting at the top, a blank look on her face. A look I knew all too well. But she was concentrating very hard on the music that was playing.

"What is it, Alice? Show me," I begged.

She did. Whoever was leading the newborn army in Seattle had made their decision. We weren't going there. They were coming here, and one of them carried Bella's red shirt. I stood there, horrified, unable to move. They were coming for Bella. Once again, I considered taking her and making a run for it, running away, to the other side of the world.

We went back downstairs, unable to put on a normal façade as we tried to find Carlisle. I smelled werewolf. Had that _dog_ actually shown up here?

"Who invited the werewolf?" Alice griped at Bella.

Bella scowled. "Guilty."

"Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle." _Edward, come upstairs. We need to talk to Carlisle together. Don't worry about Jacob right now._

We found Carlisle and got him upstairs quickly.

"They're coming," was all I could manage to choke out.

"What?" Carlisle asked.

"The newborns," Alice said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "They're coming here. They'll be here this Saturday."

"Well, this could give us an advantage. We might be able to lead them to where we want them to be. Then it would be easier to take care of them."

"Bella," I choked out.

"Maybe it's time she saw her mother again," Carlisle suggested.

I couldn't speak. I was terrified. I knew we could win, but would I die in the attempt? Would another member of my family? I didn't know how I was supposed to cope with this.

"We need to tell Bella," Alice whispered, and left.

She left Carlisle's door open, so I caught a bit of Bella's conversation with Jacob.

"Why're you so distracted?" Jacob asked.

"It's nothing," Bella said. Even with all of the humans there, I could still pick out the sound of her heartbeat. And it was racing at a million miles a minute. She knew Alice had seen something. "Thanks for the present, really. I love it."

I tensed a little. So Jacob Black was allowed to give her presents, but I wasn't? How was that fair? Was it a mark of preference?

"Bella?" Jacob said. "Something's going on, isn't it?"

"Jake, I…no, there's nothing."

"Don't lie to me, you suck at lying," he told her. "You should tell me what's going on. We want to know these things."

"Jacob, I will tell you. Just let _me_ figure out what's happening, okay?" Bella said, the anxiety thick in her voice. "I need to talk to Alice."

_Oh! _ "The psychic saw something."

"Yes, just when you showed up."

"Is this about the bloodsucker in your room?"

"It's related."

_She knows a lot more than she's letting on._ "You know something you're not telling me…something big."

"Yes."

"Now. Explain."

"Jacob, I don't know everything," Bella said, her terror becoming more pronounced by the minute.

"What you _do_ know, then."

Alice walked down the stairs at exactly that moment, looking for Bella.

"Alice!" Bella squeaked.

_Why are the dogs still here?_ Alice descended the stairs and skipped to Bella's side. "I need to talk to you," she murmured to Bella.

"Er, Jake, I'll see you later…" Bella mumbled.

"Hey, not so fast," Jacob demanded.

"Excuse me?" Alice asked.

"Tell us what's going on," Jacob growled.

Jasper rushed up to Alice's side, sensing Jacob's anger.

"We have a right to know," Jacob muttered, now scared of Jasper.

"Hey, hey," Bella said, anxiety still in her voice. "This is a party, remember?"

_Maybe it would be a good idea if the wolves knew. They do have a right to know what's going on here._ "It's okay, Jasper," Alice said. "He actually has a point."

"What did you see, Alice?" Bella begged.

"The decision's been made," Alice said flatly.

"You're going to Seattle?"

"No."

Bella's heart skipped a beat, then started racing. "They're coming here," she choked out.

I wished I could go to Bella and comfort her, but I couldn't make myself move. I was just as terrified as she was.

Jacob and his friends were confused.

"Yes," Alice said in the same monotone.

"To Forks," Bella whispered.

"Yes."

"For?"

"One carried your red shirt."

Jasper was uncomfortable discussing this with the werewolves, but he still spoke. "We can't let them come that far. There aren't enough of us to protect the town."

"I know," Alice said, for the first time letting her fear leak into her voice. "But it doesn't matter where we stop them. There still won't be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search."

"No!" Bella whispered. "I have to go, I have to get away from here."

"That won't help," Alice said. "It's not like we're dealing with a tracker. They'll still come here first."

Of course they would come here first. I hadn't considered that we were dealing with an army of newborns and not a tracker. Bella leaving wouldn't help anything, except to keep her safe. Well, that was still enough. I would be able to concentrate better if I knew Bella was safely away from here.

"Then I have to go meet them!" Bella exclaimed. "If they find what they're looking for, maybe they'll go away and not hurt anyone else!"

_Oh, no, you don't. You're doing no such thing._ "Bella!" Alice protested.

"Hold it," Jacob interrupted. "_What_ is coming?"

"Our kind. Lots of them," Alice answered.

"Why?"

"For Bella. That's all we know."

"There are too many for you?" Jacob asked.

"We have a few advantages, dog," Jasper said. "It will be an even fight."

_If they're coming for Bella, I'll do anything to protect her. Even fight with vampires._ "No," Jacob said, determined. "It won't be _even_."

"Excellent!" Alice hissed. _The wolves are going to fight with us!_

Suddenly, I could move again. For the first time, I was glad that Jacob was my rival for Bella's affections. It meant that he cared enough about her to protect her, and it meant that he was willing to risk his life and the life of his pack to defend her against the newborns. This brightened our outlook considerably. We could win this easily with their help.

"Everything just disappeared, of course," Alice continued, now encouraged. "That's inconvenient, but, all things considered, I'll take it."

"We'll have to coordinate," Jacob told her. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours." _It's _my_ job more than anyone's. This is Bella we're talking about._

I hissed quietly, but was grateful for the tie Jacob had with Bella.

"I wouldn't go that far," Alice said, "but we need the help. We aren't going to be picky."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Bella protested. "Coordinate?"

"You didn't honestly think you were going to keep us out of this?" Jacob snorted. _I'm going to protect you, Bella, and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind._

"You _are_ staying out of this!" Bella protested.

"Your psychic doesn't think so," Jacob said arrogantly.

"Alice—tell them no!" Bella squealed. "They'll get killed!"

Jacob and his friends all laughed.

"Bella," Alice said in a soothing tone, "separately we could all get killed. Together—"

"It'll be no problem," Jacob finished.

"How many?" one of Jacob's friends asked.

"No!" Bella shouted.

"It changes," Alice told Jacob's friend. "Twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down."

"Why?" Jacob asked.

"Long story," Alice said. _I can't explain this here, with all of these humans around._ "And this isn't the place for it."

"Later tonight?" Jacob insisted.

"Yes," Jasper answered. "We were already planning a…strategic meeting. If you're going to fight with us, you'll need some instruction."

"No!" Bella moaned.

"This will be odd," Jasper said thoughtfully. "I never considered working together. This has to be a first."

"No doubt about that," Jacob agreed. "We've got to get back to Sam. What time?"

"What's too late for you?" Jasper asked.

"What time?" Jacob repeated.

"Three o'clock?"

"Where?"

"About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come in at it from the west and you'll be able to follow our scent in."

"We'll be there," Jacob promised.

"Wait, Jake!" Bella squealed. "_Please!_ Don't do this!"

Jacob was actually getting excited at the prospect of vampires he was allowed to kill. "Don't be ridiculous, Bells," he told her. "You're giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you."

"No!" Bella shouted again.

Jacob didn't answer. He and his friends left.

Alice brought Bella upstairs to talk with me, and Bella fell into my arms immediately. For the first time since she'd told me of her epiphany, I was confident. We would survive this. With the wolves fighting for us, it would be no problem. I was glad Jacob and his friends cared enough about Bella to fight for her. Of course, I knew she was the only reason they were doing it, but at the moment, I simply didn't care. All I cared about was that Bella would be safe.

Finally out of sight of all of the guests, Bella started sobbing, scared for us, scared for her friends.

"It'll be all right, love," I promised her, stroking her hair.

She couldn't speak. She just kept weeping.

"Shh, Bella, shh," I said in a soothing tone. I kissed the top of her head.

"They're…going…to…" Bella tried to speak.

I pulled back a little and coaxed her face up with my finger, pressing my lips to hers. "It's going to be fine, Bella, I promise. This will be easy with their help. Calm down, love."

Bella continued to blubber for a few minutes, but finally calmed down enough to speak. "You're all going to get yourselves killed," she said, her voice hoarse from the crying.

"We'll be fine," I promised. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"We'll all be fine, Bella. With the wolves fighting with us, we'll be able to win this easily. Now compose yourself a little. We have a party to get back to."

A few minutes later, after Bella had washed her face, we went back down to the party, and it ended on a note of true celebration. We were all confident that this alliance with the werewolves was going to work, that we would be able to take care of the newborns without any losses of our own.


	14. 13 Plans

13. Plans

"That had to be the longest party in the history of the world," Bella complained on our way back to her house.

I couldn't argue with that. It had dragged on rather painfully. "It's over now," I said, rubbing her arm soothingly.

She was the only one who needed soothing now. My entire family had perked up at the news of Jacob's pack fighting with us. Bella was the only one who was still worried. Worried for her friends. Alice had reached up to pat Bella's head when we left, while Jasper had used his gift to try to calm her. Emmett, trying to lighten the mood, had asked Bella why she was the only one who was allowed to fight with werewolves. And Esme had kissed her forehead and promised that everything would be all right. Now I was trying to convince her that everything would be fine. I really believed that it would be.

"You're taking me with you tonight," Bella demanded.

"Bella, you're worn out," I protested. I didn't like the idea of her watching us fighting, and if fighting erupted between us and the wolves…well, I definitely didn't want her in the middle of that. We still didn't know for sure if this alliance would work.

"You think I could sleep?"

I frowned. She was right; she was way too keyed up to sleep. "This is an experiment," I told her. "I'm not sure if it will be possible for us all to…cooperate. I don't want you in the middle of that."

"If you won't take me, then I'll call Jacob," she threatened.

I narrowed my eyes at her. She knew that was a low blow. But I couldn't find words to express my feelings, my doubt. Every second, I doubted her affection more and more. Everything she did seemed to assure Jacob of her feelings for him. And, because I couldn't read her mind, I couldn't know whether those feelings were of merely friendship, whether she felt kinship with him as she claimed, or whether she was in love with him and only staying with me because she was afraid of hurting my feelings.

"See you upstairs," she muttered when we got to her house.

I sprang lightly up the tree and in her window. I listened with amusement as she moved Charlie from the couch to his bed. Then I waited while she changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, watching her unhappily as she hung the outfit Alice had given her in the closet. I still didn't want her to come with me tonight. She was about to lose it as it was. Seeing us practice would only make it more real and more terrifying to her.

"Come here," she said, taking my hand and pulling me to the bed. She pushed me onto the bed and then curled up against my chest.

I sighed with relief as I tucked her quilt around her so she wouldn't get cold and held her close. All was right again. She was here in my arms. For now, at least, it seemed like she wanted me. That was enough.

"Please relax," I said soothingly.

"Sure," she muttered.

"This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it."

She clenched her teeth. Her heart was racing at a million miles a minute. She was going to have heart failure if she didn't calm down.

"Listen to me, Bella," I begged. "This is going to be _easy_. The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They'll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I've seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves' hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won't be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out," I finished in a teasing tone.

"Piece of cake," she mumbled in a monotone.

"Shh," I murmured, stroking her cheek. "You'll see. Don't worry now." I started humming her lullaby, but, for once, her heart rate didn't slow. It didn't calm her.

My poor Bella. Why couldn't the world of mythical creatures just leave her alone? What had she ever done to harm anyone in it? She didn't deserve this. Every member of my family, even Rosalie, was more than willing to risk their lives to protect her. And every member of the wolf pack, too. But she hated it. She couldn't stand that someone might die or get seriously injured because of her.

I hated leaving her when she was already so anxious. I was seriously considering sitting out, but I couldn't abandon my family and leave them without my help. And, if I were honest with myself, I had to admit that I _wanted_ to fight these vampires who wanted to hurt my Bella. I wanted to finish it with my own hands this time.

Bella was still very much awake when I pulled us both up into a sitting position.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?" I tried again. As tense as she was now, I definitely didn't want her there, seeing Jasper instruct us in how to fight the newborns.

She grimaced at me.

I sighed and took her in my arms, then jumped from the window.

I wanted to calm her down, so I used my excitement at the prospect of a fighting lesson to fuel the run. I ran the way I did when it was just Bella and me, when I ran just for the feel of the wind in my hair. Since she'd taken to riding motorcycles, she'd grown to love riding on my back while I ran. But tonight, it didn't calm her. Nothing would calm her.

When we got to the field, everyone was relaxed, except for Alice. Since the wolves were coming, she couldn't see, and that made her uncomfortable.

"You know what I think?" Bella asked.

I laughed. Of course I didn't know what she was thinking. "No. What do you think?"

"I think it's _all_ connected. Not just the two, but all three."

"You've lost me," I told her, seriously confused.

"Three bad things have happened since you came back." She ticked them off on her fingers as she spoke. "The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And—first of all—Victoria came to look for me."

I narrowed my eyes in concentration. Was it possible that Victoria was behind the newborn army? Perhaps. "Why do you think so?" I asked.

"Because I agree with Jasper—the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway."

I tensed. She was right. If the Volturi wanted Bella dead, she would be dead by now.

"Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?" she asked.

"Yes." I frowned at the memory of that horrible time in my life. I'd been the worst tracker in the history of the world, and I'd been grieving for my lost love. "I wasn't very good at it."

"Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?"

I furrowed my brow. Texas. The south. Where vampires created armies. "Yes. Hmm…"

"See—she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn't know what she's doing, so the newborns are all out of control."

And then I remembered. Maria had lied to us about Victoria's whereabouts. Could Victoria have met Maria? If so, she would certainly have seen newborn armies in action, and probably would have been intrigued at the prospect. It was very plausible. There was something wrong with this, though. The fact that someone knew how to mess with Alice's visions.

I started shaking my head before she finished. "Only Aro knows exactly how Alice's visions work."

"Aro would know _best_, but wouldn't Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know _enough_?" she pressed. "Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn't he also tell her everything he knew?"

I frowned. She was right. He had probably told her everything he knew before we even started tracking her. Why else wouldn't Alice have been able to see her when we had been tracking her? But I hadn't recognized the scent of whoever was in Bella's room. "It wasn't Victoria in your room," I told her.

"She can't make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it _is_ Victoria doing this in Seattle, she's _made_ a lot of new friends. She's created them."

I considered this. No fresh-made newborn left Charlie alive, but what if Victoria had created someone several months ago? Someone to assist her with the army. She could have sent that vampire to do her reconnaissance work.

"Hmm," I said after a minute of consideration. "It's possible. I still think the Volturi are the most likely…But your theory—there's something there. Victoria's personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She's show a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start—maybe it's a talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she's counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact, if there were survivors, I'd bet she'd be planning to destroy them herself…Hmm. Still, she'd have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive…Definitely possible. Regardless, we've got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure. You're very perceptive today," I told Bella. "It's impressive."

She sighed. "Maybe I'm just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she's close by…like she sees me now."

I clenched my jaw. What I wouldn't give for her to be right here, so I could kill her myself. "She'll never touch you, Bella," I vowed, but in spite of my words, I swept my eyes across the field, just to be certain. I bared my teeth, almost hoping that she would be there. "Yet, what I wouldn't give to have her that close," I murmured. "Victoria, and anyone else who's ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time."

Bella shuddered and tightened her hand around mine. "Is something wrong with Alice?" she asked as we got closer to my family.

I chuckled. "The werewolves are on their way, so she can't see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind."

Alice heard me. She stuck her tongue out at me. I laughed again.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett greeted me when we reached the others. "Hey, Bella. Is he going to let you practice, too?"

I groaned. "Please, Emmett, don't give her any ideas."

"When will our guests arrive?" Carlisle asked me.

I concentrated for a moment, trying to hear their thoughts. They were a minute and a half out, and they were coming in their wolf forms. They didn't trust us enough to use their human forms. "A minute and a half," I told Carlisle. "But I'm going to have to translate. They don't trust us enough to use their human forms."

Carlisle nodded. "This is hard for them. I'm grateful they're coming at all."

So was I. I was very grateful that they were willing to protect my Bella. Right now, I was a little glad that Jacob was in love with her.

Bella stared at me with wide eyes. "They're coming as wolves?"

I nodded, trying to decipher her mood. She swallowed loudly.

Then, I noticed something else. I was listening to much more than six minds.

"Prepare yourselves—they've been holding out on us," I told my family.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked.

"Shh," I said, staring past my sister in the direction the wolves were coming from.

"_Damn_," Emmett muttered under his breath. "Did you ever see anything like it?"

Esme and Rosalie exchanged a wide-eyed glance.

"What is it?" Bella whispered. "I can't see."

I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "The pack has grown."

Ten werewolves appeared in the clearing, all but one of them apprehensive. Jacob knew we wouldn't try to kill him.

"Fascinating," I muttered under my breath.

"Welcome," Carlisle greeted them, walking forward.

"Thank you," I replied for Sam. "We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control."

"That is more than enough," Carlisle told Sam. "My son Jasper"—he gestured toward Jasper—"has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to your own hunting style."

"They are different from you?" I asked for Sam.

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new—only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you—it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves."

The wolves were all excited about the prospect of fighting the newborns, especially since the newborns might do part of the job for them.

"We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary," I translated.

Carlisle smiled warmly at Sam. "We'll see how it plays out."

"Do you know when and how they'll arrive?"

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path."

"Thank you for the information," I replied for Sam. "We will watch."

The wolves sighed as they lay down to watch Jasper's lesson.

Jasper hesitated for a moment, then stepped into the empty space between us and the wolves. He threw a wary glance at me. _Is it safe for me to have my back to them, bro?_

I nodded. The wolves were not going to fight us tonight.

"Carlisle's right," Jasper said, speaking only to us and trying to ignore the wolves behind him. "They'll fight like children. The two most important things you'll need to remember are, first, don't let them get their arms around you, and, second, don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they'll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they'll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?"

Emmett grinned as he stepped forward. He was just as excited about this as I was.

Jasper backed toward the north end of the opening, waving Emmett forward.

"Okay, Emmett first. He's the best example of a newborn attack."

Emmett narrowed his eyes, a bit angry at Jasper's assessment. "I'll _try_ not to break anything," he muttered.

Jasper grinned. "What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He's very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won't be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett." He backed up a few paces, tensing himself for the attack. "Okay, Emmett—try to catch me."

Emmett charged Jasper like a bear, grinning as he snarled. He was enjoying himself immensely. He was fast, no doubt, but Jasper was faster, weaving in and out of Emmett's attacks with ease. I studied the attack intensely, taking in everything. Suddenly, Jasper caught Emmett from behind.

Emmett muttered a few expletives, while the wolves rumbled in appreciation. They were concentrating just as hard as I was, fascinated by Jasper's lesson.

"Again," Emmett insisted. He didn't like losing, even though he knew that was the point.

"It's my turn," I protested. I was eager to practice, hoping to get some of this irrational longing to fight out of my system. Maybe if I weren't so eager to fight, it might calm Bella down a bit.

Jasper grinned. "In a minute. I want to show Bella something first," he said, waving Alice into the ring. "I know you worry about her," he said to Bella. "I want to show you why that's not necessary."

Jasper sprang at Alice, but she moved quickly, almost too quickly to notice, anticipating his movements before he made them. It almost looked like a well-choreographed dance, with Alice's swirling motions and Jasper lunging toward her, missing her by inches each time. Suddenly, without warning, she was perched on his back, her lips at his neck.

"Gotcha," Alice said, kissing Jasper's throat.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head. "You truly are one frightening little monster," he teased.

The wolves were wary now, seeing Alice's relationship with Jasper.

"It's good for them to learn some respect," I murmured quietly, amused. Then I spoke louder. "My turn," I insisted, squeezing Bella's hand before letting it go.

I heard Alice talking to Bella as Jasper and I began. "Cool, huh?"

"Very," Bella said. It didn't sound like _cool_ would have been Bella's word of choice to describe this.

"I've got my eye on you, Bella," Alice said quietly. "I'll warn him if your plans get any more defined. It doesn't help anything for you to put yourself in danger. Do you think either of them would give up if you died? They'd still fight, we all would. You can't change anything, so just be good, okay?"

I panicked as I closed in on Jasper. Was Bella planning on doing something stupid in some misguided attempt to save me or Jacob? I couldn't allow it. I wouldn't allow it.

Bella didn't answer.

"I'm watching," Alice repeated.

Well, at least Alice would warn me if Bella was going to do something stupid. I sighed and continued my match with Jasper. Jasper had the century of experience to guide him, and tried to go on instinct alone as much as possible, but I always read his intentions a second before, giving me time to defend myself. I was faster, but the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to me. We came at each other again and again, neither of us able to gain an advantage. We snarled at each other, as if we were actually fighting. After about five minutes, Carlisle cleared his throat.

Jasper laughed, taking a step back. I grinned at my brother as I straightened up.

"Back to work," Jasper said. "We'll call it a draw."

I headed back to Bella and took my place on her other side, wrapping one arm around her shoulder. I could tell the fatigue was getting the best of her.

Everyone took turns fighting with Jasper before he slowed down, giving more instruction.

"You see what I'm doing here?" he asked as he fought with Emmett.

"Yes, just like that," he encouraged Rosalie.

"Concentrate on the sides," he told Esme. "Don't forget where their target will be. Keep moving."

I watched and listened intently to everything, but I didn't fight again. I stayed with my love, who was about to fall asleep standing up. She leaned against my side, and I supported all of her weight.

"We're about finished," I murmured to her.

"We'll be doing this tomorrow," Jasper told the wolves, facing them for the first time. "Please feel welcome to observe again."

"Yes," I answered for Sam. "We'll be here."

_It would be helpful for us to be familiar with your family's scents, so we don't make mistakes later,_ Sam told me. _If you could all be very still, it will make it easier for us._

I sighed and stepped away from Bella, turning toward my family. "The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents—so they don't make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them."

"Certainly," Carlisle said to Sam. "Whatever you need."

The wolves grumbled in disgust as they rose to their feet to sniff us. Bella watched them with wide eyes. I watched her carefully, evaluating her reaction. I knew she wasn't scared of the wolves. That wasn't what I was worried about. I was more interested in her reaction to Jacob. She'd figured out which wolf was Jacob, and I wanted to know what she would do.

I got my answer soon enough. Jacob turned toward her and bared his teeth in a grin. It would have been a frightening expression, except that his tongue lolled out to the side, making it look silly rather than menacing.

Bella giggled.

Jacob's grin widened as he left the pack and trotted over to Bella. I focused more intently now.

Jacob stopped about a foot away from Bella, crouching down so that his head was on the same level with hers.

"Jacob?" Bella whispered.

Jacob chuckled a wolfy chuckle.

Bella reached out and started stroking Jacob's head, as if she were petting a house dog. Jacob closed his eyes and hummed in contentment. He was enjoying this immensely. Bella moved closer to him, and almost without warning, Jacob licked her face from chin to hairline.

"Ew! Gross, Jake!" Bella complained, jumping back and smacking at him. He dodged out of the way and barked a laugh. Bella wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt, laughing with him.

I was on edge now. That lick would have been a kiss if Jacob had been in his human form. How would Bella have responded if it had been?

Everyone in my family was a little uncomfortable with Bella's reaction, except for Carlisle.

_Calm down, son. He's her friend. She still loves you, _he thought, trying to comfort me.

_Give it a rest, bloodsucker. I seem to remember promising I wouldn't try anything today. I was just messing around, _Jacob thought.

Jacob stayed in the clearing as the rest of the pack left, not taking their eyes off of us as they backed away into the trees. Only Quil and Embry stayed, anxiously waiting for Jacob.

Ignoring the dog, I went to Bella's other side and took her hand. "Ready to go?" I asked.

_What are you planning on doing with Bella during the fight?_ Jacob asked before she could respond.

"I've not quite figured out all the details yet," I told him.

_What, you don't know how to protect her? Then keep her close by and I'll protect her. _ Jacob grumbled.

"It's more complicated than that," I told him. "Don't concern yourself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella demanded.

"Just discussing strategy," I said.

_If you won't tell her what this is really about, I will. She deserves to know. I'll be back. I want to be able to talk for myself._ Jacob ran off into the woods to phase.

"Wait," Bella called. "Why did he leave?" she asked me.

I couldn't keep the irrational jealousy from taking over my thoughts, but I fought to keep it out of my voice. "He'll be back," I told her, sighing. "He wants to be able to talk for himself."

She leaned into my side again, and I knew she was about to collapse in exhaustion. I pulled her closer, hoping to silence the jealous voice in my head by having her in my arms.

Jacob loped back toward us, clearing the distance in about three seconds. "Okay, bloodsucker," he demanded. "What's so complicated about it?"

"I have to consider every possibility," I told him. "What if someone gets by you?"

Jacob snorted. _I can take them._ "Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

Bella scowled. "Are you talking about me?" she demanded.

"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," Jacob told her.

"_Do_ with me?"

"You can't stay in Forks, Bella," I said, trying to calm her. "They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"

"Charlie?" she suddenly gasped.

"He'll be with Billy," Jacob assured her. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."

"This Saturday?" Bella asked. She turned to me. "Well, crap! There goes your graduation present."

I laughed. She _would _be thinking about that. "It's the thought that counts," I reminded her. "You can give the tickets to someone else."

She thought for a moment. "Angela and Ben," she said. "At least that will get them out of town."

I touched her cheek softly. "You can't evacuate everyone," I said gently. "Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you—we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep us entertained."

"But what about keeping her in La Push?" Jacob pressed.

"She's been back and forth too much," I told him. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he"—I paused to look at Bella, remembering her theory—"or she is, this _could_ all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently. She _has_ to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances."

Bella stared wide-eyed at me, obviously terrified again.

I patted her arm. "Just being overcautious," I promised her.

Jacob gestured toward the forest and the mountains. "So hide her here," he suggested. "There's a million possibilities—places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."

I shook my head. "Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail. _Our _trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly which path they'll take, because _they_ don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us…"

Jacob and I grimaced at the same time, neither of us wanting to say or even think of what would happen.

"You see the difficulties," I told him.

"There has to be a way to make it work," Jacob muttered, glaring toward the forest, pursing his lips.

Bella swayed on her feet. I put my arm around her waist, pulling her closer, supporting her weight so she wouldn't fall. And when I did that, once again, the world was right. All of my jealousy faded away.

"I need to get you home—you're exhausted," I told her. "And Charlie will be waking up soon…"

"Wait a sec," Jacob said, wheeling around to face us with bright eyes. "My scent disgusts you, right?" _So let me carry her to wherever you want to hide her. Maybe my scent will obscure hers enough that they won't be able to tell. Why don't we try it right now?_

"Hmm, not bad," I said. "It's possible." I turned to my family. "Jasper?"

Jasper looked up curiously and walked over, Alice half a step behind him.

"Okay, Jacob," I said, nodding at him. I didn't like the idea of Jacob carrying Bella, but I couldn't deny his logic.

Jacob turned toward Bella, holding his arms out to her. She looked wary. Good, she didn't want to go to him.

I took a deep breath.

"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob told her.

Bella stared at his open arms suspiciously.

"You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella," I said, trying to keep my voice calm in spite of my jealousy and revulsion.

Bella frowned. I was glad. She didn't like this idea.

Jacob rolled his eyes and yanked Bella up into his arms. "Don't be such a baby," he muttered. His eyes flickered to me. _Oh, cool it. You can't deny the logic here._

I spoke to Jasper, trying to ignore Jacob. "Bella's scent is so much more potent to me—I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried," I explained.

Jacob turned from us and walked into the woods. He was enjoying the moment with Bella a little more than I liked. I wished desperately that I could read her thoughts so I would know what her reaction to him was.

He was back in just a few minutes, and I was waiting for them about fifty yards from their original departure point. Jacob headed toward me.

"You can put me down now," Bella told him.

"I don't want to take a chance of messing up the experiment," he said. _And I'm enjoying this moment._ He slowed down and tightened his arms around her.

I fought to keep the growl that was building in my chest from breaking free. How _dare _he do that? Especially when I was standing right there watching.

"You are _so_ annoying," Bella muttered.

Good, she didn't like this, either.

"Thanks," Jacob said sarcastically.

Jasper and Alice came to stand beside me as Jacob set Bella down. Without even glancing at Jacob, Bella walked back to me and took my hand. I sighed in relief.

"Well?" Bella asked.

"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't _imagine_ someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent," Jasper said, grimacing at the scent of werewolf. "It was almost completely obscured."

"A definite success," Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose.

"And it gave me an idea," Jasper added. _Bella can leave a false trail to the clearing and then Jacob can carry her up to your meadow. It's far enough away that they won't go looking for her, and maybe it will calm her down a little bit to be there._

"Which will work," Alice added.

"Clever," I agreed.

"How do you _stand_ that?" Jacob muttered to Bella.

I ignored Jacob as I looked at my love to explain. "We're—well, _you're_—going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch _our_ scent, they'll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears…"

"Yes!" Jacob hissed, excited.

I smiled at him, a smile of comradeship. At least he was on my side, the side of protecting Bella. That was what mattered.

_If Bella were in the clearing, the newborns would go insane. It would make picking them off truly easy_, Jasper thought.

"Not a chance," I told him, disgusted. How could Jasper think like that?

"I know, I know," Jasper said. "I didn't even consider it, not really." _You think I would actually put Bella in that kind of danger, bro? She's like my sister._

Alice stepped on Jasper's foot, angry that he was keeping his thoughts to himself.

"If Bella were actually there in the clearing, it would drive them insane," he explained. "They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy…Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought." But he glanced wistfully at Bella. _If you and Jacob both protected her, made sure that no one hurt her, it might work…_

"No," I told him.

"You're right," Jasper said. _I'm sorry, bro. I was letting my military instincts get the best of me. Of course it's too dangerous for Bella._ He turned to Alice. "Best two out of three?" he asked, taking her hand as they went back to the field.

Jacob stared after him. _How could you even think that, you filthy bloodsucker?_

"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective," I said, defending my brother. "He looks at all the options—it's thoroughness, not callousness."

Jacob snorted. _ Right._ He edged closer to us, drawn by his absorption in the planning.

"I'll bring her back here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there." I loved Jasper's idea of our meadow. Maybe being there would help calm Bella down. And I could at least stay with her there on Friday night and try to reassure her.

"And then what?" Jacob asked. "Leave her with a cell phone?"

"You have a better idea?"

Jacob smiled smugly. "Actually, I do." _We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with Collin and Brady, but he's insisting on helping us. So he can stay with Bella. That way she'll be protected if anyone happens to find her, and as long as he's in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack and able to tell what's going on._

"Oh," I said. "Again, dog, not bad at all."

Jacob turned to explain to Bella. "We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him—cell phone."

Bella tried to look like she got it, but neither Jacob nor I was fooled.

"As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," I explained. "Distance isn't a problem?" I asked Jacob.

"Nope." _We've gone up to three hundred miles to experiment. Still clear as a bell._

"Three hundred miles?" I asked. "That's impressive."

"That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment," Jacob explained to Bella. "Still clear as a bell."

Bella nodded, but I could tell she was exhausted and still frightened. I tightened my arm around her.

"It's a good idea," I admitted reluctantly. I didn't like the idea of trusting werewolves with my angel's safety, but I had to be with my family to help fight, and I had to admit that a werewolf would do a good job of protecting her. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!" I exclaimed, disgusted.

"Fighting _with_ vampires instead of against them!" Jacob said, the same disgust in his voice.

"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," I said.

Jacob smiled. "That's the reason we're here." _That and keeping Bella safe._


	15. 14 Sacrifice

14. Sacrifice

I carried Bella home in my arms, and she fell asleep on the way. I'd known she would. She was exhausted, and she'd had a _very_ long and eventful day.

She talked in her sleep, as always, but this time it worried me. She mentioned me a lot, but she also mentioned Jacob. "My Jacob," she said. It pained me to hear it. And she was also talking about sacrifice and "helping." Was she planning on doing something to try to help us that involved sacrificing herself? And then she muttered something about "the third wife." That's where I was lost. I would ask her about that when she woke up. I was terrified that she would try to do something to help us and that she would get killed in the attempt. She slept through most of the day, very uneasily, waking for brief seconds and then falling back asleep.

When the sun was setting, Bella started to stir. I was reading her copy of _Wuthering Heights_ when she woke and stretched, her hands searching for me.

"Edward?" she mumbled sleepily as she searched.

I reached out and took her hand. "Are you really awake this time?" I murmured softly.

"Mmm. Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless—talking all day," I told her.

"All _day_?" she asked, shocked.

"You had a long night. You'd earned a day in bed."

She sat up and looked at the window, where the light was coming in from the west. "Wow."

"Hungry?" I asked her. "Do you want breakfast in bed?"

"I'll get it," she groaned, stretching again. "I need to get up and move around."

I held her hand on the way downstairs. She looked a little unsteady on her feet, like she might fall over. She threw a couple of Pop Tarts in the toaster.

"Ugh, I'm a mess," she complained when she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the toaster.

"It was a long night," I said reassuringly. "You should have stayed home and slept."

"Right! And missed _everything_. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."

I smiled. "I could probably get used to that idea." I'd like it even more if she married me before she joined the family.

It was then that I noticed Jacob's graduation present: a silver bracelet with a hand-carved wooden wolf charm on it. "May I?" I asked, reaching for her hand.

She swallowed loudly. "Um, sure," she said, holding her hand out for my examination.

I weighed the charm in my hand for a moment, then let it fall. Why did she let him give her gifts and not me? It was unfair and it worried me. I worried that it was a mark of preference. "Jacob Black can give you presents," I said, trying to keep the jealousy and anxiety out of my voice.

"You've given me presents," she reminded me. "You know I like the homemade kind."

It was true. I had made her a CD of me playing the piano, and she loved it. I pursed my lips for a second, considering. I wondered if she'd accept a hand-me-down. I had a diamond charm in the shape of a heart that I'd inherited from my mother. As long as I didn't tell her it was a diamond, maybe she'd let me put that on her bracelet. That would make me feel a little better about her wearing a bracelet with a charm Jacob had given her.

"How about hand-me-downs?" I asked her. "Are those acceptable?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

"This bracelet," I said, tracing a circle around her wrist with my finger as I spoke. "You'll be wearing this a lot?"

Bella shrugged.

"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings," I pressed.

"Sure, I guess so," she said, still confused.

"Don't you think it's fair, then," I asked, looking down at her hand and turning it palm up so I could trace the veins in her wrist, "if I have a little representation?"

"Representation?"

"A charm—something to keep _me_ on your mind," I told her.

"You're in every thought I have," she told me. "I don't need reminders."

Hearing that sent a thrill through me, but I would not be distracted. "If I gave you something, would you wear it?" I pressed.

"A hand-me-down?"

"Yes, something I've had for a while," I said, flashing her favorite crooked smile.

"Whatever makes you happy."

"Have you noticed the inequality?" I asked, unable to keep the accusation out of my voice. "Because I certainly have."

"What inequality?" she asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

"Easy," she said with a shrug. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me _you_. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

I processed that. She didn't want me giving her things because she felt like _I_ was already more than she deserved. Her not letting me give her gifts _was_ a mark of preference: preference for _me_, not Jacob. It was ridiculous, really, but it made me glad to hear it. I rolled my eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous," I said.

My phone buzzed, interrupting our conversation. It was Alice.

"What is it, Alice?" I answered.

"Edward, you need to talk to Bella. I see her wandering around in the woods. Trying to find us, I think. Trying to get to the clearing."

"I sort of guessed as much," I said, staring into my love's eyes disapprovingly. "She was talking in her sleep."

"Please try to comfort her and tell her it's not necessary. Their numbers are down to nineteen. We'll be completely done with them in fifteen minutes if they keep on going down like this."

"I'll take care of it," I promised. I hung up and glared at Bella. "Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?" I asked her.

She pursed her lips and was silent for a minute. "I like Jasper's idea," she finally said.

I groaned. I'd guessed as much. And I couldn't allow it.

"I want to help," she insisted. "I have to do _something_."

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger."

"Jasper thinks it would. This is _his _area of expertise."

I glared at her disapprovingly, unable to come up with words to speak.

"You can't keep me away," she said. "I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me."

She thought Alice saw her in the clearing. I fought an amused smile as I spoke. "Alice doesn't see you in the clearing, Bella," I told her. "She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterwards."

"That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater," she said coolly. "If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me the way."

I tried to keep the anger out of my voice as I spoke. She was scared for me, scared for Jacob, scared for Alice, scared for all of us. That's why she wanted to do this. But I still couldn't allow it. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "That might have worked," I said politely. "If you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injuction."

She kept a smile on her face. "But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you."

I fought to compose myself. She was right. But I'd learned last night that Jacob was second in command of the pack. His orders had to be followed too. And I knew Jacob liked the idea of Bella in that clearing about as much as I did.

"Maybe you're right," I told her. "But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders."

"Jacob?" she asked, frowning.

"Jacob is second in command of the pack. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too." I smiled smugly at her. I had her backed into a corner, and I knew it. I took advantage of that, and tried to distract her. "I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche…Absolutely fascinating."

I wasn't lying. It had been very fascinating to read. But Bella could tell I was trying to distract her, and she glared at me.

I grinned. "Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets. For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?"

She nodded stiffly.

I chuckled. "They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for."

Bella sighed. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

"They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform."

"So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?" she asked, now curious.

"No. She's a direct descendant, all right."

She blinked in shock and her eyes widened. "_She_?"

I nodded. "She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah's a werewolf!" Bella shrieked. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

Good; I had distracted her, at least momentarily. "There are things he wasn't allowed to share—their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all out the window."

"I can't believe it. Leah Clearwater!" she exclaimed. She paused for a minute, a pensive look on her face, as she processed this. "Poor Leah," she finally whispered.

I snorted. "She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I'm not sure she deserves your sympathy."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

"She has reason enough," Bella mumbled.

"Oh, I know," I said, knowing exactly what she was thinking of without having to read her mind. "The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life, and I've seen some strange things." I shook my head in wonder. It was quite fascinating, how Sam was tied to Emily. "The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe—or should I say _her Sam_. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells…like magic." I smiled, remembering Marcus' words again. Our love was stronger than even that. "It's very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you."

"Poor Leah," she said again. "But what do you mean, malicious?"

"She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of. For example, Embry."

"What's with Embry?" she asked in surprise.

"His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She's not Quileute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?"

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course."

"No!" Bella gasped.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to think it's Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob's never been able to ask Billy about that."

"Wow. How did you get so much in one night?" she asked.

"The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!"

Bella laughed. "The pack is fascinating. Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

Damn! Of course she'd come back to the subject I didn't want to discuss. I put on my best poker face.

"I have to be in that clearing, Edward," she said.

"No," I said, making my tone final and hard.

Suddenly, she looked down at the table, refusing to meet my gaze. "Okay, look, Edward. Here's the thing. I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. _And I can't stand it if you leave me again._"

I melted. How selfish of me not to think of what this was doing to Bella, not knowing who would come back. I was confident we would all be fine, but then I was going to be fighting. Bella would have to sit behind, and worry about whether I or Jacob or Alice or Esme or Carlisle or Emmett or Sam or Quil or Embry or someone else would die in the attempt to defend her. It would feel to her exactly like I was leaving again, not knowing if I would come back or not. I took her in my arms, stroking her face and her arms reassuringly.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," I murmured soothingly. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," she said, still staring at the table. "Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

I sighed. She was right. But how could I leave my family without my help? "It's going to be easy, Bella," I said, trying to assure myself as much as her now. "There's no reason for your fears."

"None at all?" she pressed.

"None."

"And everybody will be fine?"

"Everyone," I promised.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?"

"Of course not. Alice just told me that they're down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily."

"That's right—you said it was so easy that someone could sit out. Did you really mean that?"

"Yes," I said.

"So easy that _you_ could sit out?"

I froze, unable to speak. She was so worried about my safety that she wanted me to sit out with her. She never asked me to do anything for her, and now she was asking me to let my family fight the newborn army without my help. I pulled out the poker face again, waiting for her to look at me.

She looked up, took a deep breath, and spoke again. "So it's one way or the other," she finally said. "Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or…it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?"

I still couldn't speak. I thought of my family. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie. Jasper. Alice. But they could take care of themselves. They probably would get by without me. But would Bella? Really? Bella was clearly terrified for me, if she was asking me to sit out with her.

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" I finally asked.

"Yes," she said in a fairly even voice. "Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we're together."

I took a deep breath, then exhaled, trying to calm myself. I put my hands on either side of her face, forcing her to meet my gaze. The guilt she felt was written all over her face. She felt horrible asking me to make this sacrifice, but she was that worried about me. She needed me with her. How could I refuse her this? When she never asked me for anything?

I pulled out my phone and dialed Alice's number. "Alice," I sighed. "Could you come babysit Bella for a bit?" I raised one eyebrow at her, daring her to object to the word. "I need to speak with Jasper."

"Of course. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I hung up, staring at Bella again. She still looked like she felt wretched.

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" she whispered.

"I'm going to discuss…me sitting out," I said. It was difficult to let them fight without me, but Bella was my first priority. If she needed this enough to ask me for it, I would sit out with her.

"I'm sorry," she said, the guilt as thick in her voice as it was on her face.

"Don't apologize," I said, smiling a little. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need…" I shrugged, acting like it was nothing. In reality it was one of the biggest sacrifices I'd ever made, but I had no limits as to what I would do for my angel. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way—like you have to choose me over your family."

"I know that," I assured her. "Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that _I _could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

She leaned forward and rested her head against my chest. I sighed.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Anytime," I told her, kissing her hair. "Anything."

We didn't move for a while. I held her in my arms, while she kept her face hidden against my chest. I could tell she was struggling with what she had just asked me to do. Then I remembered something that I wanted to ask her.

"Who's the third wife?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there."

"Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night," she said, shrugging. "I guess it stuck with me."

Before I could press the issue, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway wearing a sour expression. I hoped she wouldn't make Bella feel even guiltier over what she had asked of me.

"You're going to miss all the fun," she grumbled.

"Hello, Alice," I greeted her. I put one finger under Bella's chin, coaxing her face up so I could kiss her goodbye. "I'll be back later tonight," I promised her. "I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay," Bella sighed.

"There's not much to arrange," Alice told me. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

I sighed. "Of course he is."

And I walked out the door, breaking into a run as I reached the forest. I was eager to get this over with and get back to my love. I didn't want her to feel guilty. I wanted her to feel like she could discuss how she felt with me, no matter what she was feeling. Wasn't that part of what unconditional love was? Being completely honest with the other person, no matter what?

When I arrived at the house, Carlisle was pleased with my decision. _I'm glad you've decided to stay with Bella. She needs you a lot more than we do._

"I just hate missing the fun," I said.

"Alice is coming hunting with us now," Jasper told me. "She's going to get Charlie to agree to let Bella stay here for the weekend by telling him that she'll be stuck up here alone for the whole weekend, starting tomorrow. We're leaving tomorrow morning, so you'll have tomorrow night to be alone with Bella before the fight, too."

I smiled at the thought. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on Bella every so often. No houseful of intrusive vampires to hear everything we were saying each other. Just Bella and I, really alone. I already couldn't wait. I would request that she relax so that we could have this one night to concentrate on being together.

I returned about an hour after I'd left. I accepted Charlie's wishes for a nice trip, told him that we were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before Bella's curfew. Alice left with me.

"Thank you," I whispered to Alice when we were outside. "For tomorrow night. I know it was your idea."

She smiled. _You're welcome. Now get upstairs to Bella. She still feels horrible._

I flew up the tree and in Bella's window and lounged on her bed, waiting for her to come upstairs. She excused herself from the living room soon after.

"You can't be tired," Charlie protested.

"A little," Bella said.

I smiled. She really was a horrible liar.

"No wonder you like to skip the parties," Charlie muttered. "It takes you so long to recover." _I bet she's going to sneak out to see Edward tonight._

Bella didn't answer. A few seconds later, she came in her room. "What time are we meeting with the wolves?" she asked as she came to join me on the bed.

"In an hour," I told her.

"That's good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

"They don't need as much as you do," I told her, trying to get her to stay home. I had a feeling it wouldn't work.

"Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me again?" she asked.

I grinned at the thought of tomorrow night. "Actually, she's not."

She stared at me with a confused expression.

I laughed quietly. "I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? Alice is going hunting with the rest of them." I sighed. "I guess I don't need to do that now."

"_You're_ kidnapping me?"

I nodded, still grinning.

She was silent for a long moment.

"Is that all right?" I asked, suddenly concerned that she wouldn't want to spend the night with me.

"Well…sure, except for one thing."

"What thing?" I asked, scared that it would be something to do with Jacob.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving _tonight_?" she asked.

I laughed. How silly of me to doubt her affection. I really was going a little mental when it came to Jacob.

I could tell Bella enjoyed the run to the clearing more than she had last night. I was glad. I guessed the fact that I'd told her I would stay with her was a big part of that. I knew that she knew that I wouldn't be staying with her if I didn't truly believe that it would be easy and that my family and the wolves would be able to handle it without me.

We got to the clearing last. My family was already warming up, and there were only three wolves this time: Jacob, Quil, and Embry.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" she asked me.

"They don't all need to be here," I explained to her. "One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to send just Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual…I guess you could call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you," she said.

I nodded. "He trusts us not to try to kill him. That's about it, though."

"Are you participating tonight?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it," I told her. "He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers." I shrugged. I wasn't really as disappointed about it as I had been before. Bella was more important than my natural male instinct to fight, and if this was what she needed, I would happily give it to her.

Bella stared at the field and Jacob caught her eyes. He smiled the same wolfy smile that he had yesterday. I looked down at Bella. She was trying to smile at him, but she didn't quite get it right. She was worried again. Of course, I'd meant everyone when I'd told her they'd be fine, but she didn't realize that I cared about the wolves, too, because I knew she did. She thought her Quileute friends might still be in danger.

Jacob sprang lightly to his feet and walked over to us. _Hi,_ he greeted me.

"Jacob," I said in response.

He put his head down to Bella's level again, cocking it to one side. He whimpered. _Are you okay, Bells?_

I was about to translate, but apparently Bella didn't need it.

"I'm fine," she told him. "Just worried, you know."

Jacob continued to stare at Bella. _That's really stupid. What's there to be worried about?_

"He wants to know why," I murmured to her.

Jacob growled, annoyed by my translation.

"What?" Bella asked.

"He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, 'That's really stupid. What's there to be worried about?' I edited, because I thought it was rude."

She half-smiled at her friend. "There's plenty to be worried about. Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

Jacob barked a laugh. _We'll be fine, Bella. I promise._

Just as I was about to translate, Jasper called me. _Can you come help me, bro?_

I sighed, not really wanting to leave Bella with Jacob. "Jasper wants help. You'll be okay without a translator?"

"I'll manage," she told me.

I gazed back at her wistfully. Bella tried to encourage Jacob to come with me and watch the practice, but he insisted on staying with her. I supposed I was glad, because it was a little chilly. A breeze whistled through the trees and Bella shivered. I saw Jacob edge closer to her to warm her. She leaned against him, looking perfectly comfortable as she ran her fingers absentmindedly through his fur. Not like she was in love, but like she was hanging out with her best friend or her brother. I sighed and turned to help Jasper, finally convinced that Bella really was in love with me and not him.


	16. 15 Compromise

15. Compromise

"For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?" I pleaded with Bella as I was helping her pack for her two-day visit with "Alice." "It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you."

She promised that she would do her best to forget about vampire armies and Victoria and the Volturi and everything else that was bothering her for the night. I kissed her softly, then went to wait in her truck as she finished packing and said goodbye to Charlie.

Her heart thumped a little unevenly as we drove to my house, I assumed because she was still nervous about the battle. But she took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. I fought a smile at her slow driving, but tonight, I was content to go at her pace, determined to treasure every precious moment with her.

It was after dark when we got to my house. I was at her door the second she cut the engine, opening it for her. I grabbed her bag out of the cab with one hand, lifting her from the seat with the other arm. My lips found hers as I kicked the truck door shut behind her. Without breaking the kiss, I swung her up so that she was cradled in my arms and carried her in the house. I continued to kiss her enthusiastically for several minutes after we were inside. Her lips were just as enthusiastic as mine were; she seemed as thrilled as I was that we had tonight to concentrate on being together.

When I was sure she would turn blue from the lack of oxygen, I chuckled and pulled away.

"Welcome home," I told her.

"That sounds nice," she said, still out of breath.

I set her on her feet, and she immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"I have something for you," I told her.

"Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

"Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

Now that I knew her reason for not liking to receive gifts from me, I could chuckle at her reluctance. "It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

She wound her fingers through mine as she spoke. "Sure. Let's go."

I scooped her up into my arms again and flew up the stairs to my room. I set her down at the door and rushed to my closet to get the diamond. I was back before Bella had taken a step, but she ignored me and went and curled up into a ball in the center of my bed.

"Okay," she grumbled. "Let me have it."

I laughed and climbed onto the bed to sit next to her. Her heart thumped unevenly again. A reaction to my gift, I assumed.

"A hand-me-down," I reminded her sternly as I pulled her left arm away from her leg and attached the diamond to the bracelet Jacob had given her. Then I let go.

Bella examined the heart-shaped diamond I had placed on her bracelet cautiously. Obviously she couldn't tell it was a diamond. I was glad, because I was sure she would have a thing or two to say about that if she knew.

"It was my mother's," I said with a shrug. "I've inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

She smiled.

"But I thought it was a good representation," I continued. "It's hard and cold." I laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

"You forgot the most important similarity," she mused. "It's beautiful."

"My heart is just as silent," I told her. "And it, too, is yours."

She twisted her wrist, making the charm glitter. "Thank you. For both."

"No, thank _you_. It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too," I said, grinning.

She leaned against me, ducking her head under my arm and snuggling close against my side. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer.

"Can we discuss something?" she asked me. "I'd appreciate it if you could _begin_ by being open-minded."

Hadn't she promised to try to forget everything except us? What could she possibly want to discuss? "I'll give it my best effort," I said cautiously.

"I'm not breaking any rules here. This is strictly about you and me." She cleared her throat. "So…I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."

I smiled at her businesslike tone. "What would you like to negotiate?"

Bella didn't answer, and suddenly her heart was racing at a million miles a minute.

"Listen to your heart fly," I murmured. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you all right?"

"I'm great," she said, her voice shaking a little.

"Please go on then."

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

"It's only ridiculous to you," I told her. "What about it?"

"I was wondering…is _that _open to negotiation?"

I frowned. "I've already made the largest concession by far and away—I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No," she said, shaking her head, keeping as much of a poker face as she was capable of. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my…renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."

I looked at her suspiciously. What could she possibly mean? "Which details do you mean exactly?"

She hesitated. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

"You know what I want," I told her, still confused.

"_Matrimony_," she said, making it sound like a dirty word.

"Yes," I said, smiling at her tone. "To start with."

Shock replaced her composed expression. "There's more?"

"Well," I said, calculating, "if you're my wife, then what's mine is yours…like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else? While you're already being absurd?"

"I wouldn't mind some _time_."

"No. No time," she said harshly. "That's a deal breaker right there."

I sighed longingly. "Just a year or two?"

She frowned and shook her head. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars…" I grinned at her grimace, and then took her hand and played with her fingers as I spoke. "I didn't realize there was anything you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious."

I was nervous. She never asked me for anything, and she knew I wanted to give her the world and everything in it. What could she possibly be so nervous about asking me for? It was obviously something I'd been apprehensive about in the past. I tried to think of anything she had asked me for that I hadn't wanted to give her and turned up a blank.

Suddenly, her face turned bright red and her heart sped up again. She looked down, refusing to meet my gaze.

"You're blushing?" I asked, surprised, as I stroked her cheek. "Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."

She bit her lip and refused to answer.

"Bella," I said, reproaching her now, reminding her that it was hard for me when she kept her thoughts to herself.

"Well, I'm a little worried…about after," she said in a shaky voice, finally looking up.

I tensed a little, unsure of where this was heading, but I kept my voice reassuring as I spoke. Whatever it was that she wanted, I wanted her to ask me for it.

"What has you worried?" I asked.

"All of you just seem _so_ convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town."

I winced at her choice of words.

"And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be _me_ anymore…and that I won't…I won't _want_ you the same way I do now."

And then I remembered the only thing she wanted that I hadn't wanted to give her, and I had a feeling of where this was heading now, but I thought it would be better to act clueless and hope I was wrong. Of course she _would_ ask for the one thing I was afraid to give her.

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I said, keeping my tone soothing.

"Edward," she said, and I could hear the nervousness in her voice. "There's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

I waited, but she didn't continue. I had a feeling I was right about where this conversation was heading, but I decided to still play the clueless card.

"Whatever you want," I encouraged anxiously.

"Do you promise?" she muttered.

_No, I don't promise. Not if you're about to ask me to have sex with you while you're still human._ "Yes," I said, trying to keep the confusion on my face. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

She didn't speak for a long moment. "You," she finally mumbled almost incoherently.

_Please, oh please, don't make me do this. Don't make me say no._ "I'm yours," I said, still trying to sound clueless. I tried to hold her gaze, but she looked away again.

She shifted forward so that she was kneeling on the bed and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately.

I kissed her back, but I tried to still act clueless, like I didn't know what was on her mind. I hoped she would drop it and not make me say no. Of course, this was Bella, and I should have known better. She unclasped her arms from my neck and, with trembling hands, started to undo the buttons on my shirt.

I froze, acting like I finally got it, although I'd had it for the past two minutes. I pushed her back and looked at her disapprovingly.

"Be reasonable, Bella," I pleaded with her.

"You promised—whatever I wanted," she tried, but I could tell she wasn't really expecting that to work.

"We're not having this discussion," I said, glaring at her while I refastened the two buttons she'd managed to open.

She clenched her teeth. "I say we are," she growled, yanking open the top button on her blouse.

I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides. "I say we're not," I said flatly.

We glared at each other for a long moment.

"You wanted to know," she said.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic," I lied. I'd known it was only a matter of time before we had this discussion. She'd tried before, but she'd always given in to my refusal much sooner.

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing _you_ want—like getting _married_—but I'm not allowed to even _discuss_ what I—"

While she was ranting, I pulled her hands together to restrain them in one of mine and put my other hand over her mouth. "No," I said, a little more harshly than necessary.

Bella looked down, blushing again. Her heart started to thump unevenly and I could see tears in her eyes.

I sighed and moved the hand I had over her mouth under her chin and pulled her face up so she had to look at me.

"What now?" I asked.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

I scrutinized her face, and saw the pain on it. Then I realized what was wrong. She'd made herself quite vulnerable just now, and I'd hurt her feelings by refusing her. Hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do right now. I wanted her, too, but I was afraid I would seriously injure or even kill her if I gave in. Much as I wanted to, I couldn't say yes.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked, shocked.

"No," she said, but I could tell she was lying.

I quickly took her in my arms and cradled her face between my hand and shoulder, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

"You know why I have to say no," I murmured soothingly. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" she asked doubtfully.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." I laughed once, a bleak laugh. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake…You're too desirable for you own good."

"Who's being silly now?" she asked me, the doubt still in her voice.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe?" I asked her. "Shall I tell you whose names would be on the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you."

Bella shook her head against my chest and grimaced. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject."

I sighed. Why couldn't she just let this go?

"Tell me if I have anything wrong," she said, trying just a little too hard to sound detached. "Your demands are marriage"—she made a face as she said the word—"paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster." She raised her eyebrows. "Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

I had a hard time keeping a straight face at her assessment. "Only the first is a demand. The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary little demand is—"

"Demand?"

"Yes, demand."

I narrowed my eyes. She wasn't fighting fair.

"Getting married is a stretch for me," she said. "I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "No," I said, trying to make my voice smooth. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's the problem," she insisted. "It won't be the _same_ when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know _who_ I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella," I promised.

She frowned. "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie—that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance—how can that be true?"

"It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood," I said, pretending to shudder at the thought. "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."

"But that will always be what I want most, won't it?" she pressed. "Blood, blood, and more blood!"

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true," I rebutted.

"Over eighty years later. What I meant was _physically_, though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself…after a while. But just purely physically—I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

I didn't have an answer to that. She was right. Even right now, when I was battling with myself against the overwhelming desire I felt to give in to her request, my throat was still burning with thirst.

"So I _will_ be different," she continued. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…" She twisted her head to kiss the palm of my hand.

I took a deep breath, trying to process what she'd just told me. The thing she wanted most in this world, more than even the basic essentials she needed to live, was to make love with me as a human. And I knew then, that though I would resist a little more and try to get her to give up, she was going to win.

"Bella, I could kill you," I said, unable to speak above a whisper.

"I don't think you could."

I narrowed my eyes. I was always so gentle around her that maybe she didn't realize just how strong I was. Had she forgotten the van I'd stopped from crushing her or the huge branch I'd yanked off the tree on our first visit to the meadow? I reached behind me and snapped one of the metal roses off of the bed frame. I held it up for her examination, gently closed my hand around it, and then opened it again. I offered her the metal, which was now a cast of the inside of my hand, like a piece of play-dough that had just been squeezed. A moment later, it crumbled to dust.

She glared at me. "That's not what I meant. I already _know_ how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"What _did _you mean then?" I asked, tossing the handful of iron sand to a corner of the room and staring into her eyes.

"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to…More that, you _don't_ want to hurt me…so much so that I don't think you ever could."

I was shaking my head before she was even done. "It might not work like that, Bella."

"_Might_," she scoffed. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

She stared into my eyes for a long moment. I tried to make them hard, like there was no possibility I was going to give in. But I was. I couldn't refuse her now, not when she was pleading me like this.

"Please," she finally whispered. "It's all I want. Please." She closed her eyes.

I decided it was time to let my guard down, to show her the war that was taking place in my brain. She opened her eyes when I didn't speak and saw the torn expression on my face.

"Please?" she whispered again, her heartbeat starting to race. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us _try_…only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you. I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just…_please_."

I tightened my arms around my angel and put my lips at her ear as I spoke. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you—and _this_ is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

"Then don't refuse."

I couldn't respond. I wasn't going to refuse, but now I was nervous, afraid that it wouldn't work like Bella was so convinced it would.

"Please," she repeated.

"Bella…" I breathed, shaking my head slowly, brushing my lips back and forth across her throat.

Her heart picked up more speed as she twisted so her lips reached mine. I took her face in my hands, the conflict and desperation I felt coming through in my kiss. She locked her arms around my neck and shivered against me. I couldn't stop kissing her. Not wouldn't, _couldn't_. I wasn't capable of it. She was the one who had to break the kiss, gasping for air. Even then, I just moved my mouth to her throat. I was beginning to feel cautiously optimistic. Maybe I would be able to do this. She unclasped her hands from around my neck and again started to undo the buttons on my shirt, but this time I didn't stop her. I shuddered with pleasure as she traced unseen patterns on my bare chest with her hands.

She pulled my mouth back to hers and I was just as eager as she was. I could do this. I had faith in myself.

It was then that a certain path occurred to me. This might be the key to getting her to marry me. I had promised to _compromise_, not just give her what she wanted. So I would make love with her while she was still human…but not until she married me.

I moved one of my hands from her face and wrapped it around her waist, straining her closer to me, trying to make it more difficult for her to reach the front of her shirt. But, of course, she still somehow managed it.

I locked my hands around her wrists and pulled her arms above her head as I pushed her down on the bed and moved my lips to her ear again. "Bella," I murmured. "Would you _please_ stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?"

"Not tonight," I said softly as I kissed her cheek and jaw.

"Edward, don't—"

"I'm not saying no," I assured her. "I'm just saying _not tonight_."

She was silent for a long moment as she tried to catch her breath. "Give me one reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," she finally said, still breathless.

"I wasn't born yesterday," I said with a chuckle. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am—clearly—much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore…you first."

She exhaled loudly. "I have to marry you first?"

"That's the deal—take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"

I wrapped my arms around her again, kissing her passionately, persuasively, and kept on kissing her until I could tell she was having trouble breathing.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she gasped when I stopped.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way," I said with a smirk. "You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen?" she grumbled. "I thought I was holding my own tonight—for once—and now, all of a sudden—"

"You're engaged," I finished.

"Ew! _Please_ don't say that out loud."

"Are you going back on your word?" I asked, pulling back to read her face. I smiled my most angelic crooked smile at her and somehow resisted the urge to laugh out loud. I was having fun with this.

"Are you?" I pressed when she didn't respond.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

_Happy_ didn't even begin to cover it. Had she just actually finally agreed to marry me? I smiled her favorite crooked smile again. "Exceptionally."

She groaned again.

"Aren't you happy at all?" I asked.

I was too happy to wait for her to respond. I kissed her again, enthusiastically.

"A little bit," she said when I let her speak. "But not about getting married."

I kissed her again, giddy with happiness. She'd agreed to marry me!

"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I laughed in her ear. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me," she pointed out.

"True." I kissed her again and kept going until her heart was racing so fast that I was afraid she would have heart failure.

"Look, Edward," she murmured breathlessly when I paused to kiss the palm of her hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny," I murmured against the inside of her wrist.

"What I'm saying is this—I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone—how often does that happen?—and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed…"

"Not tonight," I said again. I'd just thought of another reason, albeit much less important than me hedging my bets, to wait.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked.

"Of course I do."

Using the hand that I was still kissing, she pulled my face up so she could look at me.

"Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end." She frowned and muttered, "You always win."

I always won? Did she not realize what she'd just gotten me to agree to?

"Just hedging my bets," I said calmly.

"There's something else," she guessed. "Are _you_ planning to go back on your word?"

"No," I vowed. "I swear to you, we _will _try. After you marry me."

She shook her head and laughed glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama—twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

I looked at her warily, then quickly ducked down and pressed my lips against her shoulder. She'd guessed my other reason. Only it wasn't _my _virtue I was worried about. It was already too late for me. It was hers.

"That's it, isn't it?" She laughed. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her giggling.

"No, silly girl," I muttered against her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect _yours_. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous—"

"Let me ask you something," I interrupted. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she answered immediately.

"All right. Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissention about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?"

"It couldn't hurt," I said with a shrug. "Just in case."

She narrowed her eyes as she glared at me.

"Now, of course, it might be too late for me," I continued, "even if you are right about my soul."

"No, it isn't," she argued.

"'Thou shalt not kill' _is_ commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."

"Only the bad ones."

I shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone—"

"That _you_ know about."

I smiled but otherwise ignored the interruption. The thought of Bella killing even a fly was downright hilarious. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."

"Okay, but we weren't fighting over committing murder."

"The same principle applies—the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?"

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted…my virtue is all I have left." I smiled crookedly.

"I lie all the time," she pressed.

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you."

"I really hope you're wrong about that—because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun."

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely." I grinned.

"But what did you ever covet? You have everything."

Yes, I did have everything. I had Bella, which was all I cared about. The rest of the world could come tumbling down around me, all of my possessions could spontaneously combust, and I wouldn't care as long as I still had the angel that was in my arms right now.

"I coveted you," I told her. "I had no right to want you—but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire." I shook my head in mock horror.

"You can covet what's already yours," she told me. "Besides, I thought it was _my_ virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me…Well, I'll be damned—no pun intended—if I'll let them keep you out, too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," she insisted. "That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"

"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"

I smiled at her until she finally grunted and gave in.

"So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're _married_," she said unhappily.

"Technically, I can't ever _sleep_ with you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward."

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

"I think you have an ulterior motive."

I widened my eyes in fake innocence. "Another one?"

"You know this will speed things up," she said, her tone accusing.

I fought a smile as I responded. "There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever…but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie…and Renee! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I raised an eyebrow at her. Why did it matter what anyone thought when we'd be leaving soon afterwards and never returning? Couldn't she bear a few weeks of sidelong glances and a little gossip?

She suddenly shuddered, and I remembered her horror of public occasions.

"It doesn't have to be a big production," I told her, trying to ease her worries. "I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas—you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official—that you belong to me and _no one else_."

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she grumbled.

"We'll see about that," I said, smiling. "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

She swallowed loudly. "You suppose correctly."

I had to laugh at her shocked expression. "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough."

She glared at me suspiciously. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I said, unashamed. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable."

"Do you want to see it?" I asked, excited. I suddenly couldn't wait to see the ring my father had given my mother on Bella's finger.

"No!" she almost shouted.

My carefully casual expression fell ever so slightly, despite my determination not to let my disappointment and hurt show. I so wanted to give her the ring. But I supposed I deserved this. I had hurt her earlier when I had refused her. This was probably exactly how she'd felt when I'd said no to her at first.

"Unless you really want to show it to me," she amended.

"That's all right," I said, shrugging, still fighting to keep the hurt hidden. "It can wait."

She sighed. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."

Maybe reverse psychology would work here. I shook my head. "No."

She studied my face for a long minute. "Please?" she asked quietly. She touched my face lightly with the tips of her fingers. "Please can I see it?"

I narrowed my eyes, trying to act disgruntled. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I muttered. I was surprised I was able to keep my voice even, so happy was I right now.

I got up and knelt next to the small nightstand to get the box out of the drawer there. I climbed back on the bed with her and put an arm around her shoulder. With my other hand, I placed the small black box on her knee.

"Go ahead and look, then," I said, still trying to keep up the agitated façade.

She reached down and brushed her fingers over the top of the ring box. "You didn't spend a _lot_ of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

"I didn't spend anything," I assured her. "It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh," she said in a surprised tone, pinching the lid between her thumb and forefinger, but still not opening the box.

"I suppose it's a little outdated," I said in a playfully apologetic tone. "Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?"

"I like old-fashioned things," she mumbled as she lifted the lid.

She stared at my mother's ring with an awed expression, taking in the rows of diamonds that were arranged in an oval pattern on the narrow gold band. She stroked the gems absentmindedly.

"It's so _pretty_," she murmured.

_Excited_ didn't seem to quite cover the emotion I was feeling right now. "Do you like it?" I asked eagerly.

"It's beautiful," she said with a shrug. "What's not to like?"

I chuckled. I'd seen her awed appreciation before. I wasn't fooled by her apparent lack of interest now. "See if it fits."

She clenched her left hand into a fist.

"Bella," I sighed. "I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she grumbled, reaching for the ring.

But there was no way I was going to let _her_ be the first one to put that ring on her finger. I beat her to it, sliding the ring into place on the third finger of her left hand, and held her hand out to examine it.

It looked like it had been made for Bella, like it belonged on her finger. Of course, my take on this was slightly biased.

I was surprised I was able to keep my indifferent façade up as I spoke. I was so full of joy that I couldn't understand how I didn't burst into song.

"A perfect fit," I said. "That's nice—saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

She looked up at me, and I tried to keep up the casual pretense.

"You like that, don't you?" she asked suspiciously, fluttering her fingers in front of me.

I shrugged my shoulders, still trying not to show how full of joy I was. "Sure. It looks very nice on you."

She stared into my eyes, and that did it. The casual pretense disappeared and I let her see my unbearable joy. I couldn't contain it anymore. She'd stopped breathing, but I couldn't wait to let her catch her breath. I kissed her with exultant lips, victorious at last.

"Yes, I like it," I said, breathless, when I stopped to let her breathe. "You have no idea."

She laughed breathlessly. "I believe you."

Suddenly, it wasn't just enough to have this ring on her hand. I wanted to get down on one knee and ask Bella to marry me, the old-fashioned way, like they did in the movies. I'd asked her more times than I could count, but I wanted to do it officially, and I wanted to do it right, without her groaning or thinking I was cracking a joke. I'd never actually said the words, "Will you marry me?" It didn't feel complete without that. I wanted to actually ask the age-old question, and I wanted her to say yes to me when I did.

"Do you mind if I do something?" I murmured as I tightened my arms around my angel.

"Anything you want."

I let her go and slid off the bed.

"Anything but that," she complained.

I ignored her, taking her hand and pulling her off the bed, too. I stood in front of her with my hands on her shoulders. "Now, I want to do this right. Please, _please_, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me." I started to slide down onto one knee.

"Oh, no," she gasped.

"Be nice," I muttered.

She took a deep breath.

"Isabella Swan?" I said, looking up into her eyes with all the love and tenderness I could muster—more than I had thought I could ever feel.

I struggled to find the right words to say. How could I tell Bella how much I loved her? Nothing seemed appropriate. Nothing could describe the passionate love I felt for her. Instead of floundering for words to express my undying love and devotion to my angel, I decided to keep it simple.

"I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

Words couldn't possibly describe how happy that one simple word made me. I couldn't think of anything profound to say, to tell her how much it meant to me.

"Thank you," I said simply, taking her left hand and kissing each of her fingertips, then kissing my mother's ring, which was now hers.

Then I stood up and kissed her again, with a passion that might possibly have set the whole house on fire. Neither of us would have noticed.


	17. 16 Trail

16. Trail

The sun was bright against the window when Bella woke, the wind rocking the treetops until it looked like the whole forest was going to shake apart. I looked down at…my fiancée, trying to reassign last night as reality in my mind. It still seemed too good to be true, and in the light of day it seemed impossible that it could have actually happened. Had Bella really agreed to marry me? She'd given back the ring as soon as she could without hurting my feelings, but promised that it was only temporary. She would put it back on permanently soon.

"Good morning," I murmured when she looked up at me.

She smiled, but then worry creased her forehead. She had to leave a false trail to the clearing today, and then we would go to the meadow and camp out, waiting for the battle to be over. Even though I would be with her, she worried about everyone else, both vampire and werewolf.

"It's going to be fine, love," I told her reassuringly, rubbing her back. "But we do need to get up."

Bella groaned. I smiled. She always hated getting up after a night like last night. Perhaps she was as afraid as I was that it hadn't happened. Staying in bed made it easier to believe. But we had a job to do today. I pulled us up into a sitting position.

"I'll let you get dressed," I whispered.

I kissed her softly, then walked out of my room and headed downstairs to make her some breakfast. I didn't expect her to want it, nervous as she was, but I would try my best to get her to eat. She needed to eat something.

To my surprise, she did actually eat a few bites of the omelet I made for her with almost no prodding, and my family got home soon after I was finished doing the dishes.

Alice was in a particularly grouchy mood. Of course, my promise that Bella wouldn't have to tell anyone about us getting married had been flawed. It had been stupid of me not to factor Alice into the equation.

_How could you, Edward? How could you plan on sneaking off to Vegas to get married without telling me? _"I _think_"—Alice made a face as she used the uncertain word—"that you're going to want to pack for cold weather, Edward. I can't see where you are exactly, because you're taking off with that _dog_ this afternoon. But the storm that's coming seems particularly bad in that general area."

I nodded. I wasn't happy with Alice. I had a feeling she would say something to Bella, and I really didn't want her to. It would make my life so much more difficult.

"It's going to snow on the mountains," Alice warned me. _I can't believe you would let Bella do that to me. Why? Why would you not let me do your wedding?_

"Ew, snow," Bella muttered.

"Wear a jacket," Alice told Bella icily.

Bella looked at me, and I smiled. It was a little amusing. Alice was furious, and all because we weren't going to let her plan a party.

I went to pack. We had more than enough camping gear to choose from—props in the human charade. I picked the warmest gear possible: a down sleeping bag, and the tent with the thickest material I could find. I also grabbed a first-aid kit, a canteen, and several packets of dehydrated food, grinning when Bella made a face at them, and stuffed everything in a backpack.

Alice wandered into the garage, keeping her eyes on me the whole time. _I can't believe you're just going to go off to Vegas. How could you do that to me? I was so looking forward to doing your wedding when Bella finally agreed to marry you, and now you're just going to go to Vegas and have a fifteen-minute ceremony? It's not fair._

Alice continued to vent silently while I worked, but I ignored her. Although I would have preferred a traditional wedding, I didn't want to make this any more difficult for Bella than it already was. I knew that the only reason she'd agreed to this was because of our bargain last night, and that she was still very apprehensive about it. If I allowed Alice to get to her, she might back out. And a quick wedding in Vegas was better than no wedding at all.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket when I was done, handing it to Bella. "Why don't you call Jacob and tell him we'll be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us."

I didn't pay attention to the conversation. I simply didn't care at the moment. All I cared about was Alice destroying my happiness.

_Please, Edward. Please let me do your wedding. I promise I won't go overboard. I know how much Bella hates parties. But it would mean so much to me to do your wedding. Please, please, please!_

I frowned back at Alice, unhappy with her. Why couldn't she let this go?

Bella hung up a few minutes later and handed the phone back to me. "Billy said to tell you 'good luck'," she told me.

"That was generous of him," I said, breaking away from Alice.

"Bella, could I please speak to you alone?" Alice asked.

I clenched my teeth. "You're about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice. I'd really rather you didn't."

"This isn't about you," Alice spat.

I laughed angrily. Of course it was about me. It was only my wedding she was talking about.

"It's not," Alice insisted. "This is a female thing."

I frowned. I didn't want her talking to Bella.

"Let her talk to me," Bella said curiously.

"You asked for it," I muttered, laughing again to keep from yelling at Alice, and walked out of the garage, shutting the door behind me. Of course, I stayed close so I could hear the conversation.

"Bella?" Alice asked in a sad voice.

Oh, great. Alice was going to lay a guilt trip on her.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Bella asked, concerned by Alice's tone.

"Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do. You know that."

"Then why do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to get married without inviting me?"

"Oh," Bella muttered. "You know how I hate to make a big deal out of things. It was Edward's idea, anyway."

"I don't care whose idea it was," Alice spat. "How could _you_ do this to me? I expect that kind of thing from _Edward_, but not from you. I love you like you were my own sister."

I hissed. _Why_ was Alice doing this to me? She _knew_ how apprehensive Bella was about the idea of getting married. Why was she making this harder for me? Couldn't she just be selfless in this _one_ instance?

"To me, Alice, you _are_ my sister," Bella said in a reassuring tone.

"Words!" Alice growled.

"Fine, you can come. There won't be much to see."

_What? No. I want to do your wedding._

"What?" Bella demanded.

"How _much_ do you love me, Bella?" Alice asked, still in the sad tone. I really wanted to go in there and slap her.

"Why?" Bella asked, cautious now.

"Please, please, please," Alice whispered. "Please, Bella, please—if you really love me…Please let me do your wedding."

"Aw, Alice!" Bella groaned. "No! Don't do this to me."

"If you really, truly love me, Bella."

I growled quietly. So if Bella didn't let Alice do our wedding, it meant she didn't love her? Why was Alice doing this to _Bella_, not to mention me?

"That is _so_ unfair," Bella complained. "And Edward kind of already used that one on me."

"I'll bet Edward would like it better if you did this traditionally, though he'd never tell you that. And Esme—think what it would mean to her!"

I growled again. Of course, I would love to do this traditionally, but I had to think about Bella. This was already a huge sacrifice for her. But _why _did Alice have to bring Esme into this?

Bella groaned. "I'd rather face the newborns alone."

"I'll owe you for a decade."

"You'd owe me for a century!"

"Is that a yes?"

"No!" Bella groaned. "I don't want to _do _this!"

"You won't have to do anything but walk a few yards and then repeat after the minister."

"Ugh! Ugh, ugh!"

"Please?" Alice begged. "Please, please, please, please, please?"

"I'll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice."

"Yay!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands together.

And suddenly I saw the image Alice had seen of our wedding change into an over-the-top occasion, complete with flowers and satin bows everywhere. I groaned quietly. Even _I_ didn't like the version of the wedding Alice saw.

"That's _not_ a yes!" Bella growled.

"But it will be," Alice sang as she walked out of the garage.

"Edward!" Bella yelled as she came out of the garage. "I know you're listening. Get over here."

"Thanks so much, Alice," I said icily.

Bella turned to me, looking like she was going to let me have it with both barrels, but instead she wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. I felt her tears moisten my shirt.

"Vegas," I promised in her ear.

"Not a chance," Alice sang. "Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you are sometimes a disappointment."

"Don't be mean," Bella grumbled against my chest. "He's trying to make me happy, unlike you."

"I'm trying to make you happy, too, Bella. It's just that I know better what will make you happy…in the long run. You'll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived," Bella said, turning to look at Alice.

Alice laughed. "So, are you going to show me the ring?" She grabbed Bella's left hand, and, upon seeing it bare, dropped it just as quickly as she had grabbed it. "Huh. I saw him put it on you…Did I miss something?" She concentrated for half a second, furrowing her brow. "No. Wedding's still on."

"Bella has issues with jewelry," I said icily.

"What's one more diamond?" Alice said suddenly.

She was going to tell Bella that the charm on her bracelet was a diamond! _How_ could she do this to me? Payback for my plan to take Bella to Vegas?

"Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds," Alice continued, "but my point is that he's already got one on—"

"Enough, Alice!" I yelled, cutting her off, glaring at her menacingly. "We're in a hurry."

"I don't understand," Bella said. "What's that about diamonds?"

_Okay, Edward, I won't tell her she's got a five-carat diamond on her bracelet._ "We'll talk about it later," Alice said. "Edward is right—you'd better get going. You've got to set a trap and make camp before the storm comes." She frowned anxiously. _I wish you could bring something more than clothes to keep her warm. Like a space heater or an electric blanket. She's going to freeze._ "Don't forget your coat, Bella. It seems…unseasonably cold."

"I've already got it," I assured Alice.

"Have a nice night," she said, all of the animosity and deviousness gone from her voice. She was worried about Bella now.

I carried Bella in my arms as we took the long way to the clearing, the backpack in her usual spot. When we got to the edge, I set her down.

"All right. Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear picture of their path, and it won't take long for us to intersect it," I told her.

"North?" she asked.

I smiled and pointed her in the right direction. I stayed with her as she walked into the woods, walking a parallel line about twenty yards away. I knew she was scared, and I wished I could be there with her, to hold her and comfort her.

"Am I doing this right?" Bella called.

"Perfectly," I assured her.

She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out a few strands and draping them over the ferns. "Will this help?"

"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don't need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine."

"I've got a few extras I can spare."

We walked in silence for a few more minutes, the tension in the air so thick I felt like I could reach out and touch it.

Then I remembered Bella's distress this morning. "You don't need to let Alice have her way, you know," I told her.

"Don't worry about it, Edward," she said in a resigned tone. "I'm not going to leave you at the altar, regardless."

Surprisingly, I wasn't worried about that. Not anymore. If she had _any _doubts about me, she would never have agreed to marry me, and I knew that.

"That's not what I'm worried about," I told her. "I want this to be what you want it to be."

She didn't speak, but there was still a slightly distressed look on her face.

"Well, even if she does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet."

Bella giggled. "That does sound better."

I smiled. "See, there's always a compromise."

It took a while for us to reach the spot where the newborns would cross Bella's trail, but I didn't mind. I wasn't particularly looking forward to the next part of this day anyway. The part where Jacob would have to carry her for about nine miles without me there. I didn't like that one bit, not because I was doubtful of Bella's affections anymore, but because I knew Bella didn't particularly like the idea, either, and I wanted to be with her for every second of the day to comfort her.

Bella tripped when we were almost back to the clearing, and I smelled her blood. But drinking it didn't even enter into my consciousness. I was only worried about how badly she was hurt.

"Ouch! Oh, fabulous," she muttered.

"Are you all right?" I called.

"I'm fine. Stay where you are. I'm bleeding. It will stop in a minute."

I ignored her request, rushing to her side and taking off the backpack. "I've got a first aid kit," I told her. "I had a feeling I might need it."

"It's not bad. I can take care of it—you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable."

She still thought the scent of her blood made me uncomfortable? "I'm not uncomfortable. Here—let me clean it."

"Wait a second, I just got another idea." She pressed her hand against a rock as she spoke, making sure her blood got on it.

"What are you doing?"

"Jasper will _love_ this," she muttered, starting for the clearing and pressing her bleeding hand against everything she could reach. "I'll bet this really gets them going."

I sighed. She was going way overboard with this.

"Hold your breath."

"I'm fine. I just think you're going overboard."

"This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job."

We broke through the last of the trees into the clearing as she spoke. She grazed her hand against the ferns at the edge of the clearing.

"Well, you have," I told her, unable to keep my annoyance out of my voice entirely. "The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat your hand—you've gotten the cut dirty."

"Let me do it, please."

I took her hand and smiled as I looked at it. It wasn't deep at all. I was surprised she was able to bleed as much as she had. "This doesn't bother me anymore," I assured her.

She didn't speak as I cleaned the gash, and I continued to breathe in and out, keeping the smile on my lips. Her blood still smelled sweet to me, but it now smelled like perfume, not food.

"Why not?" she finally asked as I smoothed a bandage across her palm.

I shrugged lightheartedly. "I got over it."

"You…_got over it?_" she asked in shock. "When? How?"

It was hard for me to even describe how I got over the scent of her blood. I pursed my lips, looking for the right words. After a moment, I spoke.

"I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things."

"Did it change the way I smell to you?"

"Not at all. But…having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you…my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again."

Bella didn't speak. She just stared at me in shock.

I smiled. "I guess that you could call it a very educational experience." The wind tore through the clearing, and I reached into the backpack for her winter coat as I spoke. "All right. You've done your part," I said, holding the jacket out for her to slide her arms in. "Now it's out of our hands. Let's go camping!"

Bella laughed at my mock enthusiasm.

I took her hand and sighed a happy sigh at her touch. Walking all that way without being able to be near her had been agonizing. I led us to the other end of the clearing, where Jacob was waiting in the trees to take Bella up to our meadow.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Right here," I said, gesturing to the trees just as Jacob stepped out of the shadows. I frowned. "There had to have been a better way to do this."

"Too late now," Bella muttered glumly.

I sighed. I didn't want to leave my angel, not now when she was so worried.

"Hey, Jake," Bella greeted her friend when we got closer.

"Hi, Bella," he said, his tone formal and reserved. _Hey, bloodsucker._

"Hello, Jacob," I said politely.

"Where do I take her?" he asked.

I pulled the map I'd drawn out of a side pocket on the backpack and handed it to Jacob. He unfolded it. "We're here now," I said, pointing to the spot on the map. Jacob recoiled from my touch, but I pretended not to notice. "And you're taking her up here," I continued, tracing the route with my finger. "Roughly nine miles."

Jacob nodded once.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?"

_I live here. Of course I don't need it, bloodsucker. I know this area probably better than you do._ "No, thanks. I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going."

"I'll take a longer route," I told Bella. "And I'll see you in a few hours." I looked at her, some of the pain I was feeling at the separation coming through.

"See you," Bella murmured.

I left unwillingly and walked into the trees. I wished I could be close enough to them to hear what was being said on their way up there. But I couldn't be. I had to make sure that my scent was nowhere near Jacob's.

I wasn't worried about Bella choosing Jacob over me now. She wouldn't have agreed to marry me if she wasn't sure about her choice. The only jealousy I felt was at the fact that I couldn't be the one to carry my love up to our meadow. I knew she would have preferred that. Jacob irritated her when he tried to be too affectionate, and there was no doubt in my mind that he would take every advantage he could while he was carrying her. As if she needed another cause for stress right now.

I ran to the meadow and got to work making the tent as secure as I possibly could, preparing for the coming storm.

About an hour after we'd left, Jacob walked through the trees, carrying Bella. It was starting to snow.

"Bella!" I called out in relief, rushing to her side and all but yanking her out of Jacob's arms. He set her down before I could do that. "Thank you," I said to Jacob as I took Bella in my arms. "That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

Jacob shrugged. He was worried about Bella being warm enough. "Get her inside. This is going to be bad—my hair's standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?"

"I all but welded it to the rock," I assured him.

"Good." Jacob looked up at the sky and his nostrils flared. "I'm going to go change. I want to know what's going on back home." _I'm staying with you tonight, in case you need me for communication or to take care of Bella._

I just nodded to him, holding on tight to Bella and burying my face in her hair, relieved to be with her again at last.


	18. 17 Truce

17. Truce

Bella shivered violently as the wind shook the tent again. This was worse than Alice had foreseen. Of course, she hadn't been able to see exactly where we would be, but it was much worse than the area she had seen. The temperature was dropping rapidly, and Bella was fully dressed, with even her hiking boots still on, but still freezing.

"W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?" she asked through her chattering teeth.

"Two," I answered through unmoving lips.

I sat as far away from my love as I could in the small tent, afraid to even breathe on her when she was already so cold. I'd tried to talk her into making a run for it a few times, but she had refused. And she did have some valid reasons for staying. First, if it was this cold in the tent, protected from the wind, how much colder would it be if we were running through it? And I would have to carry her, which would make her even colder. Second, it would waste all of our efforts from this afternoon if I carried her away from here. She'd worried that the trail she had laid this afternoon would be lost, but I assured her it would still be plain to the coming army.

"What can I do?" I begged. I hated seeing her like this, knowing that I could do nothing for her, because me trying to warm her would be the opposite of helpful.

She shook her head.

Jacob whined from outside the tent. _She's going to get frostbite. It's freezing._

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-here," Bella said to Jacob.

"He's just worried about you," I told her. "He's fine. _His _body is equipped to deal with this."

"H-h-h-h-h-h," Bella tried to speak, but she couldn't get whatever she wanted to say out through her chattering teeth.

Jacob whimpered. _You've got to get her out of here, bloodsucker. She'll freeze to death._

"What do you want me to do?" I growled at Jacob. "Carry her through _that?_ I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-k-_kay_," Bella insisted.

I groaned; Jacob growled. She hadn't fooled either of us.

Jacob howled as another gust of wind shook the tent, and Bella cringed and covered her ears.

_I'll come in there and keep her warm. _His thoughts turned wistful as he imagined holding Bella and shielding her from the cold. Suddenly, the jealousy I thought had died flared up again, stronger than before. How I wished I could do that for my Bella!

"That was hardly necessary," I muttered. "And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," I called more loudly.

"Better than anything you've come up with," Jacob said, in his human form now. "_Go fetch a space heater_. I'm not a St. Bernard."

Jacob unzipped the tent door, letting the arctic air into the tent, along with a few snowflakes. Bella shivered so hard it looked like she was having a seizure. He came in holding a parka and quickly shut the door behind him.

"I don't like this," I told him. "Just give her the coat and get out."

"W-w-w-w-w-w," Bella stuttered, unable to get anything else out through her shivering.

"The parka's for tomorrow—she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen," Jacob said, dropping the parka by the door. "You called for a space heater, and here I am." He held out his arms wide. He was wearing only a pair of sweatpants. I didn't like this at all.

"J-J-J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze," Bella complained.

"Not me," he said cheerfully. "I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time." Suddenly, a very different way to make Bella sweat leapt to his mind.

I snarled, but Jacob paid no attention to me. He crawled to Bella's sleeping bag and started unzipping it.

I couldn't take it. Not after Jacob's little fantasy. I put my hand on Jacob's shoulder, restraining him. He recoiled from my touch and his arms flexed automatically.

"Get your hand off me," Jacob growled.

"Keep your hands off her," I answered in a threatening voice.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight," Bella said as another convulsion-like shiver rocked through her.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," Jacob snapped at me. _Get a grip, bloodsucker. You got a better idea?_

I hesitated. I didn't like the way Jacob was thinking about Bella right now, but he was right. I didn't have a better idea, and he would keep Bella warm. I dropped my hand and slid back to the corner of the tent, as far away from my love as possible.

"Watch yourself," I warned in a monotone.

Jacob chuckled. "Scoot over, Bella," he said as he zipped the sleeping bag open more.

Bella stared at him, anger plain on her face.

"N-n-n-n-n," she tried to protest.

I was glad Bella didn't want Jacob to be doing this, but I wasn't going to take her side right now. Now that I let myself look at it objectively, I realized the necessity of it.

"Don't be stupid," Jacob said, exasperated. "Don't you _like_ having ten toes?" He crammed himself into the sleeping bag with Bella, and she eagerly snuggled up close to him, absorbing all the heat she could.

Again, I was jealous. I knew Bella was freezing and Jacob was warm, but did she _have_ to be quite so close to him? And did he _have_ to hold her quite so tightly?

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," Jacob complained.

"S-s-s-s-sorry," she stuttered.

"Try to relax." He tightened his arms around her as she shivered again. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off." And he imagined it.

I growled. He was pushing his luck.

"That's just a simple fact. Survival one-oh-one." _Seriously, you think I'd do that now? If it were going to happen, I'd want it to be somewhere a bit more private._

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," Bella growled. "N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," he said smugly. "He's just jealous."

"Of course I am," I said, using every ounce of energy in me to keep my tone even. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks," Jacob said lightly, but then his tone turned sour. "At least you know she wishes it was you."

"True," I agreed.

Bella's shuddering slowed. She was already warmer. I would try to be nice to Jacob. I was glad she was warm. That mattered more than my jealousy or Jacob's little fantasies. I would let him have his moment, since it was keeping Bella from getting frostbite and hypothermia.

"There," Jacob said to her. "Feeling better?"

"Yes," Bella said, finally able to speak clearly.

"Your lips are still blue. Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask."

I sighed, but refrained from spewing the stream of profanities running through my head at him.

"Behave yourself," Bella muttered, pressing her face against Jacob's shoulder.

He flinched, and then jumped a moment later when he felt Bella's freezing feet against his leg. A moment later, he leaned his head down to warm Bella's ears with his cheek.

I tried my very best to keep calm, realizing the necessity of Jacob's presence. But it didn't mean I liked it. I didn't like it, not one bit. Jacob doing this for Bella made all of my irrational fears from before come flooding back. What if Bella left me for him? I knew she'd agreed to marry me, but whenever she was with Jacob, it seemed like…like she forgot all about me. I couldn't help but worry.

"Jake?" Bella mumbled sleepily. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious."

"Sure," Jacob said with a chuckle. Those were the same words he'd used when he asked Bella what it was like being in a relationship with me.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

_Rude? Why would that be rude?_ "Because my hair is longer," he explained, amused.

"Oh. Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

_Because you seem to like my hair better long._

I laughed quietly.

"Sorry," Bella said, yawning. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Jacob scoffed, annoyed. He knew I'd heard what he'd just thought. "Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well…I was growing my hair out because…it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," Bella said awkwardly. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be…inconvenienced."

He shrugged. "Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it." _And if anything helps my chances, I'll do it._

Bella's eyes started to droop shut and she started breathing more evenly.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," Jacob whispered.

"Seth is here," I muttered.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

I didn't answer, not even to correct him with Bella's proper title: fiancée. Jacob would find out about that soon enough.

Bella groaned groggily. "Stop it," she muttered.

No one spoke for a bit, but Jacob might as well have been shouting his little fantasies at me. _Why_ was he doing this to me when I couldn't order him away? When I couldn't break his face? _Why_ did I have to see Jacob's imagination taking off with these vulgar thoughts about Bella? Especially now, when I was trying to wrap my head around what I had agreed to last night. I tried to tune it out, not to pay attention, but it was like Jacob was shouting at me, making me watch and listen.

"_Please!_" I hissed. "Do you _mind_?"

"What?" Jacob asked, confused.

"Do you think you could _attempt_ to control your thoughts?" I whispered furiously.

"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, embarrassed. "Get out of my head."

"I wish I _could_. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down." _Aren't you jealous that I could do that with her and you can't?_

"Yes," I said, keeping my voice low so the anger that was radiating through my body wouldn't come through. "I'm jealous of that, too."

"I figured it was like that," Jacob whispered smugly. "Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"

Not after the bargain I'd made with Bella last night, it didn't. I chuckled. "In your dreams."

"You know, she could still change her mind," he said, taunting me. "Considering _all_ the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."

"Go to sleep, Jacob," I murmured. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable." _Hey, would you answer some of my questions, since we're stuck in here together tonight?_

"Maybe I would."

"But would you be honest?"

"You can always ask and see," I said, amused.

"Well, you see inside my head—let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair," Jacob said.

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy…it _has_ to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

"Of course it is," I told him, serious now. "Right now it's so bad I can barely control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."

"Do you think about it all the time? Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?"

"Yes and no." I decided to be fair and answer Jacob's questions honestly. He was right. It was only fair to let him see inside my head tonight, since I saw inside his all the time. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means I'm _always_ able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful." And thinking about it so much was making me go a little mental.

_Do you think she thinks about me a lot?_

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't _use_ that."

"I have to use whatever I can," Jacob muttered. "I'm not working with your advantages—advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

I smiled. "That helps."

"She's in love with me, too, you know."

I tensed. Was she? Had she told him that?

Jacob sighed. "But she _doesn't_ know it."

I relaxed. "I can't tell you if you're right."

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes…and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

The wind ripped around the tent again, and Jacob tightened his arms around Bella protectively, shielding her from the cold. I wished I could do that for her, but I was at least glad that someone was here who could.

"Thank you," I whispered sincerely. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am," Jacob whispered smugly.

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for _her._" And I wasn't about to give her up without a fight.

"So…at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the…less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

I thought about that for a moment. And I discovered that he was right, partially. "That was a part of it. But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt." Of course my moments of doubt came every time she left me to spend time with him, but I wasn't about to tell him that. "Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you—as safe as Bella ever is—it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

Jacob sighed. "I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me." _Although it _would_ be interesting to hear her reaction to it…_

I smiled. "I know."

"You think you know everything," Jacob muttered.

Suddenly I was unsure. The one thing I didn't know was the one thing I was most afraid of. "I don't know the future."

Jacob finally mustered up the courage to ask another question that had been burning in his mind. "What would you do if she changed her mind?"

"I don't know that either."

And I really didn't. Would I try to kill myself again? Would I watch and wait, hoping that he would imprint on someone? Would I just leave Forks, never to come back, always missing Bella, always thinking about her?

Jacob chuckled. "Would you try to kill me?" he asked sarcastically.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

_Well, I've thought about killing you…several times. But…_ "Yeah, you're right," he said with a sigh. "I know that's right. But sometimes…"

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea," I finished for him.

Jacob muffled his laughter by pressing his face into the sleeping bag. "Exactly," he agreed when he'd gotten control of himself. He paused again, then thought of another question. A question he knew deep down he'd have to answer for himself soon. "What's it like? Losing her? When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you…cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about," I said, the pain of the memory already breaking through in my voice. Jacob waited, so I sighed and continued. "There were two different times that I thought that. The first time, when I thought I could leave her…that was…almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close—I was fighting, but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back…just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy…I like to think that I could have gone away again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me…what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left—what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

Jacob didn't respond right away. "And the other time—when you thought she was dead?" _Will it feel like she's dead to me…when she's changed?_

"Yes, it will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as _Bella_ anymore. But that's who she'll be."

"That's not what I asked."

I didn't want to answer that question. I didn't know if I could. "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."

Jacob's arms flexed around Bella, trying to protect her from the cold and terrified of losing her. "But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You _want_ her to be human."

I spoke slowly, trying to figure out how best to explain why I was allowing Bella to make this decision. "Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me—if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a…living stone—hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back…

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years—it would seem like a very, very short time to me…But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us…waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants—at least, she thinks she does. I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very…stubborn. You know _that_. I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September…" I trailed off, losing steam.

"I like option one," Jacob muttered.

I didn't respond. Would Bella be better off with him? Maybe. She wouldn't have to change, to give up her soul to be with him.

"You know _exactly_ how much I hate to accept this," Jacob whispered, slowly, unwillingly, "but I can see that you do love her…in your way. I can't argue with that anymore.

"Given that, I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March…and if you'd waited another six months to check on her…Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan." _I was trying to be sympathetic, slowly making her see that she loved me, rather than forcing myself on her. I was going to let her be the one to make the first move, and I could tell she was getting close to it._

I chuckled. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

"Yeah," Jacob sighed. "But…" he whispered more quickly now, "give me a year bl—Edward. I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renee, and she could grow up, and have kids and…be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish…are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

"I _have_ considered it," I told him. "In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You _have_ done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live—forever—whichever comes first…

"I even asked Alice if she could see that—see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now.

"But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me?" he asked. "Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

Having this conversation with Jacob had made me realize exactly what I would do. I saw that Jacob really did care for Bella the way I did. I saw that she could be happy with him, if she chose to. But I also knew what she'd told me last night, and I knew the chances of her leaving me were slim to none.

"I would let her go," I told Jacob.

"Just like that?"

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, _you _might leave _her_ someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

Jacob snorted. _I think it's impossible for me to imprint. You have to _see_ the girl you're imprinting on, and I only ever see Bella, even when I try to see something else._ "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect…Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said," I told him, "I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do…You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

"Maybe…if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck the life out of the girl I love…well, no, not even then."

I chuckled.

After a moment of silence, I realized I did have a way to find out who the third wife was. Jacob could tell me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear it if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife…"

"What about it?" _The third wife was the wife of one of the ancient Quileute chiefs. A vampire was ravaging the town, killing everyone. There was a huge battle, and we were losing. So the third wife came to the battle and cut herself so that the vampire would be attracted to her blood. That was how we won that battle._

I hissed as I realized why Bella remembered that story so well.

"What?" Jacob demanded.

"Of course," I snarled. "Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept _that_ story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" Jacob mocked. "You know, they _are_. Then _and_ now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can't you guess which character Bella would identify with?"

It took Jacob a minute. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it." I sighed. "That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did," Jacob said, defensive.

"Neither side meant any harm," I said in a soothing tone.

"And when does _this_ little truce end? First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?"

We both paused, considering.

"First light," we whispered at the same time and laughed quietly.

"Sleep well, Jacob," I murmured. "Enjoy the moment."

Jacob pulled his fantasy from earlier to the forefront of his mind.

I groaned quietly. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," Jacob whispered sarcastically. "You could leave, you know—give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me to _help_ you sleep, Jacob?" I offered.

"You could try. It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't _that_ perfect."

Jacob laughed quietly. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

Instead of fighting with Jacob or breaking his face like I wanted to, I instead hummed loudly to myself. I hummed the lullaby I'd written for Bella, trying to drown out Jacob's thoughts.


	19. 18 Complications

18. Complications

I met Bella's gaze as evenly as I could when she woke up, but I couldn't entirely hide my pain. She'd been talking in her sleep, of course, and she'd mumbled about Jacob again. "Jacob, my Jacob," she'd said. _Her _Jacob had enjoyed that immensely.

Jacob was still asleep, and his arms were tightening around Bella involuntarily every time she tried to move. Or maybe it was voluntary. Maybe even in unconsciousness, he knew she was there and didn't want to let her go.

"Is it any warmer out there?" Bella whispered, trying not to wake Jacob.

"Yes," I told her. "I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."

Bella tried to reach the zipper of her sleeping bag, but she was no match for the dog's strength. "Some help?" she asked quietly.

I smiled. "Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?" I teased.

"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke."

I unzipped the sleeping bag quickly, even more anxious than Bella was for her to be out of Jacob's arms. Jacob fell out when I did so, hitting the ice-cold floor of the tent.

"Hey!" he muttered, rolling on top of Bella.

After his little fantasies last night, I couldn't take it. Plus, he was heavy and he was probably crushing Bella. I grabbed him and threw him against the wall of the tent, growling menacingly at him. He growled, too, defensive now.

"Stop it, stop it!" Bella yelled, putting a hand on each of our chests. I wrapped my hand around her waist, getting ready to yank her out of the way so I could have my round with Jacob.

"Stop it, now," Bella warned. "Jacob? Are you hurt?"

"Of course not!" he hissed.

She turned to me, and I was glaring angrily at her. How _dare_ she take the dog's side?

"That wasn't nice," she told me. "You should say sorry."

I widened my eyes in disgust. "You must be joking—he was crushing you!"

"Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me."

I groaned, but gave in. She was right. I had overreacted. I glared at Jacob. "My apologies, dog."

Bella shivered involuntarily, wrapping her arms around her chest.

"Here," I said, calm again. I took the parka Jacob had brought for her and wrapped it over her coat.

"That's Jacob's," she protested.

"Jacob has a fur coat," I told her.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind," he said, sliding back into Bella's sleeping bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

"It was your idea," I reminded him.

Jacob yawned and shut his eyes. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up." He smiled at the memory of Bella muttering his name unconsciously.

Bella winced and it took every ounce of energy for me not to have the same reaction. I wondered what she was dreaming about him, why she had muttered that, but I wasn't going to ask her. I didn't want her to know how it hurt me, or even that she'd said it.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," I murmured quietly.

Jacob opened his eyes again to look at me. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?" he asked smugly. _ My turn to do that, for once._

"It wasn't the worst night of my life." No, the worst night of my life would be the night when I'd realized I had to leave her, the night when I was looking at her beautiful sleeping form and knowing that I was about to rip her heart into tiny pieces. And then, remembering that, I remembered how Bella had reacted to my absence. Surely she wouldn't leave me now.

"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked sadistically.

"Possibly," I told him.

_Good. Revenge is sweet._ Jacob smiled and closed his eyes again.

"But," I continued, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the _best_ nights of my life. Dream about that."

Jacob opened his eyes to glare at me, trying to imagine what my top ten nights had been like. And, really, he wasn't too far off. "You know what?" he said, annoyed. "I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more."

Bella elbowed me in the ribs, warning me to stop.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then," Jacob muttered, making a face. "I need to talk to Sam anyway." He got on his knees and unzipped the tent door.

I saw a look of pain cross Bella's face as she watched him get ready to go. She was worried for her friend, worried that he wouldn't come home.

"Jake, wait—," she called, reaching for him, her hand sliding down his arm.

He jerked his arm away. _No, you've made your choice. You chose the bloodsucker._

"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"

"No," he said harshly, but then he caught sight of Bella's pained expression. "Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am." He laughed once, but there was no humor in it. "'Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place—have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." He snorted.

"Be careful—"

He shoved out of the tent, eager to be away from me. "Give it a rest, Bella," he muttered as he walked off. But he didn't leave. He stayed, wanting to listen to our conversation.

"How much longer?" Bella asked.

"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so," I said gently, but bleakly.

"We stay together. No matter what."

My eyes tightened involuntarily. I wondered if she would rather stay with Jacob. "No matter what," I agreed.

"I know," she said. "I'm terrified for them, too."

"They know how to handle themselves," I told her, forcing my voice to be light. "I just hate missing the fun," I lied. No, that wasn't the reason my eyes were tightening. The jealousy was consuming me now, even while Bella was right here with me. Bella's nostrils flared. "Don't worry," I crooned, putting an arm around her shoulder and kissing her forehead.

"Sure, sure."

I suddenly had an idea. If Bella was going to marry me anyway, why did I have to wait? My reasoning the other night seemed flawed now. And with Jacob listening…well, he wouldn't like hearing that one bit.

"Do you want me to distract you?" I breathed, running my fingers lightly along her cheekbone.

Bella shivered; it was still cold.

"Maybe not right now," I said, a little disappointed. I pulled my hand away.

"There are other ways to distract me," she urged.

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights. I'm curious."

I laughed. That was _sure _to upset Jacob. "Try to guess."

She shook her head. "There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

I smiled. "I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

Jacob groaned silently in his head. He was about to leave, but he was just as curious as Bella suddenly was.

"Really?" she asked, shocked.

"Yes, really—and by quite a wide margin, too."

Bella thought for a minute before answering. "I can only think of mine."

"They might be the same," I encouraged. I wanted to know what her ten best nights were, now, too. And I was sure Jacob would like hearing about _those_ even less.

"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."

That was on my list, too, but for a different reason than it was on hers. That was the night that she had first said she loved me, albeit unconsciously. "Yes, that's one of mine, too," I told her. "Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part."

"That's right. I was talking that night, too."

"Yes."

Bella blushed. "What did I say last night?" she whispered.

I shrugged. I really didn't want to think about it, or answer her question.

Bella winced. "That bad?"

"Nothing too horrible," I lied.

"Please tell me."

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."

"That's not bad," she agreed warily.

I guessed there was no help for it. "Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob.'" I was unable to keep the pain I felt out of my whisper, though I did try. "Your Jacob enjoyed _that_ quite a lot."

She stretched up and planted a kiss on my jaw. "Sorry," she murmured. "That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?" I was confused.

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me."

I was pacified now. Of course. Really, jealousy was driving me insane.

"That makes sense. Tell me another favorite night."

"Flying home from Italy."

I frowned, curious. Hadn't she been under the impression that I was acting from a guilty conscience and was going to leave her again? Why was that night on her list?

"Is that not one of yours?" she asked.

Oh, yes, it was. That was the day I had gotten my Bella back. Of course it was on my list. "No it _is_ one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

"Yes," she said, smiling. "But, still, you were there."

I kissed her hair. Of course she wouldn't leave me. Everything she'd ever told me about how much she loved me came flooding back now, and once again I felt silly for doubting her affections.

"You love me more than I deserve," I murmured.

She laughed. "Next would be the night after Italy."

I smiled, remembering how hard it was to convince her she was awake. "Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?"

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure," she said quietly. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"

Ha! _This_ would upset Jacob. He was already getting quite upset, listening to our declarations of love for each other, and he'd been upset by Bella's explanation of what "my Jacob" really meant. My best night so far was two nights ago, the night she'd finally agreed to marry me. That would probably push him over the edge.

"No," I told her. "That would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."

Jacob froze, and his thoughts became incoherent, a mixture of rage and sadness. He realized now just how strong my hold on Bella was, that she wasn't going to leave me, no matter how hard he tried.

Bella made a face.

"That doesn't make your list?" I asked. I would have thought it would, but obviously not for the same reasons.

She considered for a moment. "Yes…it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."

Jacob successfully kept back a howl of pain.

I smiled. "A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."

"I'll remind you to explain—in a hundred years."

That did it. Jacob had reached his limit, hearing about Bella become immortal.

"Are you warm enough?" I asked Bella.

"I'm fine. Why?"

Jacob couldn't take it anymore. He howled an earsplitting howl of agony and ran off.

"Because your space heater has reached his limit. Truce over," I muttered.

"Jacob was listening," she said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"You knew."

"Yes."

She stared blankly into space. I had hurt her by hurting her friend. Instantly, I felt sick for doing that. I should have let her tell him, in her own way and in her own time.

"I never promised to fight fair," I reminded her. "And he deserves to know."

Bella took her head in her hands.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked.

"Not you," she whispered quietly. "I'm horrified at _me_."

How could she blame herself for what I had just done? She didn't know Jacob was still there. I did. "Don't torment yourself," I pleaded.

"Yes, I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed."

"He knew what he was doing."

"Do you think that matters?" she asked me, blinking back tears. "Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm _hurting _him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again. I'm a hideous person."

I held her close. "No, you're not."

"I am! What's wrong with me?" she struggled against my arms and I unwillingly let her go. "I have to go find him."

"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold," I protested. I wasn't sure if her talking to Jacob now was the best thing anyway.

"I don't care. I can't just _sit _here." She put her boots back on and crawled to the door. "I have to—I have to…" she didn't finish her sentence as she unzipped the tent door and walked out.

Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles, looking at us accusingly. _Why did you feel the need to do that when he needs to focus right now? Couldn't it have waited?_

I followed Bella as she stumbled toward the trees. I knew she was right. I shouldn't have done that to her or to Jacob. I caught her wrist as she was at the edge of the trees and ignored it when she tried to yank herself free.

"You can't go after him," I told her. "Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless."

She twisted her wrist, trying to get free. Obviously, it was a fruitless endeavor.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "I'm sorry I did that."

"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have…When he…I shouldn't have…I…I…" she sobbed, unable to finish her sentence.

"Bella, Bella," I murmured, taking her into my arms. I felt her tears soak my shirt and I was horrified at myself for doing that to her. I'd known she wouldn't like what I did to Jacob, but I hadn't realized it would hurt her this much.

"I should have—told him—I should—have said—," my angel sobbed. "He shouldn't have—found out like this."

Maybe she should talk to him before he went to fight. Maybe it would help him to concentrate more, and it would certainly ease Bella's sadness.

"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time," I said, unable to keep the pain out of my voice. It wasn't pain at the thought of losing her. Even now, she was still saying that she was going to marry me. She just didn't want Jacob to have found out like that. No, my pain was at causing her pain. I never wanted to cause Bella pain again. I'd caused her too much already.

She nodded into my chest.

"Stay by the tent," I told her. "I'll be back soon."

I ran off, following Jacob's scent. He was almost to the clearing when I found him a few minutes later.

"Jacob, wait," I called.

He wheeled around and tried to attack me, his thoughts of wordless pain. I caught him in my arms, not tight enough to hurt him, but tight enough to restrain him.

"Listen, Jacob. I knew you were listening, but Bella didn't. She's very upset now. She didn't want you to find out like that. I'm sorry I did that, to you and to her. Please come back with me. She wants desperately to talk to you."

_Why? It won't change anything._

It was then that I realized that maybe it would change something. Maybe Bella wanted to talk to Jacob because she was going to leave me for him. If that was what she truly wanted, I wasn't going to stand in her way, although it would kill me to do it.

"Maybe it will. I don't know. Regardless, don't you want to ease her pain?"

_It won't help mine._

"Look, I know you don't want to do anything for me. I'm not asking you to do it for me. Do it for Bella. Do it for the girl you love."

_If I go back, I'm going to kiss her._

Good. I would really enjoy an excuse to break his face, for causing Bella this kind of pain. "I don't care. Do whatever you like when you get back. Just…please come back with me and talk to Bella. She deserves at least that much from you."

_Fine._

Jacob went to phase, then we ran back.

"I'm truly sorry, Jacob. That was very insensitive of me."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just get this over with."

I heard Seth growling, on the defense now, ready to protect Bella.

"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called from a distance.

I walked into our meadow first, followed closely by Jacob. He stood with his back to Bella, unable to look at her. Before I could speak to Bella, Seth gave me some news.

_Sam just told me that Alice said the Volturi are coming today. In two hours._

"Yes, that's all we need," I muttered to myself. Of course they'd come. I wasn't really surprised, but it was inconvenient, especially since we were fighting with the wolves. The Volturi didn't honor truces with werewolves. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."

Seth nodded once.

"Bella," I murmured. She looked up at me, and I tried to make my concern for her happiness the dominant feature on my face. "There's been a bit of a complication. I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go." As much as I tried to mask it, the agony I was in broke into my voice at the end.

"Hurry back," Bella whispered.

And with that, I was fairly confident what her decision would be. I kissed her lightly on the lips, then motioned for Seth to follow me into the forest.

"Don't listen to them, Seth. Let Bella have her chance to explain to Jacob without an audience."

_Of course not. I'm sorry, man. I know this isn't easy for you, either. But Jacob just wants what he thinks is best for Bella. If she's happy with you, really happy, he'll let it go._

"I know. He really is a good kid, and he's been a very good friend to Bella."

_Yeah, he has. But I can see what her decision's going to be. Don't worry. If you'd seen what she was like while you were gone, you wouldn't doubt your hold on her now._

"I've seen a little bit of it. Jacob decided to show me one day when he was angry with me for not letting Bella see him."

Seth snorted. _Yeah, he's never been known for his tact, has he? That wasn't very nice of him. But…the way she looked that night, Edward…there is no competition in her mind. There never was and there never will be._

I smiled at the young wolf. Maybe werewolves weren't so horrible after all. "Thank you, Seth."

Then I heard Sam's voice in Seth's thoughts. _It's going to be close, but we'll be able to get out of here before the Volturi get here. Tell Edward that the army has picked up speed and will be here in about ten minutes. And get Jacob down here._

_Jacob's taking care of something with Bella,_ Seth told him. _It's kind of important. He'll be there as soon as he can._

_I know,_ Sam told him. _Try to get him to hurry it up, though. We need him down here._

I nodded. "I doubt it'll be much longer," I told Seth. "Listen, when Alice tells Sam, you all have to run away from here as fast as you can. The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves, and I don't want anyone getting hurt."

Seth relayed this information to Sam, who agreed. Then he told me something else.

_Edward, I know you can hear me, _Sam thought._ Alice said you need to get back to Bella. She's more upset now than she was before._

"Come on, Seth. Let's get back. Thank Sam for me."

Seth passed on my gratitude as we hurried back to the meadow. I heard Bella's sobs as we got closer. What had that _dog_ done to my Bella now?


	20. 19 Fight

19. Fight

I unzipped the tent and walked in. Bella was lying face down across the sleeping bag, sobbing. I crawled up to her and stroked her knotted hair. She shuddered at my touch, but I knew it wasn't from the cold.

"Are you all right?" I asked anxiously.

"No. I want to die," she moaned.

I winced. No matter how badly Bella was hurting, death was hardly the solution. "That will never happen. I won't allow it."

She groaned. "You might change your mind about that."

"Where's Jacob?" I asked. He obviously wasn't here, since Alice had seen Bella.

"He went to fight," she muttered, still not looking at me.

Then Jacob phased, and I saw why Bella wanted to die. She had asked Jacob to kiss her, and she had kissed him back. Passionately. The way she usually kissed me.

"Oh," was all I could say. I wasn't mad at her. There was only room for sadness, sadness that emanated from every pore of my body. It was my fault, all of it. If I'd never left her, she wouldn't have bonded with him, and none of this would have happened.

Then I saw more. Jacob had gone to great lengths to make sure his face stayed intact after the kiss. He had threatened to "take himself out of the picture" during the fight. She had begged him not to, and he had told her that if she asked him to kiss her, he wouldn't commit suicide. Of course, he was lying. He wouldn't have done that. He was nowhere near that noble.

I saw then that Bella did love Jacob. Not as much as she loved me, but she did love him. Enough that she would kiss him, knowing how much it would hurt me, because she didn't want him to kill himself. It hurt to realize that, but I had made it necessary. I couldn't be mad at her. I couldn't even be mad at him for trying. He was fighting too, just as hard as I was.

I chuckled reluctantly. "And I thought _I_ fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics." I brushed my hand softly against the part of her cheek that was exposed. "I'm not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn't asked him, though."

"Edward," she whispered into the sleeping bag, still refusing to look at me. "I…I…I'm—"

"Shh," I hushed her, stroking her cheek again. "That's not what I meant. It's just that he would have kissed you anyway—even if you hadn't fallen for it—and now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."

"Fallen for it?" she mumbled.

"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?"

She finally raised her head to look at me, and I tried my best to make my expression understanding rather than agonized. I didn't want her to see my pain. She was in enough pain of her own. She knew she'd hurt me, and she felt horrible.

"Yes, I did believe that," she muttered, looking away.

I laughed softly again. "You're such a bad liar, you'll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" Bella whispered. "Why don't you hate me? Or haven't you heard the whole story yet?"

"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look," I said, using all of my energy to make my voice light. "Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."

She closed her eyes and shook her head against the floor of the tent.

I stroked her hair again. "You're only human."

"That's the most miserable defense I've ever heard."

"But you _are_ human, Bella. And, much as I might wish otherwise, so is he…There are holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."

"But that's not _true_. That's what makes me so horrible. There are no holes."

"You love him," I murmured. I knew it was true, no matter whether she would deny it or not.

"I love you more," she said in an agonized voice.

I also knew that. If she loved Jacob more, he would be here, and I would be down there, begging one of the newborns to kill me.

"Yes, I know that, too. But…when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark—on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences."

"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can't stand it."

I didn't want Bella to suffer anymore. I wanted to make the sadness go away. "What would you like me to say?"

"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay."

I couldn't do that. I couldn't hate my Bella, and I wasn't disgusted with her. I understood exactly why she'd done what she did.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I can't do that."

"At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it."

I couldn't do that, either. "No," I murmured gently.

She nodded. "You're right. Keep on being too understanding. That's probably worse."

I didn't speak. Everything I said seemed to make her feel worse. Then I heard Seth's thoughts. The newborns were almost to the clearing.

"It's getting close," Bella said.

"Yes, a few more minutes now." Then I realized what I could say to make her feel better. I knew how I could make her happy. I would let her split her affections between us, if she wanted to. "Just enough time to say one more thing…_I_ can be noble, Bella," I whispered. "I'm not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that's better. Don't let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision."

She pushed up off the floor, shoving herself onto her knees. "Dammit, stop that!" she shouted.

My eyes widened involuntarily in surprise. "No—you don't understand. I'm not just trying to make you feel better, Bella. I really mean it."

"I _know_ you do," she groaned. "What happened to fighting back? Don't start with the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!"

"How?" I asked, trying not to let my sadness show.

She scrambled into my lap, throwing her arms around my neck. "I don't care that it's cold here. I don't care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!" And then she eagerly, almost violently kissed me.

I knew what she wanted me to do, but I couldn't do it, not now. Not in reaction to Jacob. And not while I could still smell and taste him on her. "Careful, love," I murmured.

"No," she growled.

I gently pushed her face a few inches back and stared into her eyes. All I saw there was sadness, agony. I knew she loved me. She didn't have to prove it.

"You don't have to prove anything to me," I assured her.

"I'm not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want _every_ part." She wrapped her arms around my neck again and strained her neck to kiss me.

I kissed her back this time, but I was hesitant. I couldn't do what she wanted to now. For many reasons. Her impatience grew more pronounced, and I moved to restrain her.

"Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that," I suggested calmly.

"Why not?" she grumbled, dropping her arms.

"Firstly, because it _is_ cold," I said, grabbing the sleeping bag and wrapping it around her like a blanket.

"Wrong. First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."

I chuckled. She was finally starting to sound like herself again. "All right, I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly…well, you do actually stink, love." I wrinkled my nose.

Bella sighed.

"Fourthly," I murmured, trying to make my voice low enough that Seth wouldn't hear. "We _will_ try, Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob Black."

She cringed and buried her head against my shoulder. I tightened my arms around her.

"And fifthly," I continued.

"This is a very long list," she grumbled.

I laughed. "Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?"

Seth howled outside the tent. He wanted to join his brothers in the fight. Bella stiffened and clenched her good hand (well, at least better than the other one) into a fist. I took it and gently smoothed her fingers out.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," I promised. "We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn't truly believe that, I would be down there now—and you'd be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines."

"Alice is so small," Bella moaned.

I chuckled. "That might be a problem…if it were possible for someone to catch her."

Seth started to whimper, salivating to join the pack.

"What's wrong?" Bella demanded.

"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them."

Bella scowled in Seth's direction. She didn't understand why we were all so eager to fight.

I started focusing more intently on Seth's thoughts now, so I could narrate the fight to Bella. "The newborns have reached the end of the trail—it worked like a charm, Jasper's a genius—and they've caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they're splitting into two groups now, as Alice said. Sam's taking us around to head off the ambush party," I realized that I was so intent on what I was hearing that I was using the pack plural. I looked down at my angel, who had stopped breathing and looked terrified. "Breathe, Bella," I told her.

She tried to breathe, and I could tell she was pacing her breaths with Seth's so she would have some sort of measure of what was normal breathing.

"The first group is in the clearing," I told her. "We can hear the fighting."

Her teeth clenched.

I laughed as I heard Emmett's euphoria at killing the newborns. "We can hear Emmett—he's enjoying himself. The second group is getting ready—they aren't paying attention, they haven't heard us yet."

Then I heard the newborns. They'd caught Bella's scent at the edge of the clearing and they were supposed to make sure she didn't escape. I growled.

"What?" Bella gasped.

"They're talking about you," I said through clenched teeth. "They're supposed to make sure you don't escape…Nice move, Leah! Mmm, she's quite fast. One of the newborns caught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn. Sam's helping her finish him off. Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on the defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us. Both sides are feinting…"

Jacob was trying to lead some of the wolves now, showing off a little bit. "No, let Sam lead," I said in response to Jacob's actions. "Stay out of the way. Separate them—don't let them protect each other's backs."

Seth whined, still eager to join them.

Jacob and Sam were now having the wolves drive the newborns toward the clearing. "That's better, drive them toward the clearing," I approved. Bella twined her fingers through mine, and I tightened my hold on her, glad I was here with her.

Then I smelled two scents I recognized, neither of them scents I was pleased to smell. It was Victoria and whoever it was that had been in Bella's room. And they were coming closer.

I froze at first, then sprang up and ripped out of the tent. It was definitely right of me to have stayed here. How could I have ever thought of joining my family? I'd somehow guessed that someone would find Bella during this.

Seth looked at me. _Guess I get to fight some vampires after all. I'll go hide in the woods and surprise them when the time is right. Don't worry, Bella will be fine._

"Go, Seth!" I whispered urgently. His idea of surprise was perfect.

I flew as fast as I could to the face of the cliff and set my love down there, holding a defensive posture in front of her.

"What?" Bella whispered, terrified.

"Victoria," I snarled. "She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch—she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

I shifted toward the direction Victoria and her companion—Riley was his name, or so I read in his thoughts—were coming in. I couldn't pay much attention to Riley, because Victoria was there right with him, staring at Bella with sadistic pleasure, longing for, craving for, Bella's death.

Victoria's plan was to have Riley attack me, and then to kill Bella when I was sufficiently distracted. I wished there was some way to signal for Seth, rather than to just trust him to use his instincts.

Bella's heart sped up. Apparently she realized what Victoria's plan was, too.

Then I realized that if I could distract Riley, I might be able to buy myself some time for Seth to get here and help me.

"Riley," I said in a soft voice.

He froze, looking at me.

"She's lying to you, Riley," I told him. "Listen to me. She's lying to you just like she lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that she had _you_ lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she's lied to you, too?"

_She loves me. She wouldn't lie to me, would she?_

Victoria was even more cunning than I gave her credit for. She'd lied to Riley, made him believe that she loved him so that he would help her.

"She doesn't love you, Riley," I said in a soft, almost hypnotic voice. "She never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her."

Victoria bared her teeth at the mention of her dead mate, staring intently at Bella. I had killed her mate, so she wanted to kill my mate in retribution.

Riley glanced at Victoria. _Maybe he's right. She doesn't seem like she really loves me. Not the way he loves the girl. I can see that._

"Riley?" I asked, and he turned his gaze back to me. "She knows that I will kill you, Riley. She _wants_ you to die so that she doesn't have to keep up the pretense anymore. Yes—you've seen that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in her eyes, suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch was a lie."

I moved a few inches toward the boy, but still made sure I was safely between Victoria and Bella. Victoria's gaze zeroed in on the gap between Bella and me and I repositioned myself in front of my love.

Riley responded by repositioning himself, getting ready to attack me.

"You don't have to die," I told Riley. "There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies."

_I'm here, man,_ came Seth's thoughts. _I won't let anyone touch Bella. You're doing great._

I slid my feet forward and to the side, trying to make Victoria think that she was going to get what she wanted.

_I'll be there when I see one of them about to attack, so I can catch them off-guard, _Seth told me.

"Last chance, Riley," I whispered.

_Victoria, please tell me it isn't true. _ Riley looked at Victoria, pleading in his eyes.

"He's the liar, Riley," Victoria told him. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."

Upon hearing Victoria's false assurance, Riley's eyes went blank of all emotion and he tensed himself to attack.

_Take Victoria,_ Seth told me. _I've got this leech._

Seth growled as he sprang across the clearing, knocking Riley to the ground. He started ripping and tearing at the vampire, managing to mangle one of Riley's hands before Riley could respond.

"No!" Victoria shrieked. _A werewolf?_

I turned my attention to Victoria, who was so angry she looked deranged. She knew she would most likely lose now.

"No," she growled as I moved toward her, blocking her path to Bella.

We began moving back and forth, almost dancing. Victoria sashayed back and forth, trying to find a hole in my defense, but I always picked her moves out of her head and moved a fraction of a second before she did, not giving her enough time to let her change her course. Victoria started backing toward the trees, realizing that she was no match for me.

"Don't go, Victoria," I said in the same gentle purr as I had used with Riley. "You'll never get another chance like this." Although this wasn't much of a chance, because I would die to protect Bella if I had to.

She bared her teeth and hissed at me, but she seemed unable to move farther away from the girl she had been hunting for a year.

"You can always run later," I purred again. "Plenty of time for that. It's what you do, isn't it? It's why James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for escaping. He shouldn't have left you—he could have used your skills when we caught up to him in Phoenix."

She snarled at the memory of her dead mate.

"That's all you ever were to him, though," I continued. "Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone who had less affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to him. I would know." I half-smiled as I tapped my temple.

Victoria screeched at this, refusing to believe me. She darted out of the trees again, her desire for Bella overriding all else, feinting to the side, trying to get around me. I responded and our little dance began again.

All of a sudden, I heard Seth yelping in pain. Riley had cracked his bone, but it was already mostly healed. It wasn't bad.

_Don't worry about me, man. I'm fine. Stay focused on Victoria._

Victoria was suddenly interested in Riley's fate, and started backing me toward my love again. She was trying to judge the distance between Riley and Bella, seeing if she could possibly order Riley to kill her.

Seth circled around, brushing his tail against my back. _I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I can handle this little punk._

_He'll turn on you,_ Victoria thought. _Werewolves can't be trusted._

"No, he won't turn on me," I told Victoria, sliding closer in front of Bella as I spoke. "You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us."

I saw a vision of James tracking a real werewolf, not a shape-shifter like the Quileutes, across Siberia in Victoria's mind. The werewolf had almost killed James.

I'd figured out pretty early on that the Quileutes were not real werewolves, but shape-shifters. They were part wolf, but their phasing could be controlled, where a real werewolf's phasing could not.

"Look more closely, Victoria," I purred. "Is he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, then began flickering from me to Bella to Seth, not believing what she was hearing. "Not the same?" she snarled. "Impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible," I murmured. "Except what you want. You'll never touch her."

Victoria tried to duck around me to Bella, but of course I was in place to stop her as soon as she'd thought of the plan. Her face contorted in frustration, and then she shifted lower into a crouch and stalked deliberately toward my angel.

I closed in on Victoria, increasing the tempo of the dance, trying to distract her. She kept making small mistakes, but always corrected them before I could use them to my advantage.

I could see Riley in my peripheral vision, distracted from his fight with Seth, anxious for Victoria. Seth took advantage of his distraction and struck, crunching off another piece of him. Riley bellowed in pain and struck Seth in the chest with such force that it knocked him against the cliff face. He whimpered and I worried that he was hurt.

_I'm fine, man. Really. I'm just faking, _Seth assured me. He tried to get up again, to attack Riley as Riley came from him.

Suddenly, I heard Bella gasp, and I risked a quick glance back. I saw Bella sitting wide-eyed in terror, holding a sharp shard of rock against her left arm, getting ready to cut herself. If I could have had a heart attack, knowing what Bella was about to do, I would have. I knew Bella was scared that one of us was hurt. Maybe if I could show her that Seth and I were both fine, she wouldn't do this. Using all my effort, I sighed the exasperated sigh I knew she would recognize instead of screaming in terror like I wanted to, and broke off from the dance with Victoria to help Seth with Riley.

Victoria went back to a tree, climbing it quickly so she could spring on Bella, but a branch knocked her back down. She landed on her feet and sprang at Bella.

I rushed with inhuman speed to Riley and then planted my foot against his back and heaved, yanking off one of his arms, which caused him to utter a bloodcurdling cry of pain. I threw it at Victoria at just the right moment, and the impact of the collision was enough to knock her out of place while she was in the air. She landed on her feet, ready to spring again, but I was already in place in front of Bella. Bella still had the rock in her hand, but I could tell she was frozen in terror, unable to move, and she wouldn't hurt herself. At least she had seen that I was all right. And I had given Seth an advantage. He would be able to finish Riley off easily now. With an earsplitting screech, Riley lost his other arm.

"Victoria!" Riley yelled, agonized. Victoria didn't even spare a glance for him.

_What the _hell _was Bella thinking? _Seth launched himself at Riley, knocking him into the trees. Riley, having no arms, was defenseless. He was at Seth's mercy, and Seth was not being merciful. He continued to screech until Seth tore his head off.

Victoria realized that she was on her own now, and she knew she was no match for Seth and I combined. She started to retreat toward the trees, throwing one agonized stare of longing toward Bella.

But I wasn't going to let her get away that easily. "No," I purred. "Stay just a little longer."

That did it. She wheeled and ran toward the forest, but I was faster. I caught her unprotected back just at the edge of the trees and scraped my teeth once across her neck, gracefully disconnecting her head from the rest of her body.


	21. 20 Agony

20. Agony

I forced myself to keep my eyes off Bella as I dismembered Victoria's headless corpse. I knew she must be terrified of me, having seen me like that. I hadn't wanted her to see any fighting. But I wanted more than anything to go to her, to hold her and comfort her, and to tell her that it was all over.

I threw all of the pieces of Victoria on a pile of wood and then went to help Seth gather up the pile of Riley. Seth came back with me, carrying Riley's torso in his mouth. I pulled my lighter out of my pocket and lit the wood on fire; it caught at once.

"Get every piece," I told Seth.

We scoured the campsite together, occasionally tossing small pieces of vampire onto the burning mass. I forced myself to keep my eyes on my work and not to look at my angel.

We finished in about five minutes. Seth snickered and then grinned. _We got 'em!_

I smiled, stretching out my arm in a fist. Seth bumped his nose against it.

"Nice teamwork," I murmured.

Seth laughed.

Then I took a deep breath, turning to look at Bella. She was still frozen in place with the rock in the hand that still had a brace on it. I was sure she'd re-broken her knuckle, the way she was gripping that rock. I moved slowly toward her, with my palms up and facing out.

"Bella, love," I said in the softest, most gentle tone possible. "Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don't hurt yourself."

I hesitated a few feet from her, my hands in the air. How frightened she must be of me! I wished she hadn't had to see that. I wished she hadn't had to see _me_ like that. After a few seconds, Bella dropped the rock, and I relaxed a little, but moved no closer to her.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella," I murmured. "You're safe. I won't hurt you."

She stared at me, her expression of blank confusion.

"It's going to be all right, Bella," I told her. "I know you're frightened now, but it's over. No one is going to hurt you. I won't touch you. I won't hurt you."

She blinked repeatedly and finally spoke. "Why do you keep saying that?" She got to her feet and staggered a step toward me.

I leaned away from her advance, thinking that touching her would be the opposite of helpful at the moment.

"What's wrong?" she whispered. "What do you mean?"

I was confused now. "Are you…Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Afraid of you? _Why?_"

She staggered forward another step and tripped over her own feet. I caught her and held her close as she buried her face against my chest and began sobbing.

"Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry. It's over, it's over," I murmured.

"I'm fine," she gasped. "I'm okay. I'm just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute."

I tightened my arms around my angel. I didn't know what to say to her. I just whispered, "I'm so sorry," over and over again.

She just held on to me for a few more minutes, and then she started kissing me—my chest, my shoulders, my neck, every part of me that she could reach.

"Are you okay?" she asked between kisses. "Did she hurt you at all?"

"I am absolutely fine," I promised her, burying my face in her hair. It was all over now. She was finally safe.

"Seth?" she asked.

I chuckled. "More than fine. Very pleased with himself, in fact."

"The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?"

"All fine. It's over there, too. It went just as smoothly as I promised. We got the worst of it here."

"Tell me why," she said, confused. "Why did you think I would be afraid of you?"

"I'm so sorry," I murmured. "So sorry. I didn't want you to see that. See _me_ like that. I know I must have terrified you."

It took her a minute to respond. "Seriously? You…what? Thought you'd scared me off?" She snorted.

I put my hand under her chin and tilted her face up to read her expression. All I saw there was concern and relief. Concern for us and the wolves, and relief that it was over. None of the terror I'd thought I would find.

"Bella, I just—" I hesitated, not wanting to say what I'd just done out loud. "I just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not twenty yards from you. That doesn't _bother_ you?" I frowned.

She shrugged. "Not really. I was only afraid that you and Seth were going to get hurt. I wanted to help, but there's only so much I can do…"

I couldn't keep back my anger, though I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't say anything to her about that. She had been so frightened, and she probably hadn't completely known what she was doing.

"Yes," I said in a clipped tone. "Your little stunt with the rock. You know that you nearly gave me a heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that."

"I wanted to help…Seth was hurt…"

That was why she'd done it! Of course! She hadn't been able to read Seth's thoughts and know that he was feigning his injury. "Seth was only feigning that he was hurt, Bella. It was a trick. And then you…!" I just shook my head, unable to finish my sentence. "Seth couldn't see what you were doing, so I had to step in. Seth's a bit disgruntled that he can't claim a single-handed defeat now."

"Seth was…faking?"

I nodded sternly.

"Oh."

We both looked at Seth, who was politely ignoring our conversation, staring at the flames. He was still feeling very pleased with himself.

"Well, I didn't know that," she said defensively. "And it's not easy being the only helpless person around. Just you wait till I'm a vampire! I'm not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time."

A dozen emotions flew through my mind: anger, sadness, fear, relief, pain…and then I decided it would be best to settle on amusement. "Next time? Did you anticipate another war soon?"

"With my luck? Who knows?"

I rolled my eyes, but I was on cloud nine. It was over. We were safe. Bella was finally all right.

"Hold on," Bella said a moment later. "Didn't you say something before—about a complication? And Alice, needing to nail down the schedule for Sam. You said it was going to be close. What was going to be close?"

I looked at Seth just as he turned around to give me an update on the Volturi's arrival. _It'll be about fifteen minutes. Enough time for us to get out of here and you to get to the clearing. But you two need to get down there._

"Well?" Bella asked.

"It's nothing, really," I said quickly. "But we do need to be on our way…"

I started to pull my love into place on my back, getting ready to run to the clearing, but she stiffened and pulled away.

"Define nothing," she demanded.

I turned and took her face between my hands. "We only have a minute, so don't panic, all right? I told you that you had no reason to be afraid. Trust me on that, please?"

She nodded, but she was already starting to panic. "No reason to be afraid. Got it."

I contemplated just picking her up and running to the clearing, but before I could, I saw something else in Seth's mind.

Leah had seen another newborn, who had hidden in the forest and decided to attack him. Seth whined as his sister attacked the newborn, knowing that she was in danger and couldn't handle it alone. Then Jacob saw Leah fighting and ran to help her, knocking her out of the way.

"No," I gasped. "Don't—!"

The newborn got his arms around Jacob and was crushing him. Seth let out an agonized howl of pain, and I fell to my knees, taking my head in my hands, feeling the agony as well, since I was concentrating so intently on Seth's thoughts.

I was barely conscious of Bella screaming in terror, or of her trying to pull my hands away from my face. Sam and Paul got to Jacob in time to save him, but not before the newborn crushed his right side almost completely.

"Edward! Edward!" I heard Bella call; it sounded like it was far away.

Using all my effort, I focused on her and pulled my clenched teeth apart. "It's okay. We're going to be fine. It's—"

Sam and Paul were trying to move Jacob now, and every movement sent a spasm of pain through Jacob, and so through me.

"What's happening?" Bella cried.

"We're fine. We're going to be okay," I gasped. "Sam—help him—"

I saw Bella sag, losing control of her legs, and I caught her before she could hit the rocks beneath her. I sprang to my feet, preparing to run to the clearing. Alice had just told Sam that we had ten minutes before the Volturi arrived.

"Seth!" I shouted.

_I've got to go down there. I've got to make sure Leah's okay._

"No!" I ordered. "You got _straight home_. Now. As fast as you can!"

Seth whimpered. _But Leah...and Jake…_

"Seth. Trust me."

He stared into my eyes for a second, trying to decipher what was going on in my head. But I couldn't speak to explain it. Finally, Seth decided to trust me and ran off toward La Push as fast as he could go.

I started running in the opposite direction, toward the clearing, hoping and praying we would make it in time. I held Bella in my arms, guessing that at the moment she lacked the basic motor skills necessary to ride on my back, holding on to me.

"Edward," Bella said in a strained voice. "What happened, Edward? What happened to Sam? Where are we going? What's happening?"

Trying to avoid the first question, desperate to not have Bella know that Jacob had been hurt, I answered her second question. "We have to go back to the clearing," I said in a low but gentle voice. "We knew there was a good probability of this happening. Earlier this morning, Alice saw it and passed it through Sam to Seth. The Volturi decided it was time to intercede."

Bella stared at me, dazed and horrified.

"Don't panic. They aren't coming for us. It's just the normal contingent of the guard that usually cleans up this kind of mess. Nothing momentous, they're merely doing their job. Of course, they seem to have timed their arrival very carefully. Which leads me to believe that no one in Italy would mourn if these newborns _had_ reduced the size of the Cullen family," I said bleakly. "I'll know for sure what they were thinking when they get to the clearing."

"Is that why we're going back?" Bella whispered. She flinched, and I tightened my hold on her.

"It's part of the reason. Mostly, it will be safer for us to present a united front at this point. They have no reason to harass us, but…Jane's with them. If she thought we were alone somewhere, away from the others, it might tempt her. Like Victoria, Jane will probably guess that I'm with you. Demetri, of course, is with her. He could find me, if Jane asked him to."

A strange sound that was a cross between a scream and a sob came out of my love's throat.

"Shh, Bella, shh," I murmured. "It's all going to be fine. Alice can see that."

"The pack?" she asked.

"They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves."

Bella started to hyperventilate.

"I swear they will be fine," I promised her. "The Volturi won't recognize the scent—they won't realize the wolves are here; this isn't a species they're familiar with." Because the Quileutes were not actually werewolves. "The pack will be fine."

"What happened?" she whispered. "Before. When Seth was howling? When you were hurt?"

I hesitated, but then decided that maybe if I told her slowly enough, bit by bit, she would be okay. There was no way to keep it from her forever.

"Edward! Tell me!" she demanded.

"It was all over," I whispered. "The wolves didn't count their half…they thought they had them all. Of course, Alice couldn't see…"

"What happened?!"

"One of the newborns was hiding…Leah found him—she was being stupid, cocky, trying to prove something. She engaged him alone…"

"Leah," she mumbled. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Leah wasn't hurt," I mumbled.

She stared at me, and I could tell she knew I wasn't telling her everything.

"We're almost there," I said, staring off into the distance, not looking at Bella.

"Edward," Bella said almost inaudibly. "Edward, someone got hurt."

There was no help for it. I had to tell her. "Yes."

"Who?"

I hesitated a long moment before I answered. "Jacob."

"Of course," she whispered. And then she went limp, her eyes shutting. She had passed out.

I hurried back to the clearing, desperate to find Carlisle and have him help Bella. He was examining Jacob, who was still in his wolf form, when I got there.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry," I murmured.

_I'll be okay,_ he thought, and then he caught sight of Bella. _What happened to Bella? Is she hurt?_

"She fainted, but other than that, she's fine."

Carlisle turned from Jacob to examine Bella, just as Sam and Paul arrived, in their human forms, to take Jacob back to his house. "Sam, may I have permission to cross the boundary line and examine Jacob at his house once the Volturi leave?" Carlisle asked. "I'll be much better able to help him once I have the proper medical supplies."

"Yes, of course," Sam answered.

"Can you try to get him to phase back?" Carlisle asked. "It will make treating him easier. I'm not a veterinarian."

Sam chuckled lightly. "Sure," he said. Then he and Paul lifted Jacob gently, carrying him away.

_Come with the doc when he comes to my house, bloodsucker. We need to talk, _Jacob thought as they carried him away. He was looking at me, waiting for an answer, so I nodded.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked me, taking Bella's wrist and checking for a pulse. "She's fine."

Esme rushed over to us, putting her hand on Bella's forehead and stroking it gently.

"Victoria and the one who was in Bella's room came to find me, guessing that I would be with Bella," I told them. "Seth and I took care of them. But Bella had to watch the whole thing. Had to watch me kill Victoria. She was terrified from that, and then she started hyperventilating when she found out about the Volturi. When she found out that Jacob got hurt, it was the last straw, I think. She passed out."

"She'll be fine, Edward. I can see that," Alice promised me.

I nodded, but I couldn't speak to verbally acknowledge what Alice had told me.

It was then that I noticed a vampire in the clearing who was not one of us. It was a young girl, no more than fifteen years old, with wild red eyes. She was a newborn.

"What's going on? Why is that newborn still alive?" I asked.

"She surrendered," Carlisle told me. "Jasper's keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't hurt Bella or anyone else."

The newborn screeched and wailed. She smelled Bella and wanted to have her for lunch. I growled.

"Don't worry, Edward. She won't hurt Bella. Bella will be fine," Alice told me.

Carlisle took my angel's wrist again, once more checking her vitals. "She's perfectly fine," he assured me. He could see the tension written on my face.

"Carlisle," I said, my voice a mixture of worry and pain. "It's been five minutes." Couldn't she squirm or something to let me know she was okay?

"She'll come around when she's ready, Edward," Carlisle said calmly. "She's had too much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself."

"Alice, how long do we have?" I asked.

"Another five minutes," she told me. "And Bella will open her eyes in thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn't doubt that she can hear us now."

"Bella, honey?" Esme said softly. "Can you hear me? You're safe now, dear."

I bent my head so my lips were touching Bella's ear as I spoke. "He's going to live, Bella," I whispered softly. "Jacob Black is healing as I speak. He'll be fine."

Her eyelids fluttered, but didn't open.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed in relief. I kissed her softly.

"Edward?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

"Yes, I'm here."

She opened her eyes and stared into mine. I gently squeezed her to my chest, relief pulsing through my body. Bella was okay.

"Jacob is okay?" she demanded.

"Yes."

"I examined him myself," Carlisle told her.

Bella turned to look at him.

"His life is not in any danger," he told her. "He was healing at an incredible rate, though his injuries were extensive enough that it will still be a few days before he is back to normal, even if the rate of repair holds steady. As soon as we're done here, I will do what I can to help him. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human form. That will make treating him easier." He smiled weakly. "I've never been to veterinarian school."

"What happened to him?" Bella whispered. "How bad are his injuries?"

"Another wolf was in trouble—"

"Leah," she breathed.

"Yes. He knocked her out of the way, but he didn't have time to defend himself. The newborn got his arms around him. Most of the bones on the right half of his body were crushed."

Bella flinched.

"Sam and Paul got there in time," Carlisle continued. "He was already improving when they took him back to La Push."

"He'll be back to normal?" Bella demanded.

"Yes, Bella," Carlisle promised. "He won't have any permanent damage."

Bella took a deep breath.

"Three minutes," Alice murmured.

Bella struggled, trying to stand. I gently helped her to her feet. I saw her bewildered expression when she took in the newborn, who was now lying on the ground near the bonfire, curled up into a ball.

"She surrendered," I told her quietly. "That's one I've never seen before. Only Carlisle would think of offering. Jasper doesn't approve."

Jasper rubbed his left forearm. He'd been bitten, and the venom stung.

"Is Jasper all right?" Bella asked.

"He's fine," I assured her. "The venom stings."

"He was bitten?"

"He was trying to be everywhere at once. Trying to make sure Alice had nothing to do, actually." I shook my head. "Alice doesn't need anyone else's help."

Alice grimaced in Jasper's direction. "Overprotective fool."

Suddenly, the newborn threw her head back like an animal and wailed. _I want her!_

Jasper growled at the girl and she cringed back, but her fingers dug into the ground like claws, her head whipping back and forth between Bella and Jasper. Jasper took a step toward her, tensing himself for attack. The girl was getting dangerously close to attacking Bella, so I moved as casually as possible, turning so that I was between the girl and my love. Carlisle was at Jasper's side in an instant, putting a restraining hand on his arm.

"Have you changed your mind, young one?" Carlisle asked the girl calmly. "We don't want to destroy you, but we will if you can't control yourself."

"How can you stand it?" the girl groaned. "I _want_ her."

"You must stand it," Carlisle said seriously. "You must exercise control. It is possible, and it is the only thing that will save you now."

"Shouldn't we move away from her?" Bella whispered, tugging at my arm.

_I want her!_ The girl's thoughts were agonized, crazed.

"We have to stay here," I told Bella softly. "_They_ are coming to the north end of the clearing now."

I stared into the mist, watching Jane, Felix, and Demetri coming toward us. Bella looked around, trying to see them, too, but it was too soon for her human eyes, so she looked back at the newborn, morbidly interested. I guessed Bella realized that she was looking at a mirror image of her future. Only I wouldn't let her be like that. I wouldn't let her kill anyone.

The rest of my family came to stand with Bella, Alice, and me, all converging around Bella, who was still in my arms. Bella finally tore her attention away from the girl and stared ahead, waiting for the Volturi to arrive.

"Hmm," Jane muttered from the mist.

"Welcome, Jane," I said in a cold, but courteous tone.

Bella could see them now, and I heard her heart pick up.

Felix let his hood fall back slightly and winked at Bella. _You do smell so appetizing._

I tensed, using all of my strength not to attack Felix.

Jane looked at each of us, and let her eyes linger on the newborn. _Who is this?_ "I don't understand," she said flatly. _Why is this newborn still alive?_

"She has surrendered," I told Jane.

"Surrendered?" Jane asked, looking at me.

Felix and Demetri exchanged a confused glance. They were just as mystified as Jane was.

"Carlisle gave her the option," I said with a shrug.

"There are no options for those who break the rules," Jane said, still in the same monotone.

"That's in your hands," Carlisle told her. "As long as she was willing to halt her attack on us, I saw no need to destroy her. She was never taught."

"That is irrelevant," Jane told him.

"As you wish," he said, resigned. He didn't like the idea of killing this girl.

Jane continued to look at Carlisle. "Aro hoped that we would get far enough west to see you, Carlisle. He sends his regards."

Carlisle nodded. "I would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him."

"Of course," Jane said with a smile. Then she turned back toward the bonfire. "It appears that you've done our work for us today…for the most part." Her eyes moved to the newborn. "Just out of professional curiosity, how many were there? They left quite a wake of destruction in Seattle."

"Eighteen, including this one," Carlisle answered.

Jane's eyes widened. _You killed seventeen newborn vampires?_

Felix and Demetri exchanged another, longer glance. They were amazed.

"Eighteen?" Jane repeated.

"All brand-new," Carlisle told her. "They were unskilled."

"All? Then who was their creator?" Jane asked, her voice now sharp and interested.

"Her name was Victoria," I answered flatly.

"Was?" Jane asked. _What happened to her?_

I inclined my head toward the forest and the other billow of smoke rising from the trees, the product of Seth and I's smaller bonfire.

Jane looked in the direction I had indicated for a moment, then turned her eyes back to the larger bonfire here. "This Victoria—she was in addition to the eighteen here?"

"Yes," I told her. "She had only one other with her. He was not as young as this one here, but no older than a year."

"Twenty," Jane breathed. _The Cullens are getting stronger than Aro realized. _"Who dealt with the creator?"

"I did."

Jane narrowed her eyes and turned to the newborn. "You there. Your name."

The newborn looked at Jane, her lips pursed together. She was using every ounce of control she had not to attack Bella. She couldn't speak.

Jane smiled at her, and suddenly the girl was writhing in agony, her body twisting and contorting in unnatural ways. I heard Bella grit her teeth, and I tightened my hold on her slightly. She tried to look at me, but then turned to Alice and Esme instead. After a minute, Jane stopped.

"Your name," Jane repeated flatly.

"Bree," the girl gasped.

Jane smiled at her again, and again the girl shrieked in agony. This was really unnecessary.

_Stop, please! I'll tell you anything you want to know! _Bree couldn't stand any more of this.

"She'll tell you anything you want to know," I told Jane when she stopped. "You don't have to do that."

Jane looked at me. "Oh, I know," she said, amused. _But where's the fun in that?_ She grinned at me before turning back to Bree. "Bree, is his story true? Were there twenty of you?"

"Nineteen or twenty," Bree panted, "maybe more. I don't know!" She cringed. _Please don't hurt me again._ "Sara and the other one whose name I don't know got in a fight on the way…"

"And this Victoria—did she create you?" Jane asked.

"I don't know," Bree said, flinching again, terrified that her lack of information would lead to more pain. "Riley never said her name. I didn't see that night…it was so dark, and it hurt…" Bree shuddered at the memory of her transformation. "He didn't want us to be able to think of her. He said that our thoughts weren't safe…"

Jane's eyes flickered to me. _How do you know it was Victoria?_

Before I could answer her question, Jane spoke to the girl again. "Tell me about Riley. Why did he bring you here?"

"Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here. He said it would be easy. He said that the city was theirs, and they were coming to get us. He said once they were gone, all the blood would be ours. He gave us her scent," Bree said, pointing at Bella. "He said we would know we had the right coven, because she would be with them. He said whoever got to her first could have her."

I flexed my jaw. No one would _touch _my Bella.

"It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part," Jane said.

Bree nodded, sitting up carefully. Every movement was calculated, controlled. "I don't know what happened. We split up, but the others never came. And Riley left us, and he didn't come to help like he promised. And then it was so confusing, and everybody was in pieces." She shuddered again, this time at the memory of seeing her comrades in pieces around her. "I was afraid. I wanted to run away. That one"—she looked at Carlisle—"said they wouldn't hurt me if I stopped fighting."

"Ah, but that wasn't his gift to offer, young one," Jane said gently. "Broken rules demand a consequence."

Bree stared at her. _What do you mean?_

Jane turned to look at Carlisle. "Are you sure you got all of them? The other half that split off?"

Carlisle kept a smooth face as he nodded. "We split up, too."

Jane half-smiled. "I can't deny that I'm impressed. I've never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the key?" She unwillingly looked at Bella for a moment, then back to Carlisle.

Bella shivered, and I held her tighter.

"Victoria held a grudge against Bella," I explained impassively.

Jane laughed. "This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind." Suddenly, she smiled at Bella again, testing to see if the glitch in Bella's brain had somehow been removed. She was trying to torture Bella with her…abilities.

I stiffened and looked at Jane. "Would you please not do that?" I asked, my voice tight from the tension.

Jane laughed again. "Just checking. No harm done, apparently."

Bella shivered again, and I held her even closer.

"Well, it appears that there's not much left for us to do. Odd," Jane said. "We're not used to being rendered unnecessary. It's too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch." _I would have liked to see you all fighting for your lives._

"Yes," I answered sharply. "And you were so close. It's a shame you didn't arrive just a half hour earlier. Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here."

"Yes. Quite a pity how things turned out, isn't it?" _You're all still alive. A pity indeed._

I nodded once, my suspicions confirmed.

"Felix?" Jane said, turning to look at him. She was about to have Felix destroy Bree.

Much as I didn't want to risk the danger that Bree would be to Bella, I also didn't want Bella to see any more today. She'd seen enough to last a lifetime.

"Wait," I interjected quickly.

Jane raised an eyebrow at me, but I was looking at Carlisle as I spoke. "We could explain the rules to the young one," I told her. "She doesn't seem unwilling to learn. She didn't know what she was doing."

"Of course," Carlisle said. "We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree."

Jane couldn't believe what she was hearing. "We don't make exceptions. And we don't give second chances. It's bad for our reputation. Which reminds me…" She turned to look at Bella again. "Caius will be _so_ interested to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit."

_Oh, no they don't!_ Alice spoke for the first time. "The date is set. Perhaps we'll come to visit you in a few months."

Jane's smile faded as she turned to look at Carlisle again. "It was nice to meet you, Carlisle—I'd thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again…"

Carlisle nodded with a pained expression. He was just as anxious as I was for this encounter to be over.

"Take care of that, Felix," Jane said apathetically, nodding toward Bree. "I want to go home."

I bent down to whisper in my angel's ear. "Don't watch."

She shut her eyes and cringed into my chest as Felix growled and attacked Bree. I rubbed Bella's shoulders anxiously as Bree wailed in agony, and even after the sound was cut off by Felix beheading her. He tore her body apart quickly and added the remains to our bonfire.

"Come," Jane said, and they disappeared into the mist as quickly as they'd come.


	22. 21 Assurances

21. Assurances

After I unwillingly surrendered Bella to Alice for the afternoon, I joined Carlisle and we went to Jacob's house. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation I was sure Jacob wanted to have with me, but I realized the necessity of it. I needed to convince him that Bella would be okay, and that I would take care of her.

The pack was all sitting in Jacob's living room, along with Billy and Charlie. I gave my regards to Charlie, who eyed me suspiciously.

Carlisle used his portable X-ray machine to examine Jacob. Unfortunately, the fact that Jacob had started to heal in his wolf form had caused the bones to heal unevenly. Carlisle was going to have to re-break every single one of them.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, but we're going to have to re-break the fractures," Carlisle told him, truly sorry.

He gave Jacob some morphine and started with the smaller bones, which would hurt less, but it still hurt Jacob enough that he let a stream of profanities loose. In between a few of them, he looked over at Charlie and said, "Bet you're glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?"

Charlie half-smiled. _I can't argue with that. Edward is more mature when it comes to Bella's safety. And the way he looks right now…he seems really worried about Jake. Much as I hate to admit it, he's a decent guy._ He left, saying his goodbyes to everyone.

So Jacob knew. What could I say to him? How could I convince him that Bella would be okay?

I had enough medical training to help Carlisle, but I didn't want to frighten Jacob, so I just sat there. I had a feeling he'd object to me breaking his bones. It would probably feel like revenge for the kiss, and I didn't want him to think that way. I was worried about him. He was a good friend to Bella, and, much as I hated to say it, any friend of Bella's was a friend of mine.

When Carlisle finished putting braces on Jacob's entire right side (he was healing too quickly for plaster to be necessary), he tried to give Jacob some more morphine for the pain. His body temperature was so high that he'd already burned through the morphine Carlisle had given him when he'd re-broken the fractures.

"No, wait," Jacob told him.

Carlisle looked at him, confused.

"Can you guys give me a minute alone with…Edward?" he asked.

Now Carlisle understood. _You okay, son? Do you want to talk to him?_

I nodded at Carlisle.

"Come on, everyone, let's go outside for a minute," Billy suggested.

Sam went to take Billy's wheelchair and rolled him out of the house. Everyone else followed suit.

_Just come find me when you're done here, Edward. Then I'll give him some morphine and we can go, _Carlisle thought.

I nodded again.

When everyone had left and I was confident no one could hear us, I turned to Jacob. We sat there for a moment in silence, neither of us knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Jacob finally said. "I'm sorry I tricked her like that. I don't regret kissing her, or even tricking her into asking me, and I'd do it again, but it wasn't the best timing for anyone."

"I'm not mad at you, Jacob," I assured him. "You deserved your chance. Sure, I wish she hadn't asked you, and I wish even more that she hadn't kissed you back, but I'm not mad. It was my decisions that led to your feelings for her, and her feelings for you. How can I be mad over something that I caused?"

"What do you mean? How did you cause it?"

"If I'd never left, she would have had no reason to bond with you, or you with her. It was my decision to leave that caused your relationship. I made her fall in love with you, Jacob. I can't escape the consequences of my actions."

He smiled. "You see, I was right."

I smiled back, a smile of friendship. "Yes, you were."

Jacob sighed. "But it's not enough. I see that now. I could never change anything. She has to be with you. I wish I could make her as happy as you do, but I can't. She'll never be as happy with me as she is with you."

"I'm not going to say that I'm not eternally grateful for that, but part of me wishes she would choose you, Jacob."

He smiled again. "I know, and I also know that she won't choose me. She made her decision as soon as you came back. You brought her back to life instantly. Even through the pain she felt every time she saw me, I saw it. And I saw it even more when you finally let her see me. She was alive again. She was the Bella I met on the beach, the day I told her about you."

"She's changed me, too, Jacob. I was a very different person before I met her. I wasn't happy, and I truly hated myself. Bella turned me into someone that I can live with. I'm my very best self when I'm with her."

"I know what you mean. So am I. I'm happier with her, even when she's sad. It's like…like I'm whole or something. Like she completes me."

I smiled. I knew exactly what he meant. "I don't know what to say to make this any easier for you, Jacob. I'm truly sorry for your pain."

"Just…promise me she'll be okay. Promise me you'll take care of her," he said, his pain leaking into his voice.

"I will, Jacob. You have my word. I'll take care of her. She'll be safe and happy," I vowed.

He smiled. "Okay, that's the main thing. As long as she's happy. That's all I've ever wanted for her."

"I know, Jacob. Listen, I'm not going to force her into anything. If she decides she wants you now, I won't stop her."

"No," Jacob said, tears coming into his eyes. "She won't choose me. I could tell when she was kissing me. Part of her was wondering why she didn't stop it. Even then, she'd made her choice. Her loving me isn't enough. You have some sort of other hold on her, a stronger hold than love. It's like…like you've imprinted on her or something. No, like she's imprinted on you."

Once more, I remembered Marcus' assessment of Bella and I's relationship and smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"It's nothing."

"No, it's something. Tell me. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I don't think I can be hurt any more than I am already."

I sighed. "When Alice, Bella, and I were in Italy, we were dragged in front of Aro, Marcus, and Caius, the three main members of the Volturi. I tried to stop it, because I didn't want Bella in the middle of it, but in the end, we didn't have a choice. Marcus' gift is seeing relationships. He saw my relationship with Bella and commented that it was even stronger than your imprinting."

Instead of the grimace I'd thought I would see, Jacob smiled. "See? It is like she's imprinted on you. I'm not going to say that I'm not jealous, but I'm not going to try to make her choose anymore. Do you remember that story in the Bible, about the king and the two women who were fighting over the baby?"

"Yes."

"And the king said to cut the kid in half, just to see which of them would give up their share to protect it."

"Right."

"I'm not going to cut Bella in half anymore. She's yours, and nothing I can do will change that. You're a very lucky guy, Edward. Bella's…incredible. She's the most amazing person I know."

I smiled again. "I know, Jacob. I know exactly how lucky I am. I wonder constantly what she sees in me, why she's with me. And I'm not going to cut her in half, either. I'll still let her make her choice, no matter what it is."

He sighed. "You know, if it weren't for the fact that you're a disgusting vampire who's trying to suck the life out of the girl I love, I might actually like you."

I laughed.

"Can you get the doc back in here? I think I'm ready for that morphine. Everything hurts."

"Of course. I hope you're feeling better soon. At least, I hope you heal from your injuries soon."

He smiled. "Thanks. And, er, congratulations, by the way."

I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "Thank you, Jacob." I walked out to find Carlisle.

He wasn't far away. He'd heard the whole conversation. _I'm proud of you, son. I'm glad you talked to him._

"I never thought I'd say this, but so am I. He's ready for some morphine."

"All right. I'll be back shortly."

Carlisle went back inside and gave Jacob more morphine than before. He wasn't sure exactly how much to use, since Jacob was burning through it so quickly.

"Try to rest, Jacob," Carlisle told him. "And don't phase again until I give the okay. It might mess up your recovery."

"Thanks, doc," Jacob said, his speech a little slurred by the morphine.

"You're very welcome, Jacob. I hope you're feeling better soon. Take care."

Carlisle walked out the door and came to find me. _Let's go home, son._

Suddenly, home was not where I wanted to go with Carlisle. I wanted to talk to him about the bargain I'd made with Bella, to make sure that it was safe. I was unsure of myself again. I didn't trust myself not to hurt her. If anyone could help me, it would be Carlisle. And home, with half a dozen vampires with sharp hearing who could hear every word of the conversation and would be listening intently, was not the place to have that conversation.

"Wait," I said. "Will you come with me to my meadow?"

_Why?_

"I need to talk to you, and home probably isn't the best place for this conversation."

_All right. Let's go._

We got in the car and drove to the clearing, where the bonfire from earlier was finally starting to die, and then ran the rest of the way from there. When we got to the meadow, the campsite from the night before was still there, in pieces. I started to clean up.

"Let me help you with that," Carlisle offered. He picked up the sleeping bag and rolled it up as he spoke. "What's on your mind, son?"

I hesitated, unsure how to begin. "Well, it's about Bella," I began.

He smiled. "I figured as much. What about Bella?"

I sighed. "Remember that, er, sex talk you wanted to give me a few weeks ago?"

He laughed. "Don't tell me you've changed your mind and you want to hear it now?"

I grimaced. "Actually, I do. On Thursday night, when Bella and I were at the house, we ended up making a deal. She wants to have sex with me while she's still human. She begged mercilessly, and I finally agreed to try, after she married me. And, well, now I'm officially engaged."

He grinned. "Congratulations!"

I smiled. "Thanks. But now I'm nervous. Is it safe? While she's still human?"

"The wedding? Of course it's safe. All you have to do is repeat after the minister and dance with her. Of course, for Bella, the dancing might not be safe."

I groaned at his bad joke. "I'm serious. Is it safe for me to hold up my end of the deal? To make love with her while she's still human?"

Carlisle sat down and motioned for me to join him. "I think you know it will be very dangerous for her. If you lost control of yourself for even a split second, you could crush every bone in her body. That's why you stopped yourself before. But my faith in you hasn't wavered. You love Bella. This isn't lust or just a casual fling. This is love. Real, true love. Stronger even than I feel for Esme, if that's possible. I know you're strong enough mentally that you won't hurt her."

"How can you be sure of that, Carlisle? What if I see that I'm hurting her, but I can't stop?"

"You'll be able to. If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be encouraging this. You know I already think of Bella as a daughter. I would never encourage anything that could potentially hurt her."

"What should I expect? I mean, I know it won't be the same for me as it is for her, what with my being a vampire and all."

He laughed. "No, it won't be the same. It will be more intense for you. Physical love is a very powerful thing, Edward. For vampires, with our rarely changing temperaments, the emotions it causes can be quite literally life-altering. But I don't really think you need to worry about that. Bella has already altered you so completely. I don't think you realize how much she's changed you, son."

I smiled. "Oh, I do realize it. I didn't realize I was capable of the magnitude of love I feel for Bella. It feels like I leave part of myself behind every time I leave her, even if it's only for ten minutes."

"I know," Carlisle said with a smile. "We all know. We've seen the changes in you. In your behavior, in your speech, even in the way you move. You move more slowly now. You're more careful about how much force you put into any action, not just when you're around Bella, but all the time. You're a different person, Edward. A better person."

I sighed. "I know I am. I actually like myself now. But sometimes I wish she didn't feel the same way about me. There's so much I'm taking away from her by being with her."

"Edward, you are who she wants. She'll never regret the decision to become immortal with you, no matter what it costs her. You're more important to her than anything she'll be giving up."

"She might feel that way now, but what about fifty years from now? I'll be taking away the opportunity for her to have a family, have children."

"I'm sure she's more than willing to make that sacrifice. She wants to be with you, Edward. That's all she cares about."

I sighed again. "So you're sure it's safe? Really? You don't think I'll hurt her?"

"Yes, I'm sure, son. Bella's never asked you for anything, even though she knows you want to give her everything in the world, so for her to ask you for this…she must want it very much. At least try to give it to her. Don't be afraid. It'll be fine."

I got up and got back to work, picking up the pieces of the tent that were strewn around. "Thank you, Carlisle."

Carlisle got up and started to help me again. "Anytime. See, that wasn't so horrible, was it?"

I sighed. "No, it wasn't."

"Are you sure you didn't already hold up your end of the bargain? What happened to this tent?"

I laughed. "When I smelled Victoria and Riley coming, I ripped our way out of the tent instead of using the door to get us out."

Carlisle grinned. "That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it."

I laughed again, and then my phone rang. It was Alice.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked her.

"Edward, Bella's parked on the side of the road just past the boundary line. And, if she's sad now, then she was exuberant with joy when you found her in the tent earlier."

"She's upset?"

"Very. She needs you."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you, Alice."

"You're welcome. And, by the way, I trust you. I trusted you before and I trust you now. You won't hurt her. It'll be fine."

I groaned. "Oh, great."

She laughed. "Don't worry. I'll block out the details and I won't tell a soul. Not even Jasper. But I do trust you."

"Thanks, Alice," I mumbled, and then hung up.

I turned to explain to Carlisle, but he'd heard the other end of the conversation.

"Go on, son. I'll finish cleaning up here. Bella needs you."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I said. "For everything."

"You're very welcome. Go on. Go to Bella."


	23. 22 Decision

22. Decision

I ran up to Bella's truck and opened the driver's side door, pulling her into my arms. I was saddened by her grief, but part of me was also happy. She had chosen me.

I gently scooted her over so I could get in the driver's seat, not letting go of her. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just held her tightly and let her sob. After about ten minutes, she started to blubber out her father's name.

"Are you really ready to go home?" I asked doubtfully.

After several attempts, she managed to tell me that it wasn't going to get better any time soon. She needed to get past Charlie before it got late enough for him to call Billy.

That made sense. She could cry just as easily in her bedroom as she could sitting in her truck on the side of the road, and then at least Charlie would know where she was. So I drove her home, for once not even approaching her antiquated truck's internal speed limit. I kept one arm wrapped tightly around her the whole way home. I could tell she was fighting for control, so that she could get past Charlie without too many questions. At first, it seemed like a doomed effort, but she finally managed to quiet the sobs; quiet them, but not stop them. The tears—well, that was a lost cause.

"Wait for me upstairs," she mumbled when I pulled up to her house.

I hugged her closer for a minute, not wanting to let her go, but Charlie didn't know I was with her, and it would definitely raise suspicion if I came in the front door with her. So I flew up the tree and in her window, waiting for her on her bed.

"Bella?" Charlie called. _What happened to her? Is Jake okay? _"What happened? Is Jacob…?"

"He's fine, he's fine," Bella assured Charlie, her voice hoarse from the sobs.

"But what happened? What happened to you?"

"Nothing, Dad. I…just had to talk to Jacob about…some things that were hard. I'm fine."

"Was this really the best time?" Charlie asked.

"Probably not, Dad, but I didn't have any alternatives—it just got to the point where I had to choose…Sometimes, there isn't any way to compromise."

_Poor Jake. _"How did he handle it?"

Bella didn't answer.

"I hope you didn't mess up his recovery," Charlie said in a disapproving tone. I wanted to go down there and slap him. Wasn't it obvious that his daughter was in pain? And all he could think about was Jacob's recovery.

"He's a quick healer," Bella mumbled. The control she'd fought so hard for in the truck was slipping away.

Charlie sighed. _Poor Jake. Why couldn't she at least attempt to keep him in her life?_

"I'll be in my room," Bella told Charlie.

"'Kay," he agreed. He wouldn't be checking on her tonight. He was terrified of tears.

Bella stumbled into her room, blinded by her tears. Once she found her way to her bed, she sat down and tried with trembling hands to remove the bracelet Jacob had given her for graduation.

"No, Bella," I whispered, holding her hands still. "It's part of who you are."

I pulled her into my arms again as the sobs she'd been keeping back broke free. I didn't say much during the night. I didn't know what to say, how to make it easier for her. I didn't know if I could.

At one point, she started hysterically wailing something about not letting me see her shed another tear for Jacob. I tried to soothe her then, to tell her that it was all right, but this frightened me even more than the weeping.

I just held Bella on her bed, letting her stain my shirt with her tears, until she finally cried herself to sleep. As I watched her sleep, I thought.

Had she made the right choice by staying with me? Really? I'd never seen her in this kind of pain, ever. She'd had to cut someone very close to her out of her life completely in order to be with me. Someone she was in love with. I would let her stay in my life, if she wanted. But if she needed to be with Jacob, I would accept that. I had caused her too much pain already. I couldn't cause her more by making her choose between us. If she needed both of us to be happy, she could have both of us.

I'd been so stubborn. So horribly stubborn. I'd clung with such fervor to my idea of what was best for Bella, and it had led to this. I'd left her, causing her to form a friendship with Jacob. That wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been for the fact that he'd fallen in love with her, and she with him. And then I'd refused to let her see him for so long, all because of my jealousy and my prejudice against werewolves. It had all but literally stabbed a knife in my chest every time I saw the pain in her eyes when she thought of Jacob. So then I'd decided it was all right for her to see him. This led to him telling her he'd rather see her dead than become a vampire. And I'd hurt her by keeping her human. She'd begged time and again to become a vampire, but I'd always found a reason to stall her, whether it was graduation, or getting married, or Charlie, or my little "I'm not going to let you do this while you feel threatened" speech. She'd agreed, finally, but I knew she wanted to become a vampire now, not to wait until we were married.

So I would make it right. It had been my idea to get married. She didn't really want it. She loved me. That could be enough for me. She had once told me that _marriage_ and _eternity _were not mutually inclusive concepts. She was right. I would let her become a vampire now. The sooner, the better. She was trying to make everyone else happy, and it was causing her pain, over and over again.

But…if I was going to allow her to become a vampire right away, I would follow through with my end of the bargain we'd made a couple of nights ago. I wouldn't make her keep her end of it, but I would keep mine. Carlisle and Alice both had faith in me that I wouldn't hurt her. And, now that I thought of it, I was always so gentle with Bella anyway. How could I ever possibly hurt her? I would be able to do this, to make her happy.

That was all I wanted for her. I wanted her to be happy. Only her. I didn't care whether anyone else was happy or not, so long as she was. She was always concerned about everyone else's happiness. Her own happiness came last on her list of priorities. That wasn't right. I needed her to be happy, too. So she could have happiness her way, the way she wanted.

I was thinking about this when Bella's eyes opened. "Hey," she said in a hoarse voice.

I watched her warily, waiting for the waterworks to start again.

"No, I'm fine," she told me. "That won't happen again."

My eyes tightened involuntarily. I couldn't bear the thought of what I was about to ask her, but I needed to ask. I needed to be sure I wasn't causing her more pain by keeping her.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," Bella told me. "That wasn't fair to you."

I put my hands on either side of her face and forced the words out. "Bella…are you _sure_? Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain—" My voice broke on the last word and I couldn't finish my sentence.

She touched my lips lightly. "Yes."

"I don't know…If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"

"Edward, I know who I can't live without."

"But…"

Bella shook her head. "You don't understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that's what's best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It's the only way I can live."

I remembered Jacob's memory of her on the night I'd left her, and she was right. She had looked worse that night. But I couldn't stand for her to be sad. There had to be a way to make this work.

"Hand me that book, will you?" she asked, pointing over my shoulder to her copy of _Wuthering Heights._

"This again?" I asked.

"I just wanted to find this one part I remembered…to see how she said it…" She flipped through the book, finding the page quickly. "Cathy's a monster, but there were a few things she got right. 'If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.'" She nodded. "I know exactly what she means. And I know who I can't live without."

I finally believed her. She had to be with me, the way I had to be with her. My hold on her really was as strong as hers was on me. I took the book from her hands and flipped it across the room and then wrapped my arms around her waist. I smiled a little as I spoke.

"Heathcliff had his moments, too," I told her. I didn't need the book to get it word perfect. "'I _cannot_ live without my life! I _cannot_ live without my soul!'"

"Yes," she murmured. "That's my point."

"Bella, I can't stand for you to be miserable. Maybe…"

"No, Edward. I've made a real mess of things, and I'm going to have to live with that. But I know what I want and what I need…and what I'm going to do now."

She wasn't doing anything without me. I couldn't let her go. "What are _we_ going to do now?"

She smiled a little at my correction and then sighed. "We are going to see Alice."

Alice was sitting on the bottom porch step, too excited about the news Bella was coming to deliver to wait for us inside. She was about to break into a celebration dance as we pulled up.

"Thank you, Bella!" she sang as I helped my…my fiancée from the truck.

"Hold it, Alice," Bella said, holding up a hand. "I've got a few limitations for you."

"I know, I know, I know. I only have until August thirteenth at the latest, you have veto power on the guest list, and if I go overboard on anything, you'll never speak to me again."

"Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules, then?"

"Don't worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see your dress?"

Her dress? When had Alice gotten her a dress?

Bella took a few deep breaths to calm herself before speaking. "Sure. Um, Alice, when did you get me a dress?"

I squeezed her hand, just as anxious as she was. I knew Bella was only doing this to make Alice happy.

_Before graduation. _"These things take time, Bella," Alice told Bella as we headed up the stairs, dodging the question. "I mean, I wasn't _sure_ things were going to turn out this way, but there was a distinct possibility…"

"When?" Bella asked again.

"Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know," Alice said, dodging the question again. "Fabric masterpieces don't happen overnight. If I hadn't thought ahead, you'd be wearing something off the rack!"

"Per—who?"

"He's not a major designer, Bella, so there's no need to throw a hissy fit. He's got promise, though, and he specializes in what I needed."

"I'm not throwing a fit," Bella promised.

"No, you're not," she said, suspicious now. She was confused about _why_ Bella wasn't throwing a fit. Then she turned to me. "You—out."

"Why?" Bella demanded.

"Bella," Alice groaned. "You know the rules. He's not supposed to see the dress till the day of."

Bella took another deep breath. "It doesn't matter to me. And you know he's already seen it in your head. But if that's how you want it…"

Alice shoved me out the door, singing show tunes in her head to keep the dress from me. I looked at Bella warily. I wanted to be sure she was okay.

She nodded calmly as Alice shut the door.

"All right!" she muttered. "C'mon!"

I heard footsteps and then the unzipping of a bag, but I didn't see the dress.

"Well?" Alice asked. _525,600 minutes. 525,000 moments so dear._

"Ah," Bella said after a long moment. "I see."

"What do you think?" Alice demanded. _525,600 minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?_

"It's perfect, of course. Exactly right. You're a genius."

"I know." _In daylights, in sunsets._

"Nineteen-eighteen?"

"More or less. Some of it is _my_ design, the train, the veil…The lace is vintage. Do you like it?" _In midnights, in cups of coffee._

"It's beautiful," Bella assured her. "It's just right for him."

There she went again, wanting to make everyone else happy.

"But is it just right for you?" Alice insisted. _In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife._

"Yes, I think it is, Alice. I think it's just what I need. I know you'll do a great job with this…if you can keep yourself in check. Can I see your dress?"

_Huh? My dress?_

"Didn't you order your bridesmaid dress at the same time? I wouldn't want my maid of honor to wear something off the _rack_."

_Maid of honor? _"Thank you, Bella!" Alice sang.

"How could you not see that one coming? Some psychic you are!"

"I've got so much to do! Go play with Edward. I have to get to work." She dashed out of the room, calling for Esme.

Bella came out a minute later.

"That was very, very nice of you," I told her.

"She seems happy," Bella said.

I touched her face, searching it, trying to see if she was happy. And she looked a little happy, but mostly she looked worried. She didn't really want this.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested. "Let's go to our meadow."

"I guess I don't have to hide out anymore, do I?"

"No," I promised her. "The danger is behind us."

I was quiet as I ran. I was trying to psyche myself up for what I was about to do. But I had faith in myself now. I could never hurt Bella. I would be able to give her what she wanted.

We lay silently in the grass, holding hands and staring at the sky.

"August thirteenth?" I asked after a few minutes.

"That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn't want to cut it too close."

I sighed. Her fear of getting older. Of course. "Esme is three years older than Carlisle—technically. Did you know that?"

Bella shook her head.

"It hasn't made any difference to them."

"My age is not really that important. Edward, I'm ready. I've chosen my life—now I want to start living it."

I stroked her hair. "The guest list veto?"

"I don't care really, but I…I'm not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite…a few werewolves. I don't know if…Jake would feel like…like he _should_ come. Like that's the right thing to do, or that I'd get my feelings hurt if he didn't. He shouldn't have to go through that."

Again with making other people happy. What about her happiness? Didn't that matter to her at all?

I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up onto my chest. "Tell me why you're doing this, Bella," I demanded. "Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?"

"Last night, before I went to see Jacob, Charlie told me that he'd had this weird feeling. Like something was going to happen to me. And he made me promise not to just leave him. He begged me to tell him before I ran off with you or something. It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this. And that means Renee and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it's much too early, I wouldn't want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle." She grimaced and took a deep breath before continuing. "At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I'm allowed to tell them. They'll know I chose you, and they'll know that we're together. They'll know I'm happy, wherever I am. I think that's the best I can do for them."

I held her face between my hands, searching it for any sign of her own happiness. I found none. Only her concern for the happiness of others. "Deal's off," I told her.

"_What?_" Bella gasped. "You're backing out? No!"

"I'm not backing out, Bella," I promised. "I'll still keep my side of the bargain. But you're off the hook. Whatever you want, no strings attached."

"Why?"

"Bella, I see what you're doing. You're trying to make everyone else happy. And I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I only need _you_ to be happy. Don't worry about breaking the news to Alice. I'll take care of it. I promise she won't make you feel guilty."

"But I—"

"No. We're doing this your way. Because my way doesn't work. I call you stubborn, but look at what _I've_ done. I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you, though it's only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don't trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong. So." I shifted, squaring my shoulders, preparing myself for what was to come. "We're doing it _your way_, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner, the better. I'll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." I gritted my teeth at the thought of my love enduring the agony of the transformation process.

"Edward, no—"

I wasn't going to let her talk me out of this. I put a finger to her lips to silence her. "Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of your demands."

I twisted my fingers in her hair and kissed her, softly but very seriously. She immediately gripped my arms, pulling herself closer and responding with the same urgency. I rolled gently, pressing her into the grass, making sure she felt none of my weight. She shook her head, trying to breathe, so I moved my lips to her neck.

"Stop, Edward. Wait," she said in a weak voice.

But I wouldn't let her do this. I wouldn't hurt her again. "Why?" I whispered into the hollow of her throat.

"I don't want to do this now," she said, a little stronger but still very weak.

I smiled. "Don't you?" I moved my lips back to hers, silencing her feeble attempts to stick to my plan, my way of doing things.

But suddenly she moved her hands from my hair and shoved against my chest. I pulled back to look at her.

"Why?" I asked again. "I love you. I want you. Right now."

She didn't answer. I took advantage of her speechlessness, moving my mouth back to hers.

"Wait, wait," she said against my lips.

"Not for me," I murmured.

"_Please?_" she gasped.

I groaned. Even if she did insist on marrying me, I still wanted to do this now. I wanted her, more than anything else in the world. And I wanted her right now. But I wasn't going to force her, so I pulled away from her, rolling onto my back.

We both lay there for a moment, trying to slow our breathing.

"Tell me why not, Bella," I demanded. "This had better not be about me."

"Edward, this is very important to me. I _am_ going to do this right."

"Whose definition of right?"

"Mine."

I rolled onto my elbow so I could look at her. I let my disapproval for her concern about everyone else show. "_How_ are you going to do this right?"

She took a deep breath. "Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renee without the best resolution I can give them. I won't deny Alice her fun, if I'm having a wedding anyway. And I _will_ tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I'm following all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You're not going to budge me on this."

"I'll bet I _could_," I murmured, gazing straight into her eyes.

"But you wouldn't," she insisted. "Not knowing that this is what I really need."

"You don't fight fair," I accused.

She grinned. "Never said I did."

I smiled back wistfully. "If you change your mind…"

"You'll be the first to know."

It started to rain, and Bella glowered at the sky.

I brushed the beads of water off her cheek as I spoke. "I'll get you home."

"Rain's not the problem," she grumbled. "It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous."

I widened my eyes. What was she talking about?

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof." She sighed. "I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."

I laughed. "Highly dangerous. But at least there's no need for a side trip," I told her, pulling the ring out of a pocket in my jeans, where I'd kept it since she'd given it back.

Once again, I slid my mother's ring into place on the third finger of Bella's left hand. Where it would stay for the rest of eternity.


	24. Epilogue

Epilogue

As the sound of Charlie's police cruiser announced his return, Bella's heart kicked into fourth gear and she tried to tug her left hand out of my grasp. I wasn't having that. I held it gently but firmly, keeping it front and center.

"Stop fidgeting Bella," I told her. "Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here."

"Easy for you to say," she grumbled.

Her heart started racing even faster as Charlie walked up to the house and the key rattled in the already-open lock. I worried that she would have heart failure if she didn't calm herself down.

"Calm down, Bella," I said in as soothing a tone as I could manage. Suddenly, I was nervous, too.

Though I'd tried to give Bella happiness the way I'd thought she wanted it, the fact that she really did want to marry me had me almost exploding with joy. I was almost as happy now as I'd been on the night she'd finally agreed to it.

Charlie opened the door and walked in, starting to hang up his coat.

"Hey, Charlie," I called calmly.

"No!" Bella protested under her breath.

"What?" I whispered back.

"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"

I chuckled and ran my free hand through my hair.

Charlie came into the living room, still in his uniform with his gun strapped to his side, and tried not to make a face when he saw Bella and I sitting together on the loveseat. Since he'd seen me that day at Jacob's house, seen how worried I was about him, he'd put forth a lot more effort to like me, or at least not to loathe me. Of course, what we were about to tell him was going to change that.

"Hey, kids. What's up?" he said casually.

"We'd like to talk to you," I said, still calm. "We have some good news."

Well, to me it was the best news in the world. To him, it was the equivalent to Bella saying that she sacrificed kittens in her bedroom. Actually, Charlie probably would have preferred hearing that Bella sacrificed kittens in her bedroom than hearing that she was going to marry me.

_What's going on? Why are they being so formal? And why does Bella look like she's about to confess to a murder? She's pregnant. That has to be it. Knew this would happen. _"Good news?" he growled, looking straight at his daughter.

"Have a seat, Dad," Bella said, her anxiety coming through in her voice.

He raised an eyebrow at Bella, stared at her for five seconds, and then sat on the very edge of his recliner, stiff as a board.

"Don't get worked up, Dad," Bella said after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "Everything's okay."

I grimaced at the word _okay_. I would have used something like _wonderful_ or _perfect_ or _glorious_. Not _okay._ This was much better than _okay_.

"Sure it is, Bella, sure it is," Charlie grumbled. "If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating," Bella lied, and then wiped her hand across her forehead to remove the evidence. She cringed into me.

Charlie couldn't keep his suspicions quiet anymore. "You're pregnant!" he exploded, his eyes flickering to his gun. For a second, he contemplated shooting me. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Though the question was meant for Bella, he was now glaring at me. The phrase "if looks could kill" leapt to mind.

"No! Of course I'm not!" Bella said quickly.

_Oh. She's telling the truth. _"Oh. Sorry."

"Apology accepted," she said icily.

Charlie and I both waited for Bella to deliver the news, but after a long moment, she looked up at me, her eyes pleading. She couldn't get the words out.

I smiled at my angel and then squared my shoulders and turned to Charlie. "Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes, and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and—by some miracle—she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"

Charlie's eyes zeroed in on the ring, and the color of his face changed from fair to red to purple to blue. His thoughts were incoherent, ranging from angry to sad to amused, then back to angry again. Bella moved to get up, perhaps to make sure that he was still breathing, but I squeezed her hand.

"Give him a minute," I told her in a low voice.

Charlie finally calmed down and his eyebrows furrowed. He was now settling on being resigned. He had known something like this would happen sooner or later. Judging from the conversation Bella had told me about, he'd guessed it would be sooner rather than later.

"Guess I'm not that surprised," he grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."

Bella exhaled in relief. Probably relief that Charlie had decided not to pull his gun on me.

Charlie glared unhappily at Bella. "You sure about this?"

"I am one hundred percent sure about Edward," Bella said immediately.

Was my dead, frozen heart beating again? It felt like it.

"Getting married, though?" Charlie asked. "What's the rush?" He eyed his only daughter suspiciously. The thought that she was pregnant still hadn't completely diminished. He couldn't see any other possible reason for us getting married so soon.

Bella didn't answer.

"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie," I reminded him. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised." I shrugged.

Charlie's mouth twitched as he looked for an angle to argue from. He found none. He was, after all, a dad. His hands were tied. What could he say to that? _I'd prefer you live in sin first?_ Hardly.

"Knew this was coming," he muttered.

But then he found a way to argue. Well, not to argue, but to intimidate Bella. His face went perfectly smooth and blank.

"Dad?" Bella asked anxiously.

She glanced at me, but I kept the same serene expression I'd worn throughout the entire conversation on my face. It was a very difficult thing to do. He wasn't going to give us any trouble, but he _was_ going to make _Bella_ tell her mother about us.

"Ha!" Charlie exploded. He doubled over in laughter, thinking about Renee's reaction to the news.

Bella looked at me again, but I was pursing my lips now, trying to keep back my own laughter. That _would_ be a _very_ interesting conversation to listen to.

"Okay, fine," Charlie managed to choke out through his laughter. "Get married. But…" He started laughing again and couldn't finish his sentence.

"But what?" Bella demanded.

"But _you_ have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee. That's all yours!" He busted into loud guffaws.

Charlie's threat about telling Renee turned out to be completely weightless. Unlike Charlie, Renee loved me. She was actually almost as enthusiastic as Alice was about the wedding. She saw the depth of my feelings for Bella, and she was nothing but supportive of our relationship, although Bella's intensity about me did give her a little cause for suspicion. But what mother wouldn't love her daughter being with someone who was ready to die to protect her? Bella had told me once that Renee had said something along the lines of, "He looks like he's about to throw himself in front of a bullet for you." And that was true. I'd done much more dangerous things than throwing myself in front of a bullet to save Bella's life. Not that Renee was or ever would be aware of that.

Renee also adored my entire family, especially Esme. She spent hours on the phone with my mother every day, immersing herself in wedding plans. No worries there about the in-laws getting along.

Between Alice, Esme, and Renee, Bella barely had to think about the wedding at all, which suited her just fine. She preferred to think about it as little as possible. I tried numerous times to tell her that she didn't have to do this if she didn't want to, but she always insisted that she wanted to be responsible about this. Not that I wasn't completely euphoric about the idea of getting married, but I didn't want Bella to do anything she didn't want to do.

Since Bella was barely paying attention to anything having to do with the wedding, she didn't even notice when the invitations arrived. Before Alice could address all of them, I snuck one out of the pile. I was going against Bella's wishes by doing this. I knew she didn't want Jacob to feel obligated to attend our wedding, or even for him to have to think about it, but I tried to put myself in his shoes. If Bella had chosen Jacob instead of me, would I have wanted the choice to attend their wedding? Would I at least have wanted to know? And the answer came back as a resounding yes. So I looked up the Blacks' address in the phone book and addressed the envelope. Before sealing it, I grabbed a blank piece of stiff paper and wrote a short note.

Jacob,

I'm breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn't want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice.

I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you—for her—for everything.

Edward


End file.
